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Show Notes:

Decor inspiration:

DaVinci’s art studio – very beautiful

Danielle’s farmhouse – limewash exterior, very cottage core

Other cozy inspiration (fashion, food, drink or anything?)-

DaVinci’s painting of Danielle

Netted hair pieces

Danielle’s costume at the ball with the wings and her face covered in glitter

Braided hairstyles

All the dresses

Jewelry – necklaces and broaches

Rate this movie from 0 to 5 crowns

Elsie – 5

Emma – 4

Miss an Episode? Get Caught Up!

• Episode #225: Easter Traditions
• Episode #224: It’s Spring Bucket List Time!
• Episode #223: Buying Furniture for Your Home – Deep Dive

Episode 226 Transcript:

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Elsie: You’re listening to the A Beautiful Mess podcast, your cozy comfort listen.  Today we’re rewatching the 1998 movie Ever After directed by Andy Tennant and starring Drew Barrymore and Angelica Houston. Okay, just like right off the top, I have to say Angelica Houston slays in this role, and is one of my ultimate icons because of Morticia Addams, like of all time, but I thought she was a very good evil character in this movie. I loved her. 

Emma: Yeah, she’sone of those actors that I think of as like a character actor, because I do feel like she does a lot of villains or just like more severe roles, but then you can tell she can just act. She’s just a good actor. But I do think of her as some of the things like Mortica Addams.

Elsie: Yeah, she’s in a Wes Anderson movie. 

Emma: She’s amazing. 

Elsie: Yes, she’s an icon. I mean Drew Barrymore is too, but Angelica Houston, I feel like is my number one. 

Emma: I hadn’t really watched this in quite a while too. And I was just like, how young is Drew Barrymore? I usually am not googling like actors names right away, but I was like, I have to know. She looks like a child to me.

Elsie: How old was she? 

Emma: She’s 23. She’s a baby. She was 23 when it came out. So she was probably 22 when they were filming. 

Elsie: So you know how back in the day on our about page of our blog, we had all of our team do their crushes, their celebrity crushes. I remember one of the men who we worked with at one point put Drew Barrymore in Ever After. And I always remember that and I got it. I was thinking about it when I was watching her especially with like her glitter face and I was like, okay, I do you get it. She’s just like, so radiant and beautiful and just like magical and really unique in this movie. 

Emma: This is a very fun damsel in distress slash damsel who’s pushing back the whole time, you know? It’s a very fun character. Very fun take on Cinderella. Love it. So I guess we should describe the movie if anyone hasn’t seen Ever After then you just heard that it’s kind of a Cinderella story. So it’s if Cinderella was a true story, it would be very much like Ever After. Danielle’s father dies when she is young and her stepmother makes her work as a servant. One day Danielle pretends to be a courtier. Is that how you say it? 

Elsie: Courtier

Emma: You can tell I’m very Midwestern.  Courtier to help a fellow servant escape from being taken to the Americas. I believe as a slave. She captures the eye of the most unlikely person the Crown Prince of France, Henry. The two fall in love, but they are up against Daniels ruthless stepmother and her spoiled stepsisters, mainly one stepsister. One of them is actually pretty nice. However, with a servant’s help Danielle’s kind stepsister, Jacqueline, and Leonardo da Vinci, at danielle’s side. Danielle and Prince Henry’s love can survive even though he’s a prince and she’s just a servant girl.

Elsie: It’s incredible. 

Emma: So it’s a Cinderella story more or less.

Elsie: Yes, a tell as old as time, but with Leonardo da Vinci. Which I thought that was a nice touch. It’s very unhinged. And I like the painting. I’ll probably talk about like eight times the episode. The painting was one of my favorite parts of the whole movie. It’s really magical. After I started Googling the Mona Lisa and like looking at I was like, does Drew Barrymore look exactly like the Mona Lisa or what? Like, she kind of does. So I feel like she has that like classical oil painting look in this movie. 

Emma: I agree. DaVinci in this movie, his character, him being in at all is unhinged. And just like his relationship with the prince and just things he does. He’s also to me like the funniest character has the best one liners. So it’s a blast. 

Elsie: It’s fun. I would definitely say it hold up. Although I think for me, it was best enjoyed in the 1990s but I still think it’s a wonderful classic. I do have to say just like I put it up on the same shelf with the Brandy Cinderella. I think that Brandy Cinderella is still my number one but they’re, you know, almost the same, but also very different because that’s a musical and this isn’t. So anyway, I guess that’s just like choose your own adventure.

Emma: This one’s a little more they’re trying to do more of a period piece. Yeah, that one’s more of a Disney musicial.

Elsie: This one’s trying to be like a Jane Austen Cinderella.

Emma: Yes. Yeah, I would say so. So if you like that kind of period piece feel. I think then this is your Cinderella. 

Elsie: Yeah, I love them both. So decor inspiration we loved, hated, strong reactions. So I will say this movie was not as much of a decor banger as I was expecting it to be. I thought it was very beautiful. But I also kind of thought it was like pretty cliche. It was like, you could have used the same sets for like any movie from like A Knight in Shining Armor period like type of vibe. 

Emma: There was also a lot more time spent outdoors. Then I remembered, like there’s less time inside palaces or inside country manners or whatever. So there’s a lot of just like being out in the woods. And there’s a lake and cliffs and different things like that. So, which is cool, but not really really any decor to speak of.

Elsie: Yeah, the decor is good. But I will say though, for me, the thing that was way above the decor was the fashion in this movie. So specifically makeup and hair. Yeah, the hair pieces, so they have like a lot of kneaded hair pieces that are like so cool. I want to try to get one of my daughters to do a costume like that like a period princess because I think that she would really like it. And I just like really liked those knitted hair pieces. So I want to get one and then the part at the end, obviously when she’s wearing the wings, and she has like jewels glued on her face, and she has like almost her whole face is covered in glitter. And she’s like, very powdery white. It’s like a vibe. Like I’ve never seen another look like that. It was very original. And it was definitely to me the main moment of the whole movie. 

Emma: I feel like a lot of people probably tried to do that kind of vibe for their prom because it was just this like moment.

Elsie: I should have it. I’m not even gonna say what my prom looks were but they were so bad compared to that. And I really really blew it.

Emma: I had one fairy one, but I didn’t go this fairy length so really messed up on that. 

Elsie: We did senior pictures of Emma where she was wearing fairy wings. So I did want to talk about the fairy wings because I feel like with this movie and Romeo and Juliet, it’s like fairy wings are the ultimate 90s iconic thing. I don’t know. It was like a moment in time.

Emma: I also feel like butterflies were such a thing in the 90s too. So something about wings. People were into delicate wings. It was the era for that in the 90s. DaVinci makes her wings because He says I’ll have to make the wings. Presumably he makes them for her right before the ball.

Elsie: He is the best character. 

Emma: Yeah, he is. 

Elsie: Oh, his little art studio. That was very, very beautiful part of the movie. I can’t say there was like a room that like threw me other than the party at the end where she like comes in and it’s mainly because of her outfit. So it’s mainly because of the fashion. And I think the art studio was probably my other favorite. 

Emma: I did like her farmhouse. They show the exterior of it a lot. They’re inside it for some scenes, like there’s breakfast scene where you see like their dining room and things like that. But you actually see the exterior of it a lot more as she’s like, feeding the pigs and like in the very beginning when her father’s riding away and he has his I guess heart attack or something where he passes. And I liked seeing that. It’s very like that look that people are kind of into right now the lime wash kind of wall vibe, where it’s all one color but it looks weathered. It was very cottage core. I mean, it is a cottage. It’s a farmhouse in France, I guess. And so I thought that was really pretty, but not really anything to speak of like, I would definitely vacation somewhere like that. It looks like a very, like relaxing place to read a book, hang out.

Elsie: Get eggs from chickens. 

Emma: Yeah, that’d be cool. 

Elsie: Live on the land. I like it. It is very beautiful. I mean, I don’t know, I think that that’s a funny thing about period movies is that like the poor people houses and the rich people houses are kind of equal because the poor people houses are so aesthetically pleasing.

Emma: Yeah, well, and also, this is so random, but I’m very into kitchens. And I think most people are and I think like a kitchen is, I mean, almost every Nancy Meyer movies we’ve talked about on here, or just generally we talked about the kitchen for a long time. And they either usually don’t show a kitchen because it’s like where the servants prepare the food. The main characters usually don’t hang out in the kitchen. It’s not like the heart of the home like it is in modern times as people cook for themselves. If you have servants, then you never go into your kitchen. So I feel like you just don’t see spaces that feel homey, if that makes any sense. Because it’s just a whole different way of life presumably. I’m not really a historian. I’m basing this off fictional movies and books. So I think that’s part of the problem is I’m like well, I want to see like how you made your fridge look cute, but that’s not a part of this era of time. It’s just not going to be part of this, you know, and I don’t really want to see like a pot boiling over a fireplace like that’s cool but it’s not to me like, oh, that’s inspiring decor that inspires my kitchen. I’m like, no, I have a stove. Like, you know, it’s just so different. So I think that there’s like, kind of a disconnect there with period piece movies where like, there’s not the same thing to appreciate because it’s just a different way of life. 

Elsie: That’s true. When I had to explain to my kids that people just don’t have servants anymore, it’s just not a thing that’s done because it’s in all the princess movies. So they didn’t understand that.

Emma: Like, well, you can pay someone to help you with certain services., like cleaning your home. But that’s not a servant and you don’t call them that.

Elsie: Yeah, times have changed. Okay, so back on track. Is there any other cozy inspiration that really like vibes you in this movie?

Emma: I think so. In addition to the kind of hair nets that you were talking about the kind of like they have like little pearls.

Elsie: Braids, a lot of good braid and a lot of puffy headbands that are iconic.

Emma: I thought, if you want some braid inspiration, this movie is there for you. Because there’s a lot of up dos that are sometimes messy, like she’s gonna go work in the field. And sometimes they’re like going to a ball. So there’s a lot of like, different hairstyles that I thought were very inspiring if you’re a long hair gal. 

Elsie: I wonder if that was Drew Barrymore’s real hair not because it was so long too. 

Emma: I assume it’s extensions. They’d be so much easier to braid but I don’t know. Beats me.

Elsie: Yeah, I want one of those dresses. But I feel like there’s just not enough occasions in life to wear Renaissance clothes if you’re not interested in going to a renaissance fair. You just want to wear the dress. You know, it’s a little hard.

Emma: When does it come up? I agree. No problem. 

Elsie: I like those like aprony looking dresses, you know, with like the underdress. Those are really cute to me. 

Emma: Yeah. Kind of a corset type top. It’s a look. 

Elsie: Ah, yeah. And like the one that has like it had like, open elbows. Do you know what I’m talking about? It was one of the Angelica Houston dresses. Yeah, her black dress is like I think it was my favorite dress in the whole movie. And she was wearing it quite a bit. It was like a black velvet. You’ll see it when you watch the movie. I was mostly into the clothes. Not gonna lie.

Emma: Yeah, clothes, makeup hair. I was very into all that. There’s quite a few jewelry. There’s like brooches and necklaces that are kind of part of the story. Those were fun and felt very like stuff you would see at a flea market. You know, I don’t know, very enjoyable. There’s one scene to where she’s like in her underwear. I think they’ve gone swimming, I guess but  she’s still basically wearing like a gown. 

Elsie: Very covered up underwear.

Emma: Yeah. 

Elsie: I don’t remember that. 

Emma: It’s the scene where the gypsies capture them. And they’re like Drew Barrymore, you can take anything you can carry. And then she takes the prince and they all laugh and then they become friends. Which is my favorite scene in the movie because it is such a funny and daring thing to do. Yeah, but she’s wearing this like hilarious underwear that looks awful, because it’s basically a gown tied around her weird.

Elsie: I think that that kind of stuff would be scary.

Emma: Seems like a lot of laundry. 

Elsie: I love modern underwear. You know what I mean? It just like does the job, to the point. Like, no extra stuff under there. Okay. So before we do the rating, I do have to do an impression of the ending because I finished it this morning by the way, I do that almost every time.

Emma: I show up and she’s finishing the movie, always. It’s like 9am And I’m like, wow, you really leave this till the last second. 

Elsie: I do and this one, I actually watched most of this with my kids. But then, you know, there was like 30 minutes left or something. So I got to watch the good part this morning. Because the last 30 minutes I do feel like is kind of like 75% of what is aesthetically pleasing about the movie. So anyway, this is my impression. So first of all, he’s like, in love with her. And he’s like, who is this mysterious, beautiful, magical woman and he’s like, mom, I don’t want to marry anyone else except for her. And she’s like, okay, fine, but she’s already engaged. So, anyway, when he thinks he has to marry the wrong person, and he’s about to announce it. Then she walks in and she’s wearing her beautiful white gown with the wings and the jewels. And she’s like, I really have to tell you something, and he’s like, whatever it is, it’ll be fine. 

Emma: Which is a real gamble, when the person you love says I really need to tell you something. You should maybe listen, like what is it he has to say.

Elsie: He’s like, I’m gonna marry her. And the evil stepmother is like she’s, what do they call it? She’s a servant, actually. And he’s like, ewww actually you’re servant. What? Nevermind. And that to me was like, I’m sorry, but you’re not forgiven. You’re not forgiven five minutes later when you want to marry her. 

Emma: If we’re gonna do some script critiques. Here’s the thing. This guy sucks. The entire movie. She’s like, well, so you read Utopia, but you’re still a dick. And he’s like, oh, yeah, definitely, I’m a prince. That’s most of their falling in love dialog is she’s like, don’t you think that everyone should have rights? And he’s like, ewww no, I’m a prince and other people are commoners. And I guess she’s into that. I guess. I can see why he likes her. He feels challenged and no one else challenges him in his life, probably because he’s a prince. So he’s like, oh, this is interesting conversation. But for her, I’m like, why do you like this guy? He seems like an absolute dick. Like, every conversation you have with him. You’re like telling him what a dick he is and he truly is saying some like, not cool stuff. And then when he finds out, she’s a servant. He’s a dick. And I’m like, that’s not surprising. This whole movie, he was doing this whole time. So yeah, this is kind of, you know, DaVinci had a lot more faith in him than I think I would have. I would have been like, I don’t know DaVinci I think he’s gonna be a dick when he finds out about the servant thing.  And he was. I thought you were gonna do an impression of the wedding scene. He’s about to marry the princess of Spain. I think I can’t remember what country, the crying.

Elsie: That was an amazing scene because he lets her get all the way up there. I mean, they really drag it out. And then he’s just like ha na. 

Emma: He just laughed. You have to see like, I’m not going to do an impression. But I cannot imagine that actresses audition, because she doesn’t have any other lines. That’s your audition scene, there’s no other lines. So that’s what she came in to do one day in an office was this crazy crying for like a solid probably like three minutes walking down an aisle with a veil over her. She’s crying because she was in love with someone else and he realizes I’m in love with someone else. It’s this funny scene, but her crying is hilariously ridiculous. And I thought you’re gonna do that? 

Elsie: Oh,yeah. No, it was 1990s gold. I feel like it hit the right comedy marks of the era. , I thought it was beautiful gorgeous, beautiful gorgeous. So I’m just gonna give it five out of five crowns. I basically don’t give any movie that comes on our podcast for a complete episode like less than that.

Emma: I’d give it four. 

Elsie: Because the guy’s a dick too much.

Emma: Because the guy’s a dick too much. 

Elsie: They could have made him redeeming but I don’t feel like they usually put that kind of effort into the prince characters. 

Emma: I mean, they give him the whole like, he’s like, I’m gonna make a university that’s free for anyone. But then he’s still a dick to her when he finds out she’s a servant. So I’m like I don’t know, man. That guy sucks. You could have done better Drew Barrymore. I know he’s a prince but you could have better. You could have been like, DaVinci, do you have any nephews? 

Elsie: Yeah, okay. That’s an idea. 

Emma: Seems like a fun family to hang out with for the holidays. 

Elsie: Wow. Oh my gosh. Yeah, that’s fun to imagine. They should do another movie that’s just about him because I do want a DaVinci movie now but with that exact character. 

Emma: Yeah, he was good.

Elsie: Trivia Time. One of the few adaptations that depicts one member of the step family as being sympathetic to Cinderella, or Danielle in this film, is this version. Jacqueline is rather friendly with Danielle compared to her abusive sister and mother. Yeah, that’s why in the end, she doesn’t have to become a cleaning lady or whatever their punishment is. She gets to just like, be happy and be normal.

Emma:  She wants to marry that other guy who’s like the prince’s right hand man or something. I don’t know. 

Elsie: Yeah, she gets to get married and have a happy life because she was a little bit nice.

Emma: I thought she was pretty nice. She clearly doesn’t really have any power in her family. So it’s difficult to affect change with no power.

Elsie: Good point. 

Emma: I think that she, you know, made it clear her feelings towards Daniella. I thought was pretty good. I thought she deserved to not be a cleaning lady like the other two. 

Elsie: Good. Yeah. That was sweet. Okay. 

Emma: As depicted in the film, the real Leonardo DaVinci kept the Mona Lisa with him all the time until his death. Interesting. I love it. I can’t think about being like so into one piece of art that you’re working on that you just keep it all the time. I’m a very like, finisher. You know what I mean? I’m very like I’m done with this. I’m sick of this. I like get tired and once I’m done with something I like want to move on. It’s interesting to think about like, kind of perfecting something or just maybe he wasn’t even painting on it. He was just keeping it until his death. Interesting. 

Elsie: Maybe he just loved it. I like that. It’s just a personal attachment. Yeah, it’s interesting. In the Gypsy scene where Danielle carries off Prince Henry, he was just too heavy for her to carry. So the crew had to put the actor in a harness with wires to make it look like she was carrying him off. That’s funny. I couldn’t tell.

Emma: I think I could lift up my husband the way she does. She puts in like kind of over her shoulder. I don’t think I could lift Jeremy. He’s quite a bit taller.

Elsie: I’m going to try it now. I’m going to try. Now I’m just curious.

Emma: She doesn’t walk that far. I mean, presumably in the movie, she would have to walk further. But like what they show the audience is not too far. I don’t know how tall that actor was compared to Drew Barrymore or anything like that. It’s not a criticism of Drew Barrymore or her strength. I’m just like, huh, I wonder if I could pick up my husband. I’m like, I think I could but it would be hard.

Elsie: What if you could do it, but you were making like horrible faces the whole time? Because that’s probably how I’ll be. It’s like, yeah, you can technically do it, but I wouldn’t want to do it on camera. 

Emma:  I’m like, I could do it but I’m six months pregnant right now.  So give me a little bit not right now. In the original Grimm version, this step mother and daughter had their eyes picked out by birds. In this version, the set mother and daughter are forced to work in a laundry type place. Usually, these places they use lie of soap and after prolonged use would cause blindness in the laundry. It’s really sad. 

Elsie: I guess they’re saying that it’s like sort of the same outcome or like a little nod to the original but without the pecking. That’s weird. I don’t know. I do think I love the like, true trivia about how fairy tales are like, very messed up. I think it’s very, like fun and cool. And like, I don’t know, it’s kind of vibe. It kind of makes the old days seem Vibier than you usually think of them as well. 

Emma: If you’ve ever, like been working on your book, and you’re like, oh, is this too offensive? I’m not trying to be. I don’t wanna shock everyone. And then you read something like this. And you’re like, the Brothers Grimm didn’t care. They’re just gonna say, you know, it’s like, whoa dude, you really went there. 

Elsie: Yeah. And it’s supposed to be for children. I think  that’s delightful, in a way, you know, it’s fun. Okay, one of the few Cinderella stories where the Prince and the Cinderella character in this case named Danielle get to know each other and fall in love over time before the ball, rather than the love at first sight at the ball itself. I like that. I think I think that falling in love at the ball is like kind of boringer than this. 

Emma: Yeah, we kind of already mentioned the 90s Romeo and Juliet  adaptation because the wings, and they do the whole fall in love at first sight, which is, I think part of the play too. Although do they have the balcony scene and then they fall in love? I think they do fall in love at first sight in the real Shakespeare version. Anyway. Yeah, I think either way, you kind of have some things you’re up against as a story writer or person making the film film director whatever you’re doing, you know, because again, I kind of feel like he’s such a dick every time they talk in this movie that I’m like, why did  Danielle like him? Almost feel like love for sight would have made some more sense until you hear him talk and you’re like, oh God, this guy. 

Elsie: Huh? Boo. 

Emma: Boo. Okay, moving on. The only Cinderella story where the Cinderella character in this case, Danielle is not the only servant kept in the house. There are three other servants who stay Maurice, who Danielle bought him back, Louise and Paulette. In most Cinderella stories, the stepmother gets rid of all the other servants and only keeps the Cinderella character to use as a slave to do the work.

Elsie: I mean, I think that makes more sense than selling candlesticks to pay your mortgage. So I don’t know. But it’s probably just like nice having more characters. 

Emma: I feel like it gave her people to talk to and like situations. I think they also free her before the ball. So it’s like, if they hadn’t been there, there would have been some difficult, she would had to figure that out. You know, she would have had to Rapunzel herself out the window or something. I don’t know. So yeah, there’s that. I will say though it’s kind of interesting to think about, she was like I got rid of all the other servants except Cinderella for money reasons. I’d be like that’s actually in some ways, as weird as it sounds a small like little bit of mercy, because Cinderella couldn’t have been the best servant. She grew up kind of privileged, so she probably wasn’t the best cleaner. So she would have been keeping her because she was the stepdaughter, you know, as opposed to keeping whoever would have been the most experienced quality servant. So in a way, it would be like showing a bit of mercy just to keep her.

Elsie: I think that she, like, I don’t think she was really showing mercy though because I remember when she said like, did you ever love me? And she was like, I don’t know, do I love a rock in my shoe? I think she just was like, well, I have to keep this stepdaughter who I don’t love anyway, so I guess I’ll just make her a servant. 

Emma: I think in this version, they’re trying to show us too that she did really love the father. The stepmother really loves the father. And like his dying words is that he loves his daughter. I think she’s feels some kind of jealousy. They kind of show it on the actresses face. Angelica Houston does this kind of look where you’re like, oh, she’s a bit jealous here.  I think they’re trying to give us some kind of impression like that, which is like being jealous of a child is obviously stupid. But, you know, I think that’s what they’re kind of trying to do. She felt a competition with her stepdaughter.

Elsie: That makes sense. Okay, well, I love the movie. Lots of famous people. I think it’s definitely a fun rewatch, if you haven’t seen it since the 90s. I don’t think I had seen it, definitely in more than 10 years, but I’ve maybe seen it once since the 90s. So it was fun to like, see how it held up to my imagination. For some reason. It was like a lot different in my memory. Like I remembered it very differently. So and I have no idea why. Just like the way it looked.

Emma: Yeah, had definitely been well for me, because I was like, how old is Drew Barrymore? Is she even out of high school in this movie? I was like, okay, she’s 23. 

Elsie: She was a child actor. 

Emma: Yeah, I was like, is she 18 in this movie? She looks so young. Yeah, she’s 23. 

Elsie: Amazing. So it’s time for Nova’s joke or fact. Hey, Nova, what do you have for us this week?

Nova: A meditation. 

Emma: All right. I’m closing my eyes. 

Nova: Imagine you just got onto a plane. You draw on your pad of paper. You take some deep breaths. And suddenly, we’re here. You go out. And you see Florida. You go and book a room at a hotel. Stay and go to the beach. You order some ice cream. Sit on a lounge chair and watch the waves up down. Then you go back to the hotel, sleep. The next morning you get some room service. Imagine what you’re going to eat. It tastes good. Then you have some lunch. How about an ice cream sundae to round it off. And then you go back, you see dolphins. Then you see a starfish. Then you quickly get up and you search for some seashells. Then, suddenly you trip on a beautiful seashell. You put it in your bag and keep on walking. You see some crabs digging in the sand. You dig up some clams. Then you go back to your hotel. What a day. You sleep for the last time, pack up your bags, go back home and take the picture out that you secretly had all along and you forgot something. That your friends are with you all along. 

Elsie: Love it. That was my favorite one. So relaxed. 

Nova: Now open your eyes. And first before I go. Let’s take three deep breaths one more time. Remember, always take deep breaths when you need them. They will help you be calm enough. And remember, every time I do a meditation first, we’re gonna do at least three breaths before we do it. Bye.

Elsie: Thank you so much for listening. If you have a comfort rewatch movie you would like us to talk about it, you can submit it at podcast@abeautifulmess.com or call our voicemail at 417-893-0011. We will be back next week with a deep dive into art.

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Show Notes:

Nova’s Girl Scout Cookies

Thoughts on Easter:

Elsie: It’s the most challenging holiday to decorate for

Emma: Thinks of it more as the start of spring instead of a Christian holiday

Easter traditions from childhood:

Going to church, Easter egg hunt in their grandma’s backyard, and opening Easter baskets first thing in the morning

Easter traditions with your kids:

Elsie – Easter baskets with an outfit and a toy, hosting an Easter egg hunt

Emma – Easter baskets with a new swimsuit, a book, and candy

Make Laura’s Peep Jello Shots

Check out our Easter blog posts

Here’s our post on Childhood Magic about Easter Books and Activities

Favorite Easter candy:

Elsie – Reese’s Egg

Emma – Cadbury Mini Eggs

How do you decorate for Easter:

Elsie – She doesn’t

Emma – Garland, wooden egg that has Oscar’s footprint on it

Guilty Pleasure Treasure:

Elsie – Urban Outfitters Ballet Flats and Sam Edleman Ballet Flats

Emma – Dolce Vita Sandals

Check out Created Colorful

Miss an Episode? Get Caught Up!

• Episode #224: It’s Spring Bucket List Time!
• Episode #223: Buying Furniture for Your Home – Deep Dive
• Episode #222: Hook – Comfort Rewatch

Episode 225 Transcript:

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Emma: You’re listening to the A Beautiful Mess podcast your cozy comfort listen. Easter is this Sunday. So we are talking about Easter traditions, things we grew up with, how we’re planning to celebrate this year, all things Easter. 

Elsie: Yeah, I have so many good memories of we had like an Easter egg hunt at our grandma’s house growing up. And it was arranged by age. So I always had to go last like I was the last. 

Emma: She’s the oldest. 

Elsie: Cuz I’m the oldest cousin, which is totally unfair. 

Emma: They should have arranged it by athleticism because our cousin Andy’s younger than us, but he’s very athletic. 

Elsie: That’s true. Yeah. So anyway, getting ahead of ourselves, but I do think that it’s a very sweet holiday. And I love doing Easter baskets for our kids. And I’m excited this year to like one up it with the thing we’re gonna do. 

Emma: I agree. Yes. So let’s talk about childhood, which we’re kind of diving into already and just general thoughts on Easter. So personally, we grew up Evangelical Christian, we have some past episodes about that. So growing up, Easter was a very religious holiday to me. But now personally, I just think if it is more like celebrating Spring, I don’t really subscribe to the He is risen part of it personally. But I love celebrating Spring. And I also love celebrating grace, which I think is another way to look at the holiday. You know, love generally good message anytime of year, I’ll do it for Christmas. We’ll do it for Easter. I don’t care when love is great. Yeah. So I’m a big fan of that. I also love deviled eggs. So I take it back Easter is religious in that way because deviled eggs are so delicious but yeah, growing up, I feel like the big tradition was grandma’s Easter egg hunt in her backyard, going to church at Grandma’s church.  And then our parents would do Easter baskets. And I feel like we would open them before church like it was when you first woke up. And the main one I remember as I was getting older, like I was kind of like a preteen, but my parents were still doing it because they’re just sweet and the best and I got these like wedge heels that I really wanted. This is so 90s, that were like clear, but they had like a dried flower in them. So you could see the dried flower in the wedge heel. They were very like Clueless meets boho, I guess. I don’t know. 

Elsie: Yeah, Emma had like a very good Clueless era in like sixth grade. She got all of the velvet clothes from Limited Too and yeah, like plastic jewelry, like the classic choker.

Emma: I could not walk in these shoes. So it was very sweet that my parents bought them for me. I could not walk in them. But I did. And I loved them. And I still remember them to this day. And it was like in my Easter basket. Such a little like teenager preteen thing. 

Elsie: Okay, let’s talk about Easter baskets because, yeah, so same for me. It’s not like a religious holiday. Obviously, It’s a pastel holiday. Okay, so my general thoughts on Easter are that it’s really hard to decorate forb ecause I think it’s like, okay, please don’t be mad. I think it’s the ugliest holiday decorations out of all the holidays because it’s pastels. Pastels aren’t usually my like, number one. And also it’s like just you know, the carrots and the eggs. And it’s not that it’s not cute, but I feel like it’s hard to make it fit with the style that I like. So I think the nice way, say just the most challenging. There are I mean, for sure if I kept trying I’m sure there’s like a way, but I haven’t found it yet. Okay, Easter baskets. So in 2020, the Easter of a lifetime. We set the bar high for ourselves, which I think that a lot of people did. 

Emma: What else was there to do? 

Elsie: Like yeah, it was right when the pandemic started. So we did like scooters from the Easter Bunny, and I feel like it was a curse. 

Emma: I’m thinking about doing a scooter so let’s dive into this. 

Elsie: Don’t make it from the Easter Bunny. Don’t make the Easter Bunny bring giant big Christmas level presents. I would say just keep the basket and then just get the scooter from yourself on a regular day. Because then every year you have to be on that level. I set the bar too high but I already did it. So I’m already cursed. You don’t have to be it’s your choice. But I do like a spread. And it’s like just on the dining room table. That’s how our mom did it. So usually I just give them each like an outfit and then the basket and then maybe like some kind of toy. Like the scooters were obviously like an exceptional thing that like fit with 2020 because we were trying to find things to do. Every year now I’m like trying really hard to like live up to that standard. 

Emma: You have to do a scooter every year.  I will say I think my kids young enough he might not really register. I might get a pass this year. I’m running low on those years with him. But yeah, Easter baskets. Yeah, we got to do the same thing. Like he gets his swimsuit. He gets a new swimsuit. He usually gets a book and it’s usually like a Spring themed or Easter themed book. Then some kind of candy but my kids on a big candy eater, so I really don’t go hard on the candy because it’s not his thing really. 

Elsie: I think it’s good to just do like a little bit of candy because you already have the eggs, if you do any kind of egg hunt, you already have so much candy. Okay, so protip put real carrots in your basket and your kids will like freaking love it. It’s so cute. Especially if you can find like, you know at the health food store, the ones that still have the green stems? It’s so authentic. Okay, so, Easter traditions from childhood, who already talked about Easter egg hunt. And we have like a big church childhood. So I feel like Easter is a little weird for me. 

Emma: It was always a little scary. Because as a kid, it’s like, the sermons about the death and resurrection of Jesus. It was in our church. And, you know, it’s kind of what Easter is about for that type of Christianity. And that’s a scary story as a kid, so it’s very, I don’t know, I remember having a lot of mixed feelings on Easter to like that part of it was always like, I was like, I’m a little scared. 

Elsie: I have really complicated feelings on how to present it to my children. Because I feel like Christmas like the birth of Christ is really easy to present. And kind of honestly simple and I mean, it has the miracle thing, but it’s like not as much as this one. This one’s like, it’s very confusing how to present it to children, since I’m like, a first generation religiously gray person. So I don’t know. It’s confusing. But anyway, for everyone else who has any kind of like religious trauma from your childhood. We’re with you on Easter making the best of it too. We see you, we feel it. You know, it’s confusing. Okay. I will say though, to make this light hearted. On our blog, Laura made peeps jello shots. She’s made like 100 jello shots, but they are the cutest jello shot I’ve ever seen. They’re so cute. So we have an Easter tab on the blog right now. So it’s at the top of the page. You can see it’s honestly not that many posts, but like there’s some really good ones.

Emma: There’s some good ones. There’s like little decor things wreathes and garland’s and things like that. 

Elsie: There’s a bunny wreath that’s really cute. So yeah, I think if you can decorate for Easter, you can decorate for anything. 

Emma: Yeah, I like making like some kind of seasonal cookie for any occasion. I just like having something to celebrate. So we have some cookie recipes, but even just making like the classic sugar cookies and decorating them like bunnies or carrots or eggs or whatever you want for spring or do you want them to be crosses or whatever? Whatever you want, man. Sugar Cookies are delicious. So holidays are a time make them in my opinion. 

Elsie: No, I think that’s a great idea. Okay, so the Easter tradition for our kids. So we already talked about baskets. It’s like kind of the main one but this year I am starting a new tradition. We’re going to host an Easter egg hunt. And I was like Jeremy can we host an Easter egg roll like the White House and he was like which White House. I was like the White House and he said which White House in our neighborhood. I said the house where Joe Biden lives. But I don’t think he knew about it. But the White House has like a, it’s like a children’s tradition of an Easter egg hunt in the front yard that’s like really, really elaborate. And it was like let’s like do a miniature version of that. And like you know, invite our friends, invite people in the neighborhood, maybe the kids classmates, and I also want to do like a brunch. So I think that’ll be really fun. I’m really looking forward to it. Something to like, kind of try to edge me into decorating for Easter. Because you know in my basement I have like three or four shelves Christmas, three or four shelves Halloween and if I could even have one, not a full shelf, but one like ledge that was all Easter that would be like a lot. 

Emma: I have one brown grocery bag of Easter stuff and it’s not even full all the way. 

Elsie: I feel like essentially haven’t started at all like I’m really averse about the color scheme and I just don’t know how to make it work for me but there has to be a way. 

Emma: Here’s what I think okay, you either go like more realistic colors like actual colors of eggs so like white and brown and then carrots like a Martha Stewart way. You go like spring, actual colors of nature, spring stuff, or you go the pastel route. Then you can do more cartoon bunnies and things like that.

Elsie: That’s a good idea. I think I’m definitely gonna go the first one. 

Emma: Because I think mixing the two is tough, because they don’t really make sense. It’s like, I don’t know, they just don’t go together. 

Elsie: I think I just like can’t do the like, cartoony part of it. 

Emma: Yeah, I understand to about the not pastels not being like the most exciting thing, but I will say ever since I got my colors done for like my personal style we did Created Colorful. We got our readings and I am a late Spring, early Spring. But I’m a pastel. Like lavenders kind of one of my number one colors for wearing. I just have a lot more clothes now that are honestly kind of Easter colors. And I never thought I would like those colors. But now that I have them more in my wardrobe and in my life I think of them differently. And I think once you start decorating it where you’re liking it, it becomes less cheesy. That’s a whole trick. 

Elsie: What do you think if it was like goth Easter? 

Emma: Yeah, goth Easter sounds fun to me. Yeah, I’ve done some like footprint handprint art with my kids for Easter like Easter bunnies and different you know, things like that. I think those are really fun, too. 

Elsie: Yeah, that’s a good idea.  I think maybe I could lean in on the kids craft or I could lean in on like, the more non commercial Easter stuff. Yeah, maybe I don’t know. Well, I’m gonna figure this out because I have like two weeks notice. And it is happening. But yeah, I’m excited to host something and I don’t know it is inspired by the White House. But I’m also joking. 

Emma: I think hosting an Easter egg con is not like a crazy only the White House does it thing.  Yeah, I think it’s fun. 

Elsie: It’s just like the only thing I know of that’s not a church thing that is like a big Easter thing. I think that it’s coming through that I’m clueless about Easter. So if anyone has suggestions, it’s a little late now, but send them to me anyways. I just want to know. Yeah, I think I do want to have like a little bit of decor and a little bit of a commitment because it’s fun for kids. And it is like one of the only holidays this time of year so might as well optimize that. 

Emma: Now that I know you’re hosting like a brunch with it, I now have excuse to buy one of those deviled egg plates, which I’ve been putting off because I don’t make deviled eggs that often. So now I’m definitely gonna buy one of those plates because it’ll just make it easier to travel.

Elsie: I’m gonna try to make the jello shots. They are so much work, but like, they’re probably not. I don’t know. I’ve never made jello shots before. Are they though? Are they a lot of work? 

Emma: I can’t remember if she did a cookie cutter or a mold with them. The cookie cutters are a little harder. 

Elsie: They look like molds to me. 

Emma: Mold is way easy. Okay, you can do it.  Never compare yourself to Laura though. She is perfect. Just do your best. 

Elsie: She’s so talented.  Okay. Well, it’s an exciting time to try something new. And I’m just like praying. It’s a very Easter thing to say.  I’m just like, hoping and manifesting that my flowers will bloom. Will they bloom? Will they? Will they? Will they? Will they? Will they?I hope so. 

Emma: Okay, the only other tradition with kids that I wanted to mention was, so we do seasonal books for every season. So I do like pulling out our like Spring and Easter theme books around this time of year. Just to have something new to read at bedtime. And we also read them other times the day anytime Oscar wants to read a book, we read a book, but we always read books at bedtime. And so it’s kind of fun. We have a few that are like about a dog finding easter eggs. I can’t remember them all off the top of my head, but they’re really cute and it’s fun. And none of ours are religious. But I just think it’s fun to have something new to read and think about the seasons and talk about the seasons. We have all four seasons here. So Oscar having like stuff about that, I think is really fun. 

Elsie: Yes, we have a whole post about children’s Easter books on Childhood Magic, so we can link that in the show notes if you’re interested in any. It’s cute. 

Emma: Okay, next up, very important, what is your favorite Easter candy for yourself? 

Elsie: Okay. For me, it’s like the same answer on every holiday but like the Reese’s seasonal like the little shaped one so I think they’re an egg for Easter. What are they at Christmas? A tree. Then at Halloween, a pumpkin. 

Emma: They do a football around Super Bowl time too.

Elsie: That is like my favorite kind of Reese’s period. Like I just think it’s like the most proportionally peanut buttery one. So that’s my favorite. 

Emma: I personally love Cadbury mini eggs. It’s a hard shell on the outside.

Elsie: We were eating those in bed last weekend. 

Emma: Yeah, we were and milk chocolate on the inside. And I’m normally not a big milk chocolate person. I’m not against it. I just tend to buy more dark chocolate if I’m eating chocolate, even baking, usually use dark chocolate. But there’s something about the Cadbury mini eggs. I love them. Once they’re out for Easter. I’m like always buy a bag. They’re just a little bit like better than M&Ms to me but similar. And they’re bigger. They’re bigger than an M&M too.

Elsie: Unless it’s peanut butter M&Ms. 

Emma: Oh yeah. Peanut butter. That’s all year round. So that’s not an Easter candy. 

Elsie: Yeah. I think that Easter candy is really cute though. And I’m excited to go to the store and buy like a billion eggs and fill them all up. So that’ll be fun. How do you decorate for Easter? Okay. I feel like I already said this. I’m scared of Easter. 

Emma: I have like a garland. And yeah, I did a little wooden a egg that Oscar did a footprint on. But I don’t really know what to do with it. I just kind of was like, oh, you know, so. I’m in the same boat. We don’t really have a whole lot of stuff. I would like to get a wreath for our door. 

Elsie: I’m gonna start it. Like I’m gonna start it. I’m gonna give it a try. Because I can just think of it as generally Spring two. And I don’t have a lot of that either. So I’m gonna give it a try. 

Emma: I think just making it spring. So it’s like, for Halloween, there’s a lot of stuff that’s just fall. It’s not even really Halloween. It’s just fall. So I think like doing Easter ias like it’s just Spring. I think make sense. Like do that. Kind of the same just without the pumpkins. Carrots instead of pumpkins.  

Elsie: I mean, I’m gonna make it work and make a little bit of decor. I think it will be fun. But I don’t know. I have no clue what to do. And we’ll have to get back on that part. I’m scared. I’m terrified. Well check back with us next year. We’re going to be Easter pros. We’re going to figure out this.

Emma: I’m excited for the Easter egg hunt. I think it’s gonna be really fun. 

Elsie: I’m excited too. 

Emma: Okay, next up, we’re doing guilty pleasure treasure.

Elsie: Guilty pleasure treasure! 

Emma: So mine is like a pair of shoes that I don’t really feel guilty about buying but I bought them like so fast from an Instagram ad. So that’s why like they fit into the guilty pleasure treasure category. Okay, so at the moment, I’m not buying a lot of clothes in life because I’m pregnant and nothing really fits. And I don’t really like to buy a ton of maternity clothes. It just feels kind of wasteful. So I kind of just make some of the clothes that I have. 

Elsie: What she means she doesn’t buy any maternity clothes though. 

Emma: I bought any a couple pairs of thrifted maternity jeans. And they work great because jeans are so different for maternity because they have the big belly band. It’s like they just come in like small, medium large or something. It’s like so different from regular jeans. Anyway, I’ve thrifted a few things and I’ve borrowed a few things from friends and I have some clothes that are kind of like bigger dresses that just keep fitting. I’ve stuff like that. But I also am kind of fine just wearing the same six outfits for a few months, because it just doesn’t feel worth it for me. Some people are different, that’s great, but I just don’t really care. So there you go. So anyway, but I was like, I could buy shoes because I definitely would like a few new pairs of summer sandals. Because I just don’t have a ton and also every summer I get that pretty embarrassing Birkenstock tan line because I wear the two strap Birkenstocks and I’ve gotten tons of walks in the Spring and Summer, I mean all year round, but I get kind of the tan line then. Sometimes gets so bad it feels like it last all year long. My Birkenstock tan line. So I was like alright, you need a few other different styles of sandals so that you can switch out the sandals and not get the same tan line. That’s good. So anyway, Instagram ads totally got me because I think it knew I was shopping for shoes because I was looking at different shoe sizes and so I think kind of knew I had my number. So I’m not 100% how to pronounce this brand but I think it’s Dolce Vita and they had the sandals that are kind of like the the strap style of like Tivas if you know what I’m talking about. They’re kind of like water shoes or like hiking shoes. But these are like, they’re just that strap style because Maidwell did this a few years ago too where it’s like it’s the strap style, but like the shape of it, but then they do it in like leather. So you can wear it with anything really. It’s like a more dressy version of an athletic wear. You know, like if you have ever seen tennis shoes, but they have a lot of glitter on them. And you’re like, you don’t really run in those, but you do wear them with your cool jeans out to buy groceries. I don’t know, whatever. So yeah, so they’re that kind of style, but it’s like tan leather that’s braided. So it’s braided straps. And the closure part is velcro, I believe which I kind of dig because part of the summer I’m going to barely be able to put on my shoes, so I probably should only wear slides. But I just wanted a pair that’s like easy to put on. you get where you can’t really reach your feet at the very end of the pregnancy. Someone helped me with my shoes. I can’t tie them. So anyway, I feel like they’re like $70 and they look like nice quality. They haven’t come in the mail yet. So I don’t really feel guilty about any of that. I just like bought them so fast when I saw them on Instagram, an Instagram ad because I was like that’s what I’m looking for.  

Elsie: Cute. Okay, I’m gonna do shoes too then because we’re on a shoe theme. So I am obsessed with the ballet flats trend. I’m really into it. I think that you know how sometimes it’s like a trend and you feel like it was like made for you. That’s how I feel about this one. But it just like makes so many options available all of a sudden. So yeah, it was like wearing them with yoga pants last weekend. Oh, like do whatever. But yeah, I got like a bunch of pairs of those. And they’re like a real high low, which is cool. I think the most inexpensive ones I have are from Urban Outfitters. I’ll link them if they’re still there. I got them a while ago. And then the more pricier ones that I got. They’re still not crazy. But they were Sam Edelman. And there’s like a bunch of good ones on there. So yeah, I think I’m really into that for Spring. Spring clothes are hard for me. I’m a fall like color type. And I’m also like a fall person in my soul and my core.  My mom used to take us shopping for like an Easter outfit, which is so fun. But like now I like feel traumatized when I like look at the racks of like pastel dresses, because I would like seriously put them on and it’s like I’ve never looked uglier in my life than when I put on spring clothes. It’s always been that way and I never knew why now I understand it a little bit more. So yeah, so this year, I’m buying Spring clothes, but they’re still like my colors like maroon and dark brown. Sundresses but they’re still my colors. So I think that it’s working too. I feel like a lot better. Like I get it. Actually let’s do an episode soon about the Created Colorful thing.

Emma: I feel like we have sold it to so many of our friends because we don’t shut up about it anytime we’re out shopping. 

Elsie: I’ll put the code in to this show notes. And I think we should do an episode about it because now we have like experience. Like if we talked about it when we first got the results like a year ago. I feel like that’s different from like now. Like I feel like it was life changing. Like really, really really worht it.  So anyway, goth Easter, and that is with ballet flats. That’s the thing. 

Emma: I love it. 

Elsie: Oh god okay, but yeah, I do think that like, when you find a trend that you like, and you can buy like it in every color, there’s like nothing better. It’s like the world catered to me for once right? 

Emma: I agree. Yeah, I do. And I also catch myself as I was buying my sandals, I kept like picking out sandals that I then would go to my closet and I was like you literally already own that. Like I think I’m kind of like a person who will very easily buy the same thing and not realize it if I haven’t worn it in a minute. I haven’t been wearing sandals because it’s been wintertime. i’m just pulling them out now so I’m like you know, I’m like oh don’t buy those you literally already have a pair very similar. What is wrong with you? So it took me a minute to be like what’s the thing you’re missing? And I like okay I need something that’s like kind of more of a tan color like for me kind of a flesh color. Anyway and I needed a strap that’s different from Birkenstock because that’s part of my problem is the tan lines. 

Elsie: I’m banishing myself from Birkenstocks this Summer because I just like wear them only for the entire summer so I’m just going to like actually throw them away. 

Emma: It’s easy to do. 

Elsie: Thank you so much for listening. We hope you have a wonderful Easter and we will be back next week with the comfort rewatch of Ever After. Oh my god. Okay, see you next week.

You can find the podcast posts archive here.

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Show Notes:

Nova’s Girl Scout Cookies

Click here to download and print your spring bucket list.

Emma’s Spring Bucket List:

-Clothes exchange

-Maternity photos

-Launch the Handmade Murder audiobook

-Oscar’s swim lessons

-Finish setting up nursery (Check out the wallpaper that Emma used in her kids’ bedrooms: Oscar’s room/Nursery)

-Fence and deck project

-Take Oscar to the zoo with his cousins

Elsie’s Bucket List:

-Walk every day

-Historic home tour – Sharing her art

-Get a whole bunch of tattoos

-Organize her basement, her closet, and her coat closet

-Prescheduling the entire summer of blog posts

-Being in her flower garden era

Rate The Only One Left by Riley Sager from 0 to 5 Houses falling off a cliff

Emma – 4

Elsie – 4

Miss an Episode? Get Caught Up!

• Episode #223: Buying Furniture for Your Home – Deep Dive
• Episode #222: Hook – Comfort Rewatch
• Episode #221: Finding Joy in the Little Things

Episode 224 Transcript:

​

Elsie: You’re listening to the Beautiful Mess Podcast, your cozy comfort listen. Spring starts this week, so it’s time for our annual spring bucket list. Plus we have our book report on The Only One Left by Riley Sager. 

Emma: Okay. And as a reminder, longtime listeners will know, but if you’re new here, We have bucket list printables on our website. You can also just write it on a piece of paper or make your own. But if you want to print one off, we have some and we can link them in the show notes and you can also just search them on our site. And they’re really cute and designed really cute. So if you’re wanting something to hang up in your home office or on your refrigerator or wherever you like to put these, then that’s fun. Okay, so let’s talk about some things that are on our spring bucket list. We’re just going to go back and forth. Okay, so my first one is, periodically, I host a clothing exchange at my house that’s like with my book club friends and really anyone that anyone wants to invite. It’s very open, whoever wants to come. But we just clean out our closets and exchange clothes and I’m kind of in this little phase of life where I’m getting extremely pregnant because I’m headed into the second half of my pregnancy. So clothes are not as exciting to me, but I like dreaming about it for the future. And I just love the feeling of cleaning out my closet. And it’s also really fun among our friends, like sometimes we’ll be wearing something and they’re like, that used to be mine or that kind of thing. And this time we’re adding puzzles, just because I can’t remember, but I was talking with someone in the group and they were like, we need to exchange puzzles because a lot of times once you do a puzzle, then it’s like you’re kind of ready to do a different one. You know what I mean? So we were like, oh, let’s exchange puzzles. So you can be like, I already did this puzzle. 

Elsie: I think it’s a brilliant idea because I really only enjoy doing a puzzle one time. So it makes sense to trade them around. 

Emma: Yeah. And it’s kind of just an excuse to hang out, but it’s definitely something that I do once or twice a year. So I was going to do one in the spring before baby time. 

Elsie: Okay. I’m going to clean out my closet in preparation because. My closet is so crazy and that’ll be a good motivator. 

Emma: Yeah, and then it’s fun to see friends wear stuff and anything that doesn’t get taken, I just donate it afterwards. 

Elsie: Cool. Okay, my first spring bucket list item is to take a walk every day. Yesterday, I started and I took our puppy, Pumpkin, who is, I guess she’s like closer to a year old now. I don’t know. I think her birthday might be in March. So she is ready to learn to walk. For a long time she wasn’t, but now she’s ready and she’s like, she’s into it. And our neighborhood’s just so cute. I feel like if I’m not taking walks on every nice day, then it’s sort of like a waste because it’s such a special, like cute place to take walks. And so anyway, doing it every day unless it snows. 

Emma: Yeah. No, that makes sense. Yeah, you can skip if it snows. It’s still might. Okay, the second one on my list is I’m going to make it a goal to get some maternity photos. So last time I was pregnant I did some maternity photos and I did like a few different looks and they’re really just something where I was just like Being pretty like just I would say like pretty portraits, but I was very pregnant and that was really fun And I ended up loving my favorite ones were those these ones where I’m wearing this like kind of tight black dress That’s like a black turtledeck. I feel like I look like a pregnant Steve Jobs. It’s really cool looking because it’s like a silhouette moment because I feel like when you’re pregnant, that’s kind of part of it, is there’s a real silhouette moment. Because your silhouette changes a lot because you have this baby growing in you. As far as I know, my husband and I’s plan is that this is our last kid. So this is my last time I will be pregnant. So there’s this little part of me that’s like, I’m pregnant. Honestly, I feel kind of too lazy to do this. I’m like, who cares? I’m not even going to use these photos for anything. I want to hire someone and we’re going to take time to do this. And I’m like, what am I even doing? But then there’s this other part of me that’s like, Emma, this is probably the last time you will ever be pregnant. Like that’s the plan. So you should do something. So I’m kind of looking around, I have some ideas of what I’d like to do and I have a friend I need to contact and see if she’ll do them for me because I feel like her style vibes with what I’m wanting to do. But yeah, that’s on my list of things that I’m like, you should make time for that. You won’t regret it. Even though I don’t know what I’ll use the photos for, probably nothing, but make the most. 

Elsie: Okay. I got invited to be in a historic home tour in May. This is so cool. So, I immediately said yes. She was like, wow, you said yes quickly. It’s perfect timing because I already know that I want to photograph the whole house around that time for the blog. And I promised, I don’t know when, when or where, but I know that at some point I promised that this summer I would do my home tour on the vlog. And also some posts about our paint colors and our wallpapers and just things that people ask about. So I am going to stage the entire home and then I’m going to photograph it. I’m going to schedule her like the day before the tour. And I think it’s keeping your house clean when you have little kids and dogs and stuff is a whole thing. So no, my entryway table every single day is like eight brushes, eight sunscreens. It’s a mess and like, that’s fine. It’s like, I embrace that life. The truth of it. But I also like the lie. I like it in photos.

Emma: Well, it’s nice to have a clean moment. It’s fun. It’s like getting all dressed up, that doesn’t have to be every day of your life, but it’s still fun to do once in a while. It’s a good feeling. 

Elsie: So yeah, I’m really excited to do that and it gives me a deadline. And our house, we’re on a renovation break, obviously, so I’m not gonna renovate, which is good. But I do have a few small things that I might do, definitely things like putting candles in our brass candlesticks, like things like that. Things that just like details, hanging art, things like that, for sure. And then I’m considering painting the kitchen, but Jeremy was like, oh, please don’t. So that’s probably like the craziest thing I would do if we do anything crazy. I don’t know if you have time. 

Emma: Before that, I think you should paint the kitchen. But I don’t know, that feels tight, but I guess it depends who you work with. Anyway, I’m excited to go on the tour because there’s a lot of, I’ve obviously seen your house, but still, we’re going to come on the tour because there’s a bunch of other houses too, and it’s just cool. And I love this neighborhood. I love walking around and looking at the outside. So to get to see some of them on the inside that I haven’t, it’s really fun.

Elsie: I’ll post on Instagram if anyone lives in our area and wants to come for sure. It’s a fundraiser. 

Emma: Raising  money for historical plaques or something. I probably explained that all wrong, but it’s a fundraiser. 

Elsie: So yeah, they’re trying to get some kind of historic designation for our neighborhood. I don’t honestly understand it, but I support it. 

Emma: Okay. My third one is I’m going to finish and launch the Handmade Murder audiobook. So I’m hard at work on it. I was telling Elsie last week, we spent a weekend with some friends and I was like, it feels like I have talked so much this week because I’ve been working on recording it, but I actually hadn’t talked to anyone all week. I just been home recording the book but I felt like I was talking for hours and hours a day, which I was because I’m. Working on recording this audio book. So anyway, my plan is that it will be out on or before the six month anniversary of Handmade murders launch. So if you know then that’s the end of April. So that’s the plan and I’m really excited for it because I listen to a lot of audio books. I love paper books I’ve talked about my love of paper books But I also am an audio book lover and I know for a lot of people audio books is either what they need for the accessibility But and other people they just don’t have time to read They’re busy and they’ve got a lot in their life. And so audiobooks are their way to enjoy literature.So I’m very excited to have my book available in that way. And it’s actually been really fun to be the narrator of my book. It’s also like I’m revisiting it. I’ve read this book so many times, as you can imagine, because I wrote it and I’ve revised it. And so in a way I feel bored with it in that I’ve read it so many times. But I also hadn’t reread the whole thing from start to finish in a while, and so it’s been fun to revisit it, and then also I’m trying my best to do a good job with the audiobook. I’m not doing, like, I mean, the characters don’t lend themselves to this anyway. There’s no crazy voices or crazy accents. I am viewing it as a little bit of a performance. And I’m trying to make, especially the conversations and when there’s dialogue in the book, feel like people are talking. Good. And it’s really fun because I’m not an actor, but it was something I was interested in in my twenties. And I took a lot of acting classes and things like that. And it’s been fun to like, kind of do that. On my own terms in my house by myself talking to no one so and I hope people like it. I’ve had fun making it. So I’m excited to have it out. 

Elsie: No, that’s super exciting. I love the artistry that goes into voice acting for audio books. It’s definitely like a big talent. 

Emma: Yeah and I don’t know if I’m not on the level of some of the best, it’s not the level I’m on, but I am doing my very best and I think it’s turning out nice. I think it’s an easy listen and feels like people are talking when there’s dialogue and, and all that. But yeah, it’s definitely a skill. 

Elsie: Well, I can’t wait to hear it. That’s so exciting. Alright, my next one is I am going to start sharing my art this season, so I just posted a little, like, my studio tour. It is like the bravest, bravest thing I’ve done in a long time. Mm hmm. Like, it actually was a little bit challenging to just put it out there, like I was very scared. So, yeah, I’m building a website, building a Shopify, you’ll hear about it, all about it in my ads. I am working with a gallery also, so really, like, it’s pretty low key, it’s a huge goal for me, and I am fitting it in, like, within, like, having a full time job, and being, like, a very involved parent with little kids, like, so, it’s like, I’m squeezing it in there. I want to share it in that way, honestly, because I feel like for other moms giving themselves something, it’s so hard to do when there’s no time there, but I do feel like it’s worth it so far.

Emma: Yeah, man. No, I’m excited for it. Okay, my next one is, I’ve just listed it as Oscar swim lessons. So our son just started swim lessons and honestly, this is more something my husband’s taking him to than me. In part because my mobility is low and getting lower because I’m pregnant. If you didn’t know. But yeah, we’re trying to get our son more into swimming. So last summer we took him to the pool all the time, our neighborhood pool that we joined, and he loves the water, but he just doesn’t have any skills yet. He’s not even three. So normal time to be doing swim lessons slash way earlier than I think we did when we were kids. But I think making sure your kids can swim is really important. It’s very important to me anyway. And so we’re kind of starting the journey and so far it hasn’t gone great. But we are figuring that out. And there’s a few times my husband’s out of town, uh, where I will take Oscar and I’m going to be the parent in the water with him. These are lessons where you’re in the water with him. So anyway, that’s just on our list, trying to make it fun and, uh, enjoy, enjoy it. And I think it’s really cute, like little kids learning to swim, like it’s, it’s a little bit of a stressful thing, but it’s also just kind of a special cute thing. So I don’t know, I’m just trying to enjoy it for what it is.

Elsie: Yeah, no, that’s so exciting. And it’s super worth it. All right. My next one is that I want to get a whole bunch of tattoos. So, I found someone in our town that specializes in fine line tattoos. So I’m gonna get like a bunch of small tattoos. But I kind of want to get like all the rest of the tattoos that I want. Just like in a couple more rounds. So, yeah, I’m excited to do it, and I think it’s fun. I don’t know, it’s, like, something that I feel like it’s, it’s kind of, like, in the same vein as, like, fashion, like, trying to, like, dress cool. It’s, like, trying to, like, make my body cool. I don’t know. It’s fun. Something that brings me joy. 

Emma:Yeah. It’s like  an accessory that you always wear. It’s awesome. I don’t know. That’s very fun. Okay. My next one is, it’s a goal to finish or mostly finish setting up our nursery. So we had a guest bedroom. Now we will no longer have a guest bedroom. We’re trying to make a new space in the basement that can become kind of a guest space when people do visit. Mm hmm. But we’re setting up the nursery and I’m really excited about it. I shared some wallpaper a couple episodes ago. I’ll put that in the show notes again, but it’s just really fun to set up a little space. And I like to get most of it done ahead of time because it just makes me feel less stressed. As most parents know, those first few months, you don’t sleep a lot. You got a lot going on. You’re doing a lot taking care of your new kiddo. So I don’t like having a lot of boxes around. It makes me feel sad. So we’re trying to do that. And Elsie gave me this really cool hanging chair. I don’t know if you even remember it. It’s like, kind of, it’s not wicker, but it’s like fabricy. 

Elsie: It’s very boho. It’s a kid’s, very much for a little kid. It’s sort of like a hammock, but it’s in the shape of a little booster seat.

Emma: Yeah, so they sit upright. And obviously our new son won’t use it right away. He’ll be a baby at first. He can’t sit. But I’m wanting to get it put into his space because we never got it hung in Oscar’s room because there just wasn’t a spot where he could not hit his head. Starting a nursery from scratch, I can have a little spot where this chair can hang. And they will enjoy it. Probably Oscar will use it as soon as we hang it up and then our new son can use it.

Elsie:  You have to do it because I bought it for Goldie and then we moved and then I think I just forgot it was there and now we’ve been through three kids. It still hasn’t been used. 

Emma: I know and I got it and then I was like this isn’t gonna really fit in Oscars room cause he’s gonna hit his head. He’s gonna swing into it. It’s not really a swing, but they’re gonna swing a little bit. So you have to kind of think about where it’s gonna go. So anyway, I was like, oh, this doesn’t quite but now that I’m doing Room from Scratch, I kind of know, okay, I’m gonna put it right in that corner, and that’s where it’s gonna be.

Elsie: So I’m excited for that. Cute. My next one is, I have some organizing goals. So, a couple months ago, or maybe like last month, I bought a large amount of foam like organizing containers for my basement. Very addictive. So I’m going to try to organize my basement. That is like, it’s probably like my hard goal for this season. Even if I get it done any time this year, though, I’d be happy with that. I just, like, we do still have boxes and I also just, it’s just very cluttery and it’s also very hard to find things that are important, like photos, documents, just like things that matter. So I want to address that. And then I had just like a few, like my closet’s really bad. I think I mentioned that earlier. When we were talking about how I need to clean out for the clothing exchange. My closet is like, fully, like, every spot is filled, and then there’s like piles on the ground, which always happens with me, and it’s not good. And I could just have less clothes, that’s probably like, the answer. And, also, our coat closet. So when we first moved in, I don’t know how this happened, but how spaces just get neglected, but I was just like throwing stuff in there, and then I kind of never stopped, and it’s just like, it’s never been organized at all, and it still has piles of stuff on the floor, and then on the shelves. That were just shoved there from literally before we moved in. So it needs to just all come out one day and then all go back in with little organizers. It’s probably like a two hour job, but for some reason, it’s like a mountain in my mind. 

Emma: I have jobs like that where you’re just like, oh God, I don’t know. I’ll do it later. I almost feel like too, when they’re like a one to three hour job. Those are kind of worse. Because you’re like, in your mind, you’re like, I can do that anytime. Yeah, no problem. I’ll do it after the kids go to sleep. But then you’re like, so tight, it’s like, no, actually you need to like, put this on your list.

Elsie: I’m going to have to get the supplies and stuff, but I do think it would really help our everyday situation. Like I was thinking for the winter time. I could have a bin of socks because kids have sock problems, like gloves and scarves, things like that. And then in the summer like hats, sunscreen, we could actually have a place for these things.

Emma: We have a lot of mosquito problems in the summer. It’s like weedy bug spray. Where’s the bug spray? Then you can’t find it.  

Elsie: And we go to the pool a lot during the summer, so I need my pool bag. And it needs to be all just like, it just needs to be organized soon. So yeah, I’m excited to say that out loud. Hopefully it’ll work. It’ll feel good when you get it done. 

Emma: Yes. That’s the reward. Yes. Okay. My next one is we have a fence and deck project. Oh, okay. I want to hear all about this. So this is kind of a big thing that we’ve wanted to do for a while. I would have loved to do it before we moved in, but listeners might remember, we did a lot of renovating. Our house was. Almost completely gutted, not the basement, but it’s a split level and most spaces got gutted and took down walls. We did a pretty extensive renovation. And we were really happy with it. But as renovations go, it went over time and went over budget. So there were things that we were like, if it fits, we’ll do this too. And these were two things that were on the list that did not happen because we did not have time, we did not have budget. So, we have a dog, we have a backyard, our current fence, it’s the fence that the house came with, like, two sides are wood, only one of them we own, the other one is the neighbor’s, so like, the back side of it is facing us, and then in the very back of our house, there’s a chain link fence that isn’t ours either, it’s also our neighbor on that side, we’re on a corner lot. And the chain link is fine as far as like, it looks like a chain link fence and there’s nothing wrong with it. But the other two fences, both the one that we own and the one that’s more our neighbors, are really just older. They’re just in disrepair. Boards fall off of them sometimes. Our dog has gotten out many times because a board will fall off, especially during a windy season. And they also just look like they could use a refresh. Like, like I said, boards fall off. Like it’s that level. But anyone who’s ever gotten a fence knows, fences are kind of expensive, it’s a bigger project.

Elsie: I got one last year. It’s always more money than you want. And it, I would say whatever price you think it is, it’s double.

Emma: Yeah. So, it’s just something that didn’t fit our budget when we first moved in and we were like, I don’t know. It’s not so bad that, like I said, our dog has gotten out a few times, and that’s a little terrifying, but we don’t want him to get hit in the street or something, which has never happened. But that’s why we have a fence in the backyard, so he doesn’t get out all the time. So anyway, we’re going to redo the fence. It’s all going to match. It’s all going to be fencing that we own now. Obviously, I have to go talk to my neighbors and make sure they’re aware of what we’re doing, and ours will go, like, inside of theirs, so we won’t disturb theirs. Things like that. And then we’re also, though, that’s not so exciting to me. It’s more functional. It will look nice, but it’s like a whole bunch of money for something that’s just needed. But the thing I’m excited about is the deck. So we’re getting a really simple, very minimal deck put onto the back. So our backyard is essentially, once you step out of the back, it starts to be kind of a slight hill going up. So the hill kind of leads down to our house. So it’s just all kind of an incline. And we have like one back step where you step out onto the ground and then we’ve put Oscar has a sandbox outside and we put that out there this last summer. We got it for his birthday. And we played with that a ton last summer. But we’re going to move that to kind of the side of the house and we’re going to build a deck kind of straight out. So we’re going to have some level area, which we currently don’t really have any level area. And it’s nice because we’ll be able to put a table, like an outdoor table, so we could sit and eat dinner, or whatever, like just have a snack outside on the weekend with Oscar. I also want to get some little yard games that he can play with, like one of those giant Connect Fours, or, he already likes to play with our cornhole set, like the bean bags that you throw in the hole. So that, and then the summer. My baby’s due towards the end of June, so obviously my husband will keep taking Oscar to the pool, and me and baby will go some, but there’s going to be a phase where I can’t submerge, and the baby will be very little, and so we’ll be home more. We won’t go to the pool. I won’t go to the pool quite as much as last summer. So I’d like to just get one of those kiddie pools. And I have a feeling it will become an air quotes car wash because Oscar will probably bring cars out there and like to play with it in that way. And I think that’s just something fun we can do after daycare and just have in our backyard that’s like really no big deal. And he’s at an age where like a really small kiddie pool is still exciting. But I need a little bit of level ground to set it on. So, I’m excited to have this deck. So, I think it’s going to be very useful. It sounds great. Very useful, very fun. So I’m excited for it. 

Elsie: No, I think that that will make your backyard so much more useful. I’m really excited for you. 

Emma: I agree because we’re back there a lot, but there’s just no level space, no table. There’s just the sandbox, which we play in, but that’s our big project for the spring. 

Elsie: Can you please, please, please, please, please tell our listeners what your dog’s name is and what your neighbor’s name is?

Emma: Sure, because it’s just one name. They’re both named Steve. Which we didn’t realize when we moved in for a while. So I kept yelling at our dog, Steve, come inside! So we have to get him to come inside. And then we met our neighbor in the back and his name was Steve and I was like, oh, I’m so sorry for yelling Steve so angrily so many times before I met you and now I know your name. Just like yelling Steve. So funny. 

Elsie: It’s like the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. Okay, this is my favorite one. So Emma and I had a dream, and now we are making it into reality. And the dream is that we’re pre scheduling the entire summer of blog posts. And, obviously, okay, this is more my thing because Emma’s like, Emma’s taking maternity leave and she shouldn’t have to do double the work. No, I’m just kidding. Yeah, right, like, and I had one maternity leave where I pre scheduled a bunch of stuff and I had one where I didn’t pre schedule anything, so I kind of feel like she doesn’t owe me anything. Anyway, I’m trying to pre-schedule the whole summer because last summer I had a mommy breakdown that I was trying to work full time and my kids were home the whole summer and it was literally impossible. It was, it was trying to be two people at one time. And this summer I am excited to try it differently. So I’ve been working really hard on it. And I mean, it’s definitely a team effort. Emma has, Emma has stuff in there too. And I just don’t want you to feel like you have to do what I’m doing because you’re having a maternity leave, which is legit. I’m doing my best and that’s all I’m going to do. I’m basically giving myself a vacation. By pre scheduling, but yeah, we’re really excited. It’s something we’ve never tried before in all our years of blogging. We’ve pretty much always been one week to one month ahead. Like that’s how many drafts we’ll have in our blog at a time. I can’t think of a time when it was ever more than that. I can definitely think of times it was less. So this is a new experience. It feels like. It does feel kind of genius, like, why didn’t we do this sooner, but maybe it’s just necessity is the mother of invention, and I basically have to be a stay at home mom in the summer now, and so this is like, giving me a chance to be both. So yeah, it’s really fun, it’s really challenging, and I know the, kind of like, no one is going to care at all, except for the podcast listeners who hear me explaining it, because it’s just not very remarkable. I don’t think anyone will know. 

Emma: Yeah because it’s a sneaky trick we’re playing, it’s just like, I just don’t think people pay attention in that way, which is totally fine. So yeah, I don’t even think people will notice that we’re off. 

Elsie: It’s very exciting to me. It feels like we’re like, working towards something that I really want. So it’s very exciting. I think it’s going to go great. And then we can do it every summer.

Emma: Yeah. While our kids are in school. 

Elsie: We already do it for our Christmas break, but that’s like a couple weeks. So it’s really, really different from three months. This is Christmas break on steroids. Planning and scheduling three months is like, it’s a lot of work. And I think I’m glad I started in January because I think I’m going to need it. 

Emma: Okay. My last one is, I didn’t put these in any particular order, I’m realizing. Maybe I should have led up to the biggest thing. Oh well. But last one is, I want to take Oscar to the zoo with his cousins. So this involves Elsie too. So we were just talking about it and I was like, I haven’t taken him to our zoo yet. And we went to the zoo a lot when we were kids.  It sounds like something to do in the spring too, before it gets too hot. And it’ll be easier with one kid than two for me. So yeah, I’m like, Oh, I’ll put that on my spring bucket list. Go to the zoo. Get some snow cones or whatever. 

Elsie: I’m excited to go since it’s a part of our childhood and I want to see how when you haven’t been to a place since you were a child, you want to see how it really looks versus how it looks in your memory. So that’ll be fun. 

Emma: Because I have memories of like the snake house, which was like the place where all the reptiles were. I don’t even know if it’s called the snake house, but in my mind it’s called the snake house. I remember the monkey enclosure. The monkeys who threw sh*t and snow cones. Those are the main things I remember. So I want to see.

Elsie: At the Nashville Zoo, they have a giant kangaroo, and you can be in the enclosure with it, and it was really scary! I was terrified. It was just so much bigger, and more animalistic. I don’t want to do that. I was like I’m getting out of here. I guess they’re very harmless, though, or they wouldn’t let you, probably. I assume, or they wouldn’t let you, but still. Okay, my final one is, I am entering my flower garden era. Ooh la la! So, last fall, planted, like, hundreds of bulbs, and they were for poppies, tulips, A couple of other, like, I think we’re innocuous, like, so, oh, and peonies and some of them were like bulbs and some of them were roots, but they were all like little brown things. And so I’m very curious. And I spent a lot of time on this flower website, like picking them all out and picking varieties that were like, they looked really unique. So I’m so curious, like if they’re going to. If it’s going to work, if my yard is going to be like Alice in Wonderland, or if it’s going to be like half and half, like it could be anything and it’s going to, I’m going to find out in like a month. So I can’t wait. That’s exciting. 

Emma: Yeah. I know nothing about plants. I’m not in my plant era, so I’m curious.

Elsie: I’m not in my gardening era, but these are like perennials. That you only have to plant one time. So I felt it, it felt realistic. And I also planted fruit trees. That is probably my more unrealistic thing. Oh, and I planted a magnolia tree. So I planted several trees, but that’s also not really. That’s a long term. You gotta wait for them. I’m not trying to grow vegetables right now. I think, I hope that there’s a day, someday in my future, we’ll all be that consistent and reliable but I’m not at that point right now. 

Emma: No, me either. Oh, book report! Yeah, book report time. 

Elsie: So the book is called The Only One Left by Riley Sager. It is a popular thriller novel. Has a very cool cover. I was very excited. I like to get really excited to read popular books because it’s sort of like watching The Bachelor or something like it’s like you get to feel like you’re a part of culture. Before I ever read a Colleen Hoover book. It’s like, then you can’t talk to people about it. You can’t talk to people. 

Emma: And then once you read it, you’re like, okay, now I’m in the conversation here. Yes, for sure. Yeah, I totally agree. I felt very cool as I was reading this one because the cover is so epic. It’s like red, this house that’s on a cliff, and then I think blue lettering. So it was just very bold. So it’s a really fun one. So the premise is our main character, our protagonist, she’s a caregiver. So not a nurse, but someone who cares for like elderly people in their last few years. And she gets assigned to care for a woman who is suspected of murdering her entire family from when she was young, and now she’s old. And she lives in this old, old house on a cliff, uh, over the ocean. And that’s kind of the premise. And so we’re sort of figuring out through this caregiver’s experience. If that is what happened, if she is the murderer, and she was just never caught, or maybe she wasn’t the murderer, maybe the murderer is still at large, or whatever. So that’s sort of the thriller mystery piece, is like, figuring out what happened all those years ago and uncovering the truth behind what happened to this family. So yeah, this will have spoilers, so if you’re wanting to read this book and you haven’t yet, stop now. Turn back. Turn back. Okay, so what was your overall impression of the book? You finished it before me, and I feel like you kept being like, I won’t say anymore. I’ll wait till you’re done. 

Elsie: Yeah, and then I was like, call me immediately when you finish, and she didn’t. I don’t even remember you saying that. 

Emma: I always say it was probably like 9 p. m or something when I finished though You don’t want me to call you and be like, hey, i’m going to sleep, but I just want you to know it was pretty good. 

Elsie: Okay so my overall impression of the book is that I’m not even sure if this is like I’m not even sure that I’m a thriller category person and so I never want to be too critical of something that wasn’t even for me. It’s not even mine. 

Emma: It’s not your number one genre or whatever. 

Elsie: Yeah, I’m not dying for a mystery in general. So, I will say I liked the book. I thought it was a fun read, a quick read, a page turner. And it has an old spooky house, which I loved. Yeah, I wanted to see the house so bad, like the movie version, so we could see it. And the writer is clearly very talented, and I would definitely try more of the books. But I didn’t love it. Like, there’s no other way to say it. By the ending, I was just like, oh my god. I think your review was too many twists. Like, way, way, way, way, way too many twists. For me, but, some people, I feel like, want that many twists. And I can see that. Like, I always, like, it was the same thing, okay, like, I don’t want to compare it too much, but it had some similarities with Verity. And I think that’s like a very common book that a lot of people have. It was very popular. Still is. And it has like, the, the person who is not able to move but then you think maybe they’re maybe they can move it has that part of it and I feel like that they were about Equal as far as like how much I enjoyed them and like if I thought they were pretty equal like I maybe maybe I enjoyed Verity a little bit more cuz it was so zany But this one has the craziest twist that I’ve ever read. It’s a thing that happens at the end. The real, you can say it. We already said there’d be spoilers. So at the end of the book, the house falls off the cliff. For me, that was like, I can’t like, I just was like, okay. And Emma was like, no, the house was always going to.

Emma: I was like, he had to make the house fall off the cliff. If the author didn’t, I would have been like, oh, you chickened out because the whole time he’s telling us. 

Elsie: They’re like running through the house while it’s falling off the cliff.

Emma: Every day they wake up and there’s a new crack and that’s like part of the book. So I was like, the house has to cave in or fall off the cliff or something. If it doesn’t, And he’s really foreshadowed nothing, and it’s strange. 

Elsie: It’s a fun book. I didn’t like it but it’s a fun book. I didn’t like it that much. I feel like it can be both, right? Like sometimes you read a book and you’re like, I think I would recommend, like I would totally send this. I was curious if Emma would love it way more than me, because I think Emma is way more into a thriller than I am. Obviously, like, your book is a thriller, so. 

Emma: Yeah, my book’s a thriller. I definitely liked it a lot more than you did, and I’ll say I didn’t feel it was that similar to Verity, and I also, I probably enjoyed this quite a bit more than Verity. And I liked Verity. I read it real quick and was very entertained by it. . But I definitely liked this more. I think also, I just really liked this premise. I’m also a true crime person. Ooh. I like true crime podcasts. And so it has a very true crime beginning where it’s like a family that’s been annihilated and you’re trying to figure out who did it.  So it’s kind of got a lot of levels to it that speak to me and my interest in pop culture. This is fiction, obviously. So I liked that. I also kept trying to envision the house ’cause it. It does feel like this very gothic, old, spooky house that’s falling apart.

Elsie: It has oil painting portraits. I love that. It has a ballroom.

Emma:I also feel like people say this about romance a lot where they say it’s a formula. So all romance is kind of the same. So all romance is kind of the same. It’s a very similar formula and I think people either like that or they don’t. They find it comforting. And so they want to see how the author uses the formula in a new way to entertain them with this genre that they like, or they find that annoying, and that’s like what they’re trying to say about romance is like, it’s all the same, and I find that boring. And I actually think that thrillers are very similar. I think you’re right. I think they have kind of a formula. And I like that. I find it comforting. And I like to see how an author takes it. Like, because you knew that each character that we meet in the house, there’s really only like five, they’re all going to be involved somehow with the family or with the murder or something. But you don’t know how. And so you’re trying to figure that out. There’s things that you’re like, the author has to pay this off in some way, but I don’t know how they’re going to do it. And that’s the ride that I’m on. That’s true. And then I also felt this author was very good at teasing out a longer story, and that’s what a thriller is. It’s like the author knows the ending, you’re trying to figure out the ending, and they’re taking you there slowly. They’re taking you on a long, winding tour to that ending. And I thought this author did a great job with that. I was always excited to pick up the book when I had time to read, and I overall really, really enjoyed it. I did think it had too many twists.  

Elsie: I also agreed with that. I feel like we say that a lot, though, so it might just be like a personal sort of like thing.

Emma: I don’t mind a couple twists but he did need to pay off a number of things that he had set up, and I think he did it, and at least for me, he still surprised me. And so I really thought that was good. Like I don’t know, I’m not really a critic, but like, I was like this is good. 

Elsie: It was fun to read. I want to take back my review, but I also want to tell the truth about it. It’s hard! It’s hard to, like, sometimes I think it’s hard to do the book club, because we usually pick books we haven’t read yet, and what do you do if you don’t like it?

Emma: You just kind of say the parts you like, and hopefully it’s more than just one tiny thing. And then move on from there. 

Elsie: I thought it was fun, and I definitely thought that I would read more from the author. So it’s for sure, and I can also see how much talent it would take. I don’t think I could ever write something like that with that many, like, twists and teases. Like, it was very elaborate. Yeah, it was very fun.

Emma: And I think, too, like, I really liked that it’s kind of a simple story and really there’s not a lot of action in the book. Like, there is a character who can’t move. She’s in a wheelchair in her bed the whole time. Although there’s a twist at the end. But there’s kind of like not a lot of action and it still felt very suspenseful and like things were happening all the time and a lot of chapters that ended on like cliffhangers, which is funny thing to say about this book because the house is literally on the edge of a cliff. Yeah, I enjoyed it a lot. If you like thrillers and you like trying to figure out the ending, I think this is a pretty fun one. I wasn’t able to guess everything. I would say I guessed like half of it and then he still surprised me with other stuff. And some of it to me was like, uh, okay. But most of it I was like, Ooh, fun. That’s a little, not what I was quite thinking and that works for me and I like it. So, anyway. Nice. Cool. Yep. I gave it four out of five houses falling off a cliff. I don’t know. I would love to see the movie version cause I would love to see, and if the Knives Out crew can do the house, I would really love to, cause they’re just so talented. I would just love to see this house cause it’s going to be all gothic and murdery, but it’s old and I think it’s going to be kind of beautiful too. And it’s like a rich family. 

Elsie: They force all the workers to wear maids costumes. 

Emma: Yeah, a maid costume or like whatever they do, a chef costume if they’re the chef, whatever.

Elsie: I think it would be very aesthetically pleasing. 

Emma: I agree. It felt a little like Spooky Clue, you know, like, so I was into it and I would definitely watch the movie version if nothing else for the house. Okay. Well now it’s time for a joke or fact or a meditation with Nova.

Elsie: Okay, Nova, what do you have for us this week? 

Nova: I have a joke. What do you do after giving your dog a bath? You pull the pug out. 

Emma: Nice. Okay, thank you so much for listening. We’d love to hear your suggestions for topics for future episodes. You can send us an email at podcast@abeautifulmess.com with your request. And next week we are coming back with an episode all about Easter and Easter traditions.

You can find the podcast posts archive here.

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And if you’re looking for a specific code you heard on the podcast, you can see a full list on this page!

Show Notes:

Nova’s Girl Scout Cookies

Check out the wallpaper that Emma used in her kids’ bedrooms Oscar’s room/Nursery

How to know what furniture will look best in a room

Make a mood board

Pick color scheme

Choose 1-2 wood finishes

Pick out your metals (we recommend 1-2)

Set a budget

Go with the style of when your house was built

Get your partner or roommates opinion

Measure everything

Use painter’s tape to make out how big your furniture or rug is

Make a model of furniture out of cardboard boxes

Where do you buy most of your furniture

• Flea Markets
• Facebook Marketplace
• Etsy
• Wayfair
• Joybird
• Article
• Amazon
• Serena & Lily
• Anthropologie
• Ikea
• Rugs USA
• eBay
• Rifle Paper (we love their rugs)

Emma’s handmade wooden desk – My friend is working on their website launch now. I’ll have to share it once it’s live as his work is so high quality and I love my desk.

Here’s Elsie’s rugs from Etsy (the company is The Rug Decor and they are no longer on Etsy).

Tips for customizing your furniture

Check out our blog post on The Best Paint for Kitchen Cabinets

Spray paint

Make your own dining room table

Throw pillows and throw blankets are your best friend

Use a slipcover

Check out our blog post about Elsie’s Painted Couch

Favorite fabrics from sofa and couches

Leather (this is very similar to Elsie’s sofa)

Velvet

Your favorite piece of furniture that you own

Emma – Piano they got from her husband’s parents

Elsie – Swan fireplace, living room fireplace, Rosemary’s baby fireplace, kitchen island, and hanging wicker chair

Miss an Episode? Get Caught Up!

• Episode #222: Hook – Comfort Rewatch
• Episode #221: Finding Joy in the Little Things
• Episode #220: You Got Questions, We Got Answers

Episode 223 Transcript:

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Emma: You’re listening to the Beautiful Mess Podcast, your cozy comfort listen, and we’ve gotten tons of questions regarding buying furniture for your house. Like, how do you know what will work best in your room? What fabrics are the most durable? So today, we are deep-diving into all things buying furniture.

Elsie: So before we jump in, let’s talk about your new baby room. 

Emma: Yeah. So we’re finally trying to kind of set it up, mostly. Maybe not everyone feels this way, but first kid, it’s like, you don’t have any kids. So you have all this time and you’re excited. I was so excited to be a mom. So everything was all the way set up, ready to go before he was ever born. This kid, I think it’s going to be 70 percent set up before he arrives. And I think that’s pretty good. That’s my goal. So, you know, like, his crib probably won’t be in there, but he won’t even sleep in his crib for the first, you know, four, five, six months, anyway, he sleeps in our room. 

Elsie: I think it’s totally fine if you put some stuff in there to make it special, and you can take, like, one little picture for your baby book, I think that’s all you need to do. Remove the pressure. 

Emma: We just want to get most of the boxes out and stuff. But one big thing in my world is we’re doing a wallpaper accent wall in his nursery, which is currently a guest bedroom.

Elsie: What kind of wallpaper?

Emma: It’s Spoonflower and it’s kind of like, so your house is very historical. My house is a lot more minimal, a little bit of modern, and then a little bit eclectic because we just have Trey’s old family piano and it’s, you know, kind of an antique. You know, it’s a little eclectic, but if I had to sum it up, I would say it’s minimal and modern. A little bit of this century, a little bit of this, a little bit of that. So anyway, the wallpaper I’ve picked is, to me, it kind of vibes like modern So, it’s mostly blue, but then it has these little orange circles, it almost looks, something about it makes me think of, you know those badminton balls? It kind of looks like a tennis ball with feathers on it. It doesn’t actually have that, like, symbol in it or anything, but it kind of vibes like that to me. And then I felt like we were putting an accent wall in the nursery. And I would just always want to put an accent wall in Oscar’s room. He currently doesn’t have any wallpaper. We just kind of set up everything that we had when we moved. And I’ve put up art like I feel like his room feels nice, but it doesn’t have any wallpaper. So I thought we would do an accent wall in his room too at the same time, in part because then it just is more worth it for our wallpaper hanger to come to my house. But also I just didn’t want Oscar to feel like his brother’s getting all this new stuff, and he gets nothing. I don’t know if he’d even notice, but, you know, I just want him to feel like we’re doing a little thing in your room, too. 

Elsie: I definitely don’t think he would notice. But I do think it’s good to batch, like, wallpaper install and, like, home tasks. That makes sense completely. Like, why not, you know? 

Emma: So he is, like, blue hand-painted checkers, is what it looks like. So it’s kind of modern, too, in a way, and kind of minimal for wallpaper. So anyway, they’re both blue. They’re different colors blue. And I think they’re gonna look really cute. I’m really excited about them. 

Elsie: Would you put them in the show notes to show everyone? 

Emma: Yeah. I think I put them in a 10 Things Sunday maybe a few weeks ago, but I’ll link them again so you can see them. Cool. 

Elsie: Yeah. I’m excited to see that sounds really cute. 

Emma: They’re cute. I think Oscar’s going to really like his and I’m sure our other kid will like his vagina. He’ll be a baby. So they’ll love it. 

Elsie: I mean, my experience of it was that maybe like the baby rooms are a little bit more for you because like when they get older, like our kids are excited about their rooms now, but I don’t know that they probably even remember their baby rooms, think there is something like a good nesting experience about it of just like setting it up and thinking about it and getting books and some plushies and just like the little, you know, it’s, it’s special. 

Emma: Yeah. And you spend a lot of time in there, especially that first year, you know, just like nursing and getting them down for naps and this and that. And so it feels nice in there. It doesn’t have to be like perfect or whatever, but just. It’s not feeling like it’s all cardboard boxes that I still need to set up. It’s not all undone chores to me; that makes me feel a lot more settled. So yeah we’re going in that direction. 

Elsie: Okay. So this episode is all about buying furniture for your home. So we are going to sort of like teach you how to do it if you’re moving into your first home, your first apartment. Or you are in a situation like I’ve been in a few times where you want to like completely change, you know, you’re like, I think I’m going to sell everything and then just like change to a different style or like I’m moving to a house that’s a completely different style or something like that. Yeah, just last year we did that where we furnished our current home, we had sold our previous home furnished, so we didn’t really bring almost anything. We brought, like, a few, a few small pieces, but almost all the furniture stayed, which was kind of fun, but I had to, like, buy everything pretty quickly. So this is pretty fresh on my mind, and I think this will be fun to talk about, because I have a passion for, like, flea markets and vintage pieces and all of that. I think it’s great and we’ll, like, definitely go into that in detail. But you can’t buy everything from a store like that. You do have to order, at least I did, to just, like, make it a reasonable, functional home as quickly as possible for our young children and our own sanity I wanted to do it quickly. We can talk about both, which is exciting. 

Emma: So, the first question we have is, how do you know what furniture will look best in a room?

Elsie: Okay, so, when you are preparing to move into a new home or preparing to remodel a home, the first step, I think, is always to make a mood board. A mood board is so essential, that it is life-changing. I don’t think you should ever start just, like, spending hundreds or thousands of dollars on furniture without a mood board. It’s just worth it. So it can be as simple as just making a folder on your computer and just pulling pictures from Pinterest or a pin board, and it can be as complicated as making a beautiful mood board in Canva or Photoshop for every single room. Whatever level you want to be at, the thing that I love to do is to do a color scheme for every house. A mood board is one thing, and then the color scheme is more like the paint colors, I think, but you know, it also ends up tying into furniture. And I think it’s good to have one or two wood finishes that you’re focusing on. So you’re not just like going everywhere. Like you’re, you know, you, you know what your go-to wood finishes are. It makes it easier to pick out. Like, I think in the color scheme, you could also put your go-to metals because I think it’s good to have, you don’t have to have just one, like, you don’t have to be, like, all gold everything, like, you get decision fatigue usually, and I think, like, if you just start just, like, ordering the first thing that pops up when you start searching, that will not be good, so having, like, go to, like, I want to do mostly black hardware, I want to do mostly dark bronze, is good to have.

Emma: I will also say I think the mood board is a great way if you’re going to be working with others, so like if you are in a place where you’re going to be working with an interior designer, giving them the mood board you’ve put together and then they can do their thing from there is great. But also, generally, this is a great time to get roommates or partners, and spouses on board show them the mood board, and see if they have any strong reactions to any of the metals, wood grains, or colors that you’ve picked, because once you kind of get on the same page with these general big picture things, the colors, the wood grains, the metals, the style overall, you know, is it historical? Is it mid-century modern? Is it minimal? Then it’s going to be a lot easier to make a lot of small decisions and not feel like you necessarily have to involve them every single time without feeling like they’re going to maybe hate something because it’s going to fit into the overall thing that you’ve both, you know, agreed to and like, and have seen.

Elsie: I think that’s really good advice. I think that having your mood board ready is really good because anytime that we’ve changed styles, I feel like I had to sort of present it to my husband in a way that he could take in he couldn’t really just look at like a picture of like a dresser or a bed frame and have an opinion He needs to look at like a styled picture from Pinterest of someone else’s room. Yeah, so I think presenting it in a way that if your partner is not picky, but I know a lot of partners are. It’s something we get, like, tons of emails about, so I would just advise to, like, show it in context instead of trying to explain it, because they might have, like, some kind of gut reaction or have something in their mind that isn’t consistent with what really what you’re trying to do. Just show them an attractive-looking picture of a room and that, I think is the easiest way to sort of like convince someone, if you need to convince, that they can like to trust this new style or this new vision or it’s not going to be like You know, I think when we first started doing historical, my husband was like a little afraid it was going to be like every grandma, which it is. 

Emma: It’s cool grandma.

Elsie: It is cool. And I don’t think it’s grandma in a bad way, but like when we were walking through the flea market and I would just point to things that scared him, right? But then once he started seeing it in a tie-in, you know, like now that he’s seen the rooms and before that when he was seeing like pictures of, you know, like stylish rooms that felt pulled together and interesting and detail and like the style we were trying to do. The context is super important. 

Emma: Yeah, it definitely is. I mean, it’s like if you see a pair of shoes that you’re like, Oh, those are ugly. And then you see your very stylish friend who’s put together this interesting outfit wearing the shoes and all of a sudden you’re like, Oh, those are really interesting, cool shoes. And it’s like, well, yeah, cause now you’re seeing them styled in the space. You know what I mean? So it’s kind of that kind of thing. I’ll also say if you’re the type of person who has a hard time narrowing down. You’re like, I like all styles. I like all colors. One, it’s cool to have a rainbow house. That’s cool. But also, I think a great way to narrow that down. If you’re like, I love everything let your house tell you how old she is. So if you have an old house, a historical house, you know, lean into that if you have a new build that’s extremely modern lean into that like, you know If you’re a kind of person who likes lots of different things and you have a hard time narrowing it down, just let your house speak to you with what it already is because then you’re not going to be swimming against the current You’re gonna be going with the flow of what’s already the house is trying to do.

Elsie: Yeah, I agree with that. 

Emma: I was gonna say, we need to talk about measuring. 

Elsie: Measuring and scale. It is wildly different. Like, I have lived in, I don’t know, like four or five homes. And the scale in every single one was wildly different. And the biggest places where I think you can go wrong with scale are curtains.

Like, small dinky curtains are like, they will ruin the whole room. 

Emma: We were in an Airbnb over the weekend with some friends, and we were going nuts for the curtains in the house because they were all too small for every single window. They were just dinky and weird. It was like, and cut weird. And they didn’t even cover them and it made the spaces look way cheaper, like just cheap, because they were not the right size curtains. 

Elsie: Curtains are really, really important. The second thing is rugs. Like, if you cannot afford a rug that’s the correct size, you have to pick a different rug. And I get it, I get it, I’ve been there. But yeah, like, a rug that’s too small kind of will mess up the whole design, and even though I consider myself like really experienced and a professional, I still mess up on it sometimes it’s really hard not to mess up on rug sizes. So I think you do have to be willing to make returns and, you know. And I lost this once in a while. 

Emma: I’ll say your best friend can be a painter’s tape. So use painter’s tape to mark out how big something will be on a floor. So like furniture or a rug or anything like that, you can use painter’s tape to just mark it out on the floor. It’s not going to ruin anything. It literally is supposed to come off of surfaces. That’s the whole point of the painter’s tape. And you can do this like for things that how tall is it going to be against this wall? You can do it for things like that. There are times this you know, you almost need something 3D, and I’ve had friends, they will literally build 3D versions of things they’re thinking about buying out of cardboard. And I know that sounds wacky, but if you’re about to spend a couple thousand dollars and you won’t be able to return it, maybe the return policy is just dicey. I don’t think it’s a bad idea to save all your Amazon boxes and build yourself a little model to make sure that it looks right in your space.

Elsie: In some way, you have to make a model. A lot of times with rugs, you might feel like it’s going to look too big, but I think for most rooms, the biggest rug that fits is the right size rug, especially and living rooms. I don’t know, when you walk into a room, like, you’ll see it now if you haven’t ever, but like, a rug that only goes under a coffee table is sort of like the saddest possible rug. Anyway, I think getting those sizes right is so important. The biggest curtains you can fit on the wall all the way up to the ceiling, all the way down to the floor, the biggest rugs you can fit in the room. And then for furniture, getting the scale right on furniture is really tricky. I think just do the tape. Because especially if it’s like a side table or a dining room table, like the tape it’s so worth it. 

Emma: Does this dining table feel too big? Do I feel like I can move my chairs back? Do I feel, you know, or does it feel too dinky? Does it feel like the room’s going to echo? Like just, you know, tape it out and see what you think.

Elsie: And there are ways that you can hide scale problems. We have really, really bad scale problems in our current living room because the fireplace is giant and it has to be, and the room is actually not that big. And the sofa that’s there is a normal size. It’s not even a sectional, like it’s really, the scale’s crazy. And how I disguised it was by painting the fireplace the same color as the walls and then all of a sudden it disappeared a little bit and you don’t think about it as like its own piece anymore. It’s integrated so I think that’s one thing you can do you can paint things the same color to help them disappear and I think scale also comes into play with light fixtures, so if you start paying attention, you’ll see it absolutely everywhere you go. It will, like, actually ruin your life. But, like, in every restaurant, in every home, in every Airbnb you’ll ever stay in, it’s like, you have to put the right size of light fixtures, you know, above a table. Yeah. I think especially above the tables is like the worst offender when they’re super tiny or when they’re too big. I’ve had that before too, where I’m just like so attached. 

Emma: Well, I thought I had a grand space and it turns out I had a medium grand space. 

Elsie: Measuring is your best friend. The bottom line is, to measure everything. Okay. Where do you buy most of your furniture, Emma?

Emma: So at this point, a lot of stuff I’ve owned for a long time, so I wanted to mention a couple of brands that for me have like been pieces that we’ve high traffic and they’ve held up well. So we have a sectional and a couch, leather article, it’s like a tan article couch. And they’ve actually been in multiple spaces and they’ve worked really well. Right now they’re in our upstairs living room. It’s like a long living room, so it kind of has two sections to it. The back part feels like its own little space and the front part feels like its own little space. So the couch is actually back up against each other with a little table in between them to kind of separate. I’m not a huge Leather person. I’m not against it or anything. It’s just not something I tend to gravitate towards, but I will say these have gotten stains, you know, I have kids I have dogs. I have myself who’s also messy, by the way, And they look great and I feel like every little imperfection has made them look better over time. They don’t look new anymore, but they look worn in a nice way. So I really like them I think that that color leather just worked for our space and looks really nice. The other thing we have that I’ve had for a long time that I love is my Joybird sectional, which is in our downstairs living room. Aren’t we fancy? We have two living rooms. It’s kind of just an open space, but It’s more like your TV living room. It’s our TV living room. We have our projector screen in there. The color is called Taylor Felt Grey, and it is a woven material that kind of has speckles in it. Like when you look at it, it reads gray, but when you look at it up close, it kind of has speckles and I think that works great if you are the kind of person who eats on your couch, which I do, and I also let our toddler. And so it, it has little, you know, marks from ketchup and whatever else. So it’s held up great. And I still feel like it looks really, really, really good. And I’m really happy with it. But both of those brands, I’ve noticed, Article of Joybird, their pieces tend to be pretty big, which fills out a space for me because I’m the type of person, I don’t do like tons and tons of small furniture, I do like one big piece and then like a small coffee table or whatever. That’s just for me a better fit, like, you know, again, I’m kind of more minimal, so I’m like one big piece and then things build around it kind of thing. So that, and then I’ll also say, especially with our Joybird sectional, which is the woven material, I think it’s worth it to buy yourself a nice couch that you’re excited about and then get it cleaned periodically. So the place we use where I live in Springfield, Missouri is called Missouri Rug. So it sounds like it’s about rugs, but they will also clean rugs or furniture. And they literally send men to your house and they take your furniture away. I don’t know exactly everything they do, they shampoo it. I don’t know. But they clean it, and when it comes back, I’ve been shocked how, like, clean it gets. I will say, you have to have three or four days where you don’t have your couch. So you need to plan, couch chairs are like, don’t plan to host a big party right then. Like, you need to be strategic about doing something like that. But I think it’s really worth it to buy nice pieces and then have them cleaned periodically. Same thing with rugs. If you buy a really nice rug, and you’re like, Oh, but it’s going to get ruined. Have it cleaned now and again. Now they’re not miracle workers. Certain stains are not going to come out. They are not like God. But a quality cleaning place, you’d be shocked what they’re able to do with certain fabrics. 

Elsie: That’s a great tip. I’ve never done that before. It sounds like it would be really worth it. 

Emma: I’ve had the sectional cleaned every time we move because it’s like you might as well, you’re already going to pay a mover to move it. So you just pay them to take it out of your house, put it in the new house, and in the meantime clean it. And then there was one other time that I was just like, it’s getting a little grody and I just had them come and take it and honestly, I will probably do it again. I’m thinking before our son’s born, our second son, I’m going to get that cleaned again, just because, as I said, we eat dinner on our couch a lot. I let our toddler eat dinner on the couch a lot and it’s just got a lot of chicken finger crumbs and ketchup stains. And I think that they’re all going to come out and you kind of don’t even see them with the fabric. So anyway, I feel like I’m selling this couch to you. I’m not trying to. I’m just trying to give you ideas of, like, if you live in your home, which I do, then you want to have stuff that’s, like, gonna last and still look Even though you live there and you make messes and you have dogs or cats or you, you know, whatever. 

Elsie: Do you have any other go-to places that you like to shop for furniture? 

Emma: I do shop a lot on Amazon and Wayfair, especially to fill things out until I can get something nice. One piece that I love in my home, though, is this, like, handmade wooden desk. I’ll put a link in the show notes if they have their shop live, but it was a friend of mine who was getting into woodworking, and I think they’re launching their shop soon. And it’s really nice to be able to buy, like, something handmade from someone. And I’ve had it now for years, and I love it. And it’s just really sturdy, really nice, solid wood. So I do love getting pieces like that. I feel like for me, that just kind of pops up once in a while where you’re like, Oh, I see this artisan in town. And you know, because it’s tricky to do shipping for large pieces. So it’s kind of nice, I’ll have something cheap because it’s like I needed a desk. I have to work somewhere. And then a few years later, someone will be doing something cool like that. And then I’ll just buy it and replace my cheap desk, you know, give it away or sell it with something nice. And then I have a nice one forever. 

Elsie: Cool. Yeah, no, that makes sense. Okay. So for our Historic home, we bought all of our furniture last year, so I have a really good memory of this. Yeah. Okay, so I tried to buy everything I could from flea markets. I bought a little bit from Facebook Marketplace. I love Facebook Marketplace, but I feel like it has to be really special for me to go through the social gruel of like you know?

Emma: Please don’t murder me. I’m coming to get my piece. 

Elsie: I wouldn’t buy just like an everyday thing on there, but we got, you know, like our fireplace face that has the carved swans. And then I think a couple of other things, I think some outdoor chairs. And I think that when you find something truly special, it’s like really cool to get it from someone. And then they have like a story they usually tell you and things like that. But yeah, we have this amazing antique mall called Relics Antique Mall in Springfield. It’s honestly probably the best antique mall I’ve ever been to in my life, so it’s one of the things about our small town that makes me like, it’s like my anthropology.

Emma: If friends visit. We’re like, do you want to go to Relics? 

Elsie: Yeah, we have these two amazing antique malls. And then there are some really good thrifts too. So I tried to buy as much as I could from there. And I did do two trailer loads with my father-in-law. And then I had movers go pick up stuff for me, I think twice. So that’s like a lot. The thing I’ll say about buying furniture from flea markets is that even when the price seems like a lot in the flea market, it’s still usually like a Wayfair price. Like, it’s still usually not actually expensive. It just seems expensive for something used. But what you’re getting is something super high quality that the stuff I got was like a hundred years old. And some of it’s really magical and like, just, you cannot find new pieces. I’ve got a few new pieces that look antique and they’re super expensive. You cannot find brand new pieces for these prices for this quality. So yeah, I’m big about flea markets. I understand it’s not for everyone. I totally get it. Like, I’ve heard the whole thing, but I think that if you’re on a budget and or you want to do historic home decor, it can’t be beat. Obviously, it depends on where you live in the country. Okay, so my go-to’s for new furniture. I think this is going to be surprising. Okay, so my number one, like, fancy go-to is Serena and Lily. In our previous home, the McMansion, we did kind of a lot of furniture from Serena and Lily. It fits really well with the style. It’s a little more beachy. I think people would call it coastal or something like that. I love their chairs specifically. They have a pretty big variety. They have really good sales. And the quality is a 10 out of 10. The other place that I shop the most is Wayfair. And like, you literally just said, until I can buy something nice. 

Emma: Wayfair does have nice things too. I should say that. I tend to buy like, something cheaper, but they do have really nice things too. So I don’t want to make it sound like there’s nothing nice on Wayfair because that’s not true. 

Elsie: They have the reputation of being pretty much the same as Amazon, which to be fair, on Amazon you can also find things, it’s just a lot of searching. Like you will not find high-quality furniture on the first page, but you can find it eventually, as it happens. Okay, so Wayfair, I think I got used to shopping there because we used to be sponsored by them and I did a couple of Airbnbs that were mostly from there. So I just got like experience with the website and I think you do have to get used to the website and like. Any website that’s that large, you have to like, learn how to like to get your perfect search terms and, you know, we probably are training it to give you things you would like. Yeah. So almost all the furniture in my house, that’s not an antique is from Wayfair. I used to like, love shopping in Anthropologie, but oh my god, I had the experience from hell last year. So I don’t know if I would ever again like to buy furniture. Oh yeah, you did have a bad, it was like from hell. It was not good, but I also think like the style, like I love anthropology for everything else besides furniture, but like actually our little pink chairs are from there. So, you know, whatever I can eat my words. 

Emma: I like Ikea. And I think if you’re planning some kind of hack, we have a number of really good hacks on our site DIY is where you buy bookshelves and you make them look like built-ins, things like that. I think it’s a nice site, but I’ve had some bad times with it too, so I’m always kind of like 50/50 on Ikea. It depends on what you want to do. 

Elsie: I think if you’re gonna customize it, go for it. I’ve had personally really good experiences with the things I bought from there, and I think it also gets like a bad rep. I think people think it’s all gonna fall apart, and that wasn’t my experience at all. I thought it was perfectly fine, but I think if you want it to be, like, unique and original and custom looking, then you obviously have to, like, do something to it, paint it, trim it out, whatever. But yeah, I feel like it’s kind of weird, like, I don’t have, like, a special, special, like, I thought I would have more furniture places that were, like, Interesting. But I really don’t. It’s really like mostly flea markets and then the same few stores. 

Emma: I think that makes it where it is interesting, but it’s like one of those things where it’s like I can’t link where, you know, everybody loves this certain thing in your house and you’re like, Oh, I can’t link it. I bought it at a flea market or I got it in a state sale, you know, but that is kind of what makes it interesting. I’ll say too, like, in my house, a lot of my rugs, not all of them, but a lot are either from Rugs USA or eBay. I get a lot of eBay stuff. 

Elsie: We should do a rugs episode, but yeah, like, real fast, I have the most incredible rugs from Etsy. I’ll link them in the show notes. And also, I buy a lot of rugs from Rifle Paper. Like, which is so random. It’s pretty random, but they have great sales and they have amazing rugs that fit into historic spaces, at really affordable prices. And they have these ones that are like, they’re called printed rugs where it’s like, they’re totally flat. They’re really good for pet-friendly spaces and high-traffic spaces. And they’re really affordable and they just like look good. I’m very passionate about rugs. I think that I’m a little bit more careful about which ones I buy, because when you’ve had like a bad pet experience or like, you know what I mean? I’m very careful now. So the other thing I look for is natural fibers. So anything that is like the vintage rugs on Etsy and eBay cannot be beat as far as like ability to clean them. I would like not to buy a new rug that, you know, there’s certain brands that like have new rugs that look vintage and like they have them at Target and other places like that. To me, like don’t buy one of those because you can’t clean them and they’re made of synthetic materials and they just like turn bad so fast compared to like these vintage rugs that have been there for a hundred years. And a lot of times the price is cheaper. I think it’s just scary to buy them. And to be fair I did have one really, really bad Etsy experience, so I don’t know, like, it can happen. 

Emma: I mean, eBay is the same way. It’s different sellers, so you can have a bad experience or like, it’s very different from the photo. 

Elsie: Overall, I would say it’s worth the risk. My favorite rug that I’m going to link in the show notes, it’s in my living room and it’s also a stair runner on our stairs going up to the third floor. And it is like, you can order it in any size. So it’s wool. It’s a natural fiber. It’s easy to clean. It doesn’t shed. You can order it in any size. There’s literally no downside. It’s like you can customize it and it looks vintage. So, rug rant. I mean, seriously, someday we’ll do a rug episode because it’s so fun. Let’s talk about tips for painting and customizing furniture. I remember when we bought our first home, just like doing the down payment sort of like clearing out all of our savings. I think that that’s very normal. We were in our twenties, you know, and it was our first home. So then, you know, you’re left with this larger, mostly empty home that you need to furnish. So I think it’s a great opportunity to get creative and thrift and also make use of things you already have and try to basically paint everything and it works. It really, really works. First of all, if you’re going to paint furniture, we have the ultimate blog post. It is called the Best Paint for Kitchen Cabinets. And I have used this tutorial over and over again. Obviously, if you’re going to paint kitchen cabinets, please use it. Don’t ever, ever, ever paint your kitchen cabinets without sanding and priming them, and don’t use regular wall paint. It’s like the saddest thing I ever did in my life and I did do that once.

It’s actually not that much more work, it’s just getting the correct supplies and doing it, it’s a little bit more work, but it’s so worth it. I’ve used it a bunch of times. I’ve painted our bathroom cabinets, and then I also use it every time I paint furniture, especially chairs. And high traffic furniture, like chairs and tables, those, you need to do this because there’s a huge difference between hard drying paint and painting a piece of furniture with wall paint, which could get, like, tacky, it usually peels off, and if you like that e, but you probably won’t.

Emma: I think there’s a difference between like, I wanted this to look more shabby chic cottagecore versus, oh no I didn’t and it’s just peeling now, you know, like those are two really different things. To me, painting the right way, quote-unquote is kind of like baking. It’s like, you really should do it right, because otherwise your end result is just not going to be as good, and you put in most of the effort. So if you just do that extra little bit, that’s like, all the way, do it, then it turns out the way that you’re wanting. So it’s worth it. It’s really, really worth it. And it’s maybe a little bit more effort, but it’s really worth it. Or a little bit more money to buy the right supply or whatever, but you just don’t want to get to the end of your project and it’s like, I did put in a lot of work, but it’s not quite what I wanted. You know, the paint’s peeling, or in baking, you’re like, oh, these cookies didn’t rise, they spread like crazy. And it’s like, well, if you had just softened the butter or just chilled it for the 30 minutes that it said, then, you know, it’s like that kind of thing. Where it’s like, yes, it’s a little more effort, but it’s probably worth it.

Elsie: A life filled with regrets, yeah. The other thing I love to do is spray paint. And I think there is like a good case, like spray paint can be good. It’s really fast. And I do think you have to be a little bit of a perfectionist to get like it perfect. I have some issues with that, but I love the Rust-Oleum brand spray paint. That’s what I usually use. And I think the best place for it is, so we have a big porch and we bought porch furniture and we bought half of it from places like Wayfair where it came like bright, shiny, new looking really white. And then we bought half of it from Marketplace, where it looked, like, comparatively, when you sat them next to each other, like, really gray, and kind of, like, crappy?

Yeah, I just used, like, the white Rust-Oleum spray paint, and it was the most satisfying one-day project. 

Emma: Is this like, wicker furniture? Yeah! Or like, okay. 

Elsie: Yeah, wicker. And like, everything looks the same now. And they’re sitting right next to each other, you don’t really like, notice a difference. So I think for stuff like that, outdoor furniture, small pieces, low traffic pieces, like a table or chairs, I would still do it the other way. Another good thing to spray paint is like, metals, things that like, you’re not the finish of them. So a lot of times when I buy a light fixture that’s supposed to be gold, it’s like not the gold I was expecting. This is very common, but I’ve kind of found that it’s like, it’s worth it and really not that hard to just, spray paint it. If I just want a different finish. 

Emma: It almost refreshes it as opposed to, cause there, there are times I think you think of spray paint and you’re like, I spray painting this thing to like a neon pink. It’s a completely different color than it was before. And it’s like, yeah, that’s a vibe. And there are other times you can use spray paint. It almost just kind of refreshes the piece and that’s a whole thing too. And it’s really nice because spray paint is very cheap. And if you do a nice job with it and go slow, then you’ve really just kind of refreshed and sealed something as opposed to, you know, having to, I don’t even know what you would do to restore it otherwise.

Elsie: Okay, so let’s recount the craziest things we’ve ever done to alter a piece of furniture to fit our space. I know mine is that I painted a couch. 

Emma: Oh, the green couch? 

Elsie: Yeah. Okay, to be fair, it wasn’t high traffic. It was more like a side bench. 

Emma: Yeah, like an entryway bench kind of thing. 

Elsie: It was so fun, it was worth it, it’s probably still somewhere on the blog archives. It was a learning experience. And I think that when you buy thrifted furniture, you can take a risk like that. It’s like, worst case scenario, it ends up looking like something in Urban Outfitters. You know, how they have like, kinda crazy furniture? And the best-case scenario, it ends up looking new. And like, something that’s way more expensive than it really is. So I think it’s worth it to just like, try. The other thing that we did was we just bought, like, any chair we saw at a thrift store, and then we just painted them all yellow with bright yellow Rust-Oleum, and it looked really cute! It was probably one of my, like, proudest Cheap ass DIYs because it looked like it was meant to be that way and it cost almost nothing.

Emma: Yeah. I think our styles have changed too over time. So, I mean, that’s kind of part of it too is like, Oh, I wouldn’t do that pattern now, but I would still stencil a wall. And yeah, when you don’t have the budget for wallpaper. Learning to paint an accent wall with or by hand, depending on what the design is, I think is really smart and like kind of the option, kind of the move. Yeah. So other tips for other things. So like let’s say this one’s so simple, but you’ve moved, you already bought your couch, you cannot afford to get a different couch or you at least have to have this one for a while and it really doesn’t go with your new space.

Really, throw pillows and throw blankets are your best friend. 

Elsie: I would also say slipcovers. I love slipcovers. 

Emma: Yeah, it depends on the couch, definitely, if you can do a slipcover. 

Elsie: I think that they look cool. Like, I would try to talk my husband into it, and it’s like the one thing that he’s still holding out on me for. I’ll eventually I will have the slipcover couches because they’re very Nancy Meyers. They’re in every Nancy Meyers movie, and I feel like that’s very affordable. 

Emma: I also love throw pillows and throw blankets for seasonal decor, like swapping them out for Halloween and Christmas ones at different times of year. I also think they’re a great way if you’re on a really, really tight budget, but want to support small businesses like Justina’s company. Then that might be something maybe you can’t buy the piece of furniture that you’d like to buy, you know, one day you will, but maybe not this year. Then you can buy throw pillows, throw blankets, accent pieces, you know, kitchenware. And this stuff can add a lot of personality to your space. And especially if you have other bigger items that you can’t really afford to replace or you need to bring from your old house or whatever. And you’re like, one day I’ll replace this. I think you should think that too. Like so much when I was younger, I had the mindset of, we just moved in and I want to get the whole house set up in the first month. And now I really don’t think that way. I kind of think like, this is my house for an indefinite amount of time and I’m going to make it beautiful the whole time I’m here. 

Elsie: The other day I heard Emma say, this house will look great when I’m 45.

Emma: And I’m currently 38 like that’s more of my mindset now. And I think there’s a certain level of you have to have enough things in your home where it’s functional. You can use the spaces you have, you know like if you work from your home, you need a desk. You can’t just sit on the floor. Maybe you can, but I cannot sit on the floor every day and work on my laptop. That’s going to kill my back. You’re going to have to kind of fill it in maybe for a while, there are moments like that. I also think taking a longer view of your home, even if you’re a person who does move a lot, maybe you know because of your job or your partner’s job or whatever, you’re often in places two to five years. Then I think collecting things that are just meaningful to you and also recognizing that some of that’s going to just change over time. You’re just, you’re a snake who’s shedding their skin. You’re beautiful and new every, every time, and you’re a Facebook marketplace. That’s great too. Like I just don’t think that it really helps anyone to have a mindset of I just moved in and everything has to be perfect and fully decorated like a 60-year-old the first month because it’s like, okay, well, that may not fit your budget, that may not fit your time. You might have to work and care for your kids. You don’t have time to the flea market every single day. 

Elsie: Even if you have an unlimited budget, I don’t think it’s possible. Maybe if your standards are really low, but if your standards are high, I don’t think it’s possible to finish a house in a month. I mean, at least I couldn’t do it. I think that if you value that, like, collected look, you have to collect, you know, and I think if you try to rush, you’ll end up with pieces that you bought just because you were having guests over or, you know, and that you don’t really love, which is I think a mistake. I think it’s worth it. Yeah, get the main stuff. Maybe even like do one space the way you really want it, but don’t try to do it all. So I think just like give yourself more of a longer timeline. And I understand how hard that is because I definitely always think I can do it faster than I really can, but you know, maybe you’ll learn the hard way like I did.

Emma: It’s definitely a mindset shift. I think it’s a good thing to have in your mind because a lot of times we’ll get questions from listeners, from readers that are like, what do you do if you’ve painted and now you realize it’s the wrong color? Do you just cut your losses and immediately repaint or do you leave it for a while? Or they’re in a situation where they don’t really have the budget to redo the whole, like maybe it was kitchen cabinets and it’s like, you know, kind of pricey or maybe their partners like, no, you have to live with this for a while or something. Then I kind of think it’s good to be like, okay, how about I will repaint it in two years. Is that a good compromise zone? Cause you know, if you’re going to need to hire someone, if it’s something like that kind of job, or if you’re just going to have to rebuy the supplies and it’s not in your budget for this month, cause you just did it last month. 

Elsie: You’re a master compromiser. 

Emma: How can I just make this cute for a little while? And in my mind, I know in two years, I will redo this because it wasn’t the right thing. And by then you may have a whole different thing you want to do anyway. So it’ll work out. 

Elsie: Yeah. No, we have that situation in our house right now. No matter how much you plan once in a while, that’s going to happen. And I think it’s good to just know that it’s not you. It’s just a part of the process that, you know, sometimes you do something and it just doesn’t turn out. There’s just something about it that you didn’t plan for, or there’s something about it that just doesn’t work. So, favorite fabrics for sofas and couches. This one’s simple for me. I love the leather for myself. I understand if you’re vegan, I get it, but I love leather because it’s super duper cleanable. Like, my dogs will straight up pee a river on my couch. Like, they just, just horrible things have happened. Like, one time Jeremy spilled, like, not even, like, Chinese food, but just, like, it was more like a pile of grease. It was, like, you know what I mean? Just straight oil. Things have happened that weren’t good, and our sofas, like, still look, it’s almost like washing your hair, like, when it’s a natural thing, it is possible to get it all the way out, and that is really meaningful to me, and since I’m not a perfectionist, and the other thing is, I like how they age. I love how they age. I like, they look better when they’re old than they do when they’re new, which is hard to say about a lot of things. 

Emma: Yeah, I agree. Yeah. I kind of already talked about my article couches that are leather and how I think they look better now than when we first got them and they’re much older now and have spots and crinkles. And I just think they look good though. They look like they’re meant to be. Yeah, and then, yeah, natural, as much as you can, natural fibers and things as opposed to basically plastic synthetics that don’t always, you can’t always get stains out, and you can’t always wash. And then, too, like, I think things that have, like, a slight variation to them, like some kind of speckle, or even velvet, how it kind of, like, changes as you touch it.

Elsie: Oh, I have some velvet notes. Velvet is tricky. This is just my opinion. Take it or leave it. So I think that velvet looks really good when it’s emulating an antique. So like when it’s tufted, it looks amazing. When it’s structured, it looks amazing. When it is on a modern sofa, I think that it ages badly fast. It’s hard for velvet to be sleek. Like, it’s almost always gonna be saggy at some point, so I think you have to find the right design that, like, hides that or looks good with that, and, like, I had one once that I had to return so fast. It was sort of modern-looking. I would never again with a modern velvet sofa.

Emma: To me, what’s one of the good things about velvet, I like how it feels too, but that it has this kind of variation in color to it, which I think works in your favor if you get a minor stain or just a little bit of wear and tear or a little bit of sagginess. It works in the favor, whereas something modern is meant to look perfect, all of a sudden I think velvet starts to look flawed immediately, which is not what you want.

Elsie: I like cleaning velvet. I think, like, seems pretty trendy, like green velvet or pink velvet. I’ve had both of those and I thought they both, like, look amazing in photos. It feels good, so I get why people are attracted to it, but it’s not as easy to clean or as forgiving over time, it is still synthetic fabric. So you just have to accept that. 

Emma: I have a lot of velvet curtains in my home. 

Elsie: And there’s a lot of historic furniture, like tufted, you know, like that are velvet and, or pretty much, and they are gorgeous. So I think that it can be really timeless. I think just be careful with the style. And also, I would go with a darker color, probably. I think this is the last one. Your favorite piece of furniture that you own. That’s kind like, kind of sentimental. 

Emma: Yeah. I’ve talked about a number of pieces that are, like, very durable, or they’re, like, more pricey, and I think they’ve been worth it. But as far as, like, if I had to just pick a favorite piece, I think I would have to go with this piano that’s, like, Trey’s family piano that we got from his parents. It’s just very sentimental. It’s like the piano that was in his home growing up and he also plays it all the time and then Oscar will play it with him. And we now have like a little children’s electric piano that sits next to it that Oscar will sometimes play when his dad plays piano. I don’t know, it’s just like a piece that fills our house with music, and it’s a piece from his childhood. It’s like an old upright. It’s not necessarily a woodgrain or a style that I naturally would have picked, but I feel like it fits in our home.

Elsie: If you want to send it over to my home, I think, just kidding. It is very beautiful.

Emma: I don’t know. It just fits me, even though it’s not like the exact style.

Elsie: It’s because you made it fit though. 

Emma: Yeah. I was like, this is like a sentimental piece and you know, it has art on it that I think makes it work in our space and blah, blah, blah. But I just like it, and I think I like that it fills our house with music. And my husband plays it and our son likes to kind of bang on it and like sit with his dad and play and it’s really cute. And yeah, it’s a special piece. 

Elsie: Our kids are in piano now and it’s the greatest thing ever. 

Emma: I know. I want to put him on the piano one day. But we’ll see if he wants to, but you know. 

Elsie: It’s a big commitment at first, I will say. It’s kind of, you’re lucky if you’re the parent who doesn’t know how to play piano because that makes you, not the practicing parent.

Emma: I know. I’m like, what do I do? Sit there with the metronome? I don’t know. 

Elsie: You won’t be the practicing parent. 

Emma: I’ll be the driving parent who drives them to the lesson. 

Elsie: That’s me. Okay. My favorite pieces that we own are somewhat custom. So first of all, this one fireplace, because I found it in the Facebook marketplace. It’s an antique. Someone brought it all the way from Arkansas in their truck to my home, which was like the greatest thing ever. Like, you know, that just doesn’t happen on Facebook marketplace.

Emma: We’re like two hours from Arkansas. 

Elsie: Yeah. I thought it was very generous. 

Emma: Oh yeah, no. Yeah. I’m just trying to tell people how far we are from Arkansas.

Elsie: Not as far as you would think. Yeah. And also I have a couple of custom fireplaces. So the one in our living room that if you look at my Instagram, you can’t miss it because I post about it like every day. And then there’s another one in our bedroom where I tried to emulate the fireplace from Rosemary’s Baby, it’s my favorite movie. You know, I did it as a comfort re-watch. I probably talked about it a lot in that episode, but it was actually really complicated, that one. It like, looks simple, but it has these like, beveled edges that were a whole thing. So anyway, and then we also did a custom kitchen island this last year, right before we moved in and it’s pretty much the only thing I like about my kitchen and I love it. I love it so much. It is very Nancy Meyers and we’re keeping it forever. The whole rest of the kitchen will eventually be gutted, except for the island will always be there. One more, we have one piece of furniture that we’ve had in every home since our first home. It’s actually in the basement right now, but it is a wicker chair, a hanging wicker chair. And I bought it from Amazon, which is so funny like it looks like the 70s one, but I think it’s new. We’ve hung it in every single home, and I think I’m going to use it in our pool house this time when we eventually build that and it’s sort of like sentimental because every other piece has changed and we’ve moved way too much but it’s like the one thing that endured so I feel like I have to keep it always no matter what. Okay, so now without further ado, it’s time for Joker Facts with Nova. Hey Nova, what do you have for us this week? 

Nova: I have a joke. 

Elsie: A joke. Okay, I’m ready. 

Nova: Why did Rudolph attend summer school? 

Elsie: Why? 

Nova: Because he wanted to go down in history. 

Elsie: Ah, that’s a good one. I love it. 

Nova: Thanks. 

Elsie: All right. Thank you so much for listening. You can submit questions anytime at podcast@abeautifulmess.com or you can call our voicemail. The number for that is 417-893-0011. We’ll be back next week with our spring bucket list episode and our book report on The Only One Left by Riley Sager.

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Show Notes:

Nova’s Girl Scout Cookies

Decor inspiration:

Granny Wendy’s House

The children’s bedroom: a balcony with windows that open so you can step out, antique vibe, dollhouse, beds with canopies, fort that they built, cool old crystal chandeliers, tasteful and interesting wallpaper, and historical stuff.

Granny Wendy’s bedroom: every inch of the wall was covered in art and gold frames.

Little touches throughout house with hints for movies: ship in bottle that is Captain Hook’s ship, lots of candles, and lots of frames.

Lost Boys Treehouse Compound

More a fantasy playground to take your kids to

Not something you would want in your yard

Long table, skateboard ramp, zip lines, sling shot, and their own sleeping quarters

Captain Hook’s Cabin

Fireplace with creepy cravings

Little miniatures

Lots of collections: vintage mirrors and shoes

Dropdown bed

Oil painting of himself

Other cozy inspiration (fashion, food, drink or anything?)

Amazing costumes, especially the baseball uniforms

Magical mermaids

Rate this movie from 0 to 5 Hooks

Emma – 12 hooks for visual but 3 crocodile burps for storyline

Elsie – 6 hooks

Miss an Episode? Get Caught Up!

• Episode #221: Finding Joy in the Little Things
• Episode #220: You Got Questions, We Got Answers
• Episode #219: Elsie’s Adoption Story

Episode 222 Transcript:

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Elsie: You’re listening to the Beautiful Mess Podcast, your cozy, comfort listen. Today, we’re rewatching the 1991 movie Hook, starring Robin Williams and Dustin Hoffman, and directed by Steven Spielberg. I’m so excited. I love this movie. This is one of my favorite movies from my own childhood and I absolutely constantly push it on my children. So I think it had to be done. Goldie was actually, we were watching it yesterday to prep for this and she asked me, she said, isn’t your podcast for grownups? And she was like, why are you watching a kid’s movie? 

Emma: That’s a good question, Goldie. Yeah. Very perceptive of you. 

Elsie: I know, right? But I mean, I feel like if you’re a millennial person, you grew up with Hook. Probably. I hope you did. If not, I’m sorry because it’s in some way society failed you because it really is the ultimate. 

Emma: It is unhinged in all the best possible ways. And there’s so many famous people in it. It is just famous person, famous person, famous person. It’s crazy. So great movie. So if you haven’t seen it, here’s a synopsis. Basically it’s Peter Pan grown up and he has forgotten that he was Peter Pan and Captain Hook comes back and kidnaps his children and Peter Pan has to go back to Neverland. Remember who he was. He’s Peter Pan. He can fly. He can fight. He can crow and save his children from Captain Hook. And Captain Hook, meanwhile, is low key trying to get the kids to love him because he thinks that it will make Peter Pan jealous and sad. And that’s pretty much the plot of the movie. It is a two and a half hour movie though, for how short that plot is. This is like one of the longest kids movies that I can think of. 

Elsie: Yeah, I think it actually is one of the longest kids movies of all time. I mean that is very long. I watched it in like three settings, and I didn’t even get finished all the way. But I watched it last year, so I felt like I was close enough. 

Emma: We planned, my husband and I, we were like, okay, as soon as Oscar goes down, make a fast dinner and start this movie because it is long, and we are tired. We cannot stay up till midnight watching Hook so, had to get started. It’s long, it’s a long one.

Elsie: Okay, memories from when you first watched this movie. So we had this movie on a VHS tape as children. So it was very repeated. We kind of had like The Robin Williams collection, like, pretty much this one and Mrs. Doubtfire, though, are for me like my very frequently rewatched, so, I probably watched it like a hundred times in life, you know, because when you’re a little kid, at least in the 1990s, in the era before Disney Plus, you just rewatched the movies that you owned so many times. 

Emma: Yeah, I feel like we had, like, eight VHS tapes of kids stuff that we watched was like Little Giants, Hook, Mrs. DoubtFire, Sister Act 1, Sister Act 2, Rookie of the Year, you know, and the reason I remember them is because we watched them so many times because you would just rewind them. And then watch them again because you didn’t have streaming. That wasn’t how TV worked back then. 

Elsie: Yeah. I think that when I think back to my childhood, me watching this, I had a lot of attention towards Tinkerbell. And like Julia Roberts’ little Tinkerbell, and not as much now. Now I feel like it’s more like equally spread out through all the characters, but yeah, it’s a beautiful movie. I don’t think as children, we really appreciate that, but one of the reasons we wanted to do it for the podcast, it really is like a beautiful interior design movie. So if you need something to watch with your kid, that also is beautiful for you, and can keep your attention in some way, this is something we recommend.

Emma: Yeah. Visually, this movie is a 10 out of 10 or more. It’s just incredible. All the costumes, all the interiors, all the props, everything about the visuals is incredible. It looks like they made it like a Disney world and filmed at it. You know what I mean? It’s crazy. And yeah, as a kid, the two things that I remember sticking out to me was there’s a scene where a character gets in trouble with Captain Hook. He thinks that they’re a traitor and they put him in a box and they call it a boo box and they put a scorpion in with them in this chest box. I remember as a kid thinking that was so scary and as an adult, I also think it is so scary. I also like for whatever reason in the early 90s, scorpions were a bit of a thing because I think there’s a scorpion in one of the Honey I Shrunk the Kids movies. And it’s very scary too. So I remember being very scared of scorpions as a kid, even though it wasn’t like something that we really have in Missouri. I don’t even think we have them at all around here. 

Elsie: Yeah. No, Nova has watched all the Honey I Shrunk the Kids recently. And I will say we’re not going to do them in a rewatch probably. But I highly recommend them. I do think they aged well and they’re still just as good, like very good. 

Emma: And then the other scene I loved as a kid and still love now that I think holds up for all the love that I had for it is the food fight scene. It’s kind of the scene where Peter Pan is becoming himself again, because he can’t see they’re having a feast and he can’t see it. It’s like a make believe feast. But then as the scene goes on, he starts to see the food. And it’s kind of the moment that in the movie where he’s becoming childlike again, he can see the things that the children see. And so it’s this special thing in the movie, but visually it’s like, the food is kind of made out of paint. It almost looks like they just like acrylic painted like pies and colored whipped cream. And so they have this food fight that the food doesn’t really look like real food necessarily, but it’s extremely colorful and it mostly all looks like whip cream.

Elsie: It’s paintball food.

Emma: Yeah, it’s like paintball food, but it’s really fun and it’s the most beautiful food fight scene. And as a kid, I remember thinking like, man, I really want to have a food fight. That looks so fun. Like it was like the best. 

Elsie: Yeah. I love that. Oh my gosh. 

Emma: I love it. 

Elsie: Okay. So we’re going to really break down the decor inspiration from this movie. So anything we would use in our own home, which to me was a shocker, but I do have some love, hate, strong reactions, et cetera. Okay. So the three main like spaces that I feel like are the keys. Tell me if you think I’m missing any are Granny Wendy’s house in London. And the Lost Boys treehouse in Neverland, and Captain Hook’s cabin on the pirate ship in Neverland. Is there anything else you think? 

Emma: No I think those are the ones, like, those are the spaces I think of for sure. So Granny Wendy’s house, it’s in London, so they’ve gone on an airplane and they’re in London now and the premise is kind of like they haven’t been here in like 10 years or something, they haven’t seen her in a long time. When they walk into her house, it’s like the moment where I was like, oh yeah, this is a Christmas movie, cause it’s like Christmas time, they’re visiting her for Christmas. And there’s a tree up, and like, so her house is a little bit decorated for Christmas, but I feel like you can see what it would be decorated all year round too. But yeah, so if you also want a low key Christmas movie, I think this fits the bill.  Turns out it’s Christmas at the beginning of the movie. 

Elsie: That’s a cool observation. Okay, so the two parts in her house that I was very, like, focused on are the children’s bedroom and also Grandma Wendy’s bedroom. So, first we’ll do the children’s bedroom. I mean the children’s bedroom is like the most magical part of Peter Pan besides Neverland. Like it’s always magical because it’s like this high up like lofty bedroom with a balcony. It always has a balcony. It always has windows that you can open up and walk out of. 

Emma: So Peter Pan can fly and go to the nursery because that’s the premise of the old story.

Elsie: Yeah, and this one is very beautiful with wood details, lots of like an antique vibe and it has a doll house. It has beds with a canopy, like a fort that they’ve built. It’s perfect. I mean, I think it’s like the ultimate children’s bedroom, so I loved it. I would take all of that for my own house. There’s nothing about it that I wouldn’t accept. 

Emma: I think it would fit in your house too. It’s more grandma and less spooky than your house, but it’s a lot of the same stuff. Like really cool old crystal chandeliers, really tasteful, interesting wallpaper, historical stuff. Like, yeah, I could see Goldie living in that kid’s bedroom and liking it. Although she’d be like, where’s all the princess stuff? I need more princess stuff, but it’s kind of close. 

Elsie: So yeah, we can put a few extra princess things in there. Okay, and then the other room that just, like, threw me was Grandma Wendy’s bedroom. So in the scene where they, like, the children have just disappeared, they’re, like, laying in her bed all together, just, like, talking about, like, what to do. Her bedroom is so good, and I was like, I think I can use all of these ideas for my own bedroom. Because, just like, the way the bed was situated with the tables and the wallpaper and everything, it kind of looked like I could translate it. And, so the thing that was special about it, that I think my bedroom’s missing now is that kind of like every inch of the wall was covered with art and like gold frames. Like it was just really full and it made me realize that maybe mine is like a little bit too empty for what I really want. 

Emma: Well, she’s a grandma. 

Elsie: True. 

Emma: It takes a lifetime to curate that kind of collection, but you know, you can try to do it in the next year. I know how you will. 

Elsie: I can and I will. Yeah. 

Emma: Kind of throughout the house like both those rooms and then kind of the downstairs They show us that just like little details of knick knacks and things because the house is very full But they’ll show like a ship that’s inside of a bottle and you realize later that it looks just like Captain Hook’s ship. I thought there’s lots of little I don’t know if they’re really Easter eggs, but definitely like the set designers were like, this is Wendy’s house, and she’s been to Neverland a bunch of times. So a lot of her tiny knick knack decor is going to kind of reflect some Neverland things, and it does, and it’s really cute. It’s kind of like the Home Alone house in that way where there’s a lot of little things that you don’t realize until you’re really looking and then you’re like, Oh. 

Elsie: It’s similar to the Home Alone house, but just a little more antiquey because the Home Alone house, it’s very 90s. Yeah, like very 80s, 90s. And this one is a little more historic. But it does have that, like, full, rich feeling with, like, lots of candles, lots of frames, lots of, you know, just details. And I think that that’s probably, like, one of the top things that I’m attracted to, like, why I can’t identify as a minimalist. Even though I wish I could be just like I like things so full. 

Emma: There’s nothing in you that’s minimalist. 

Elsie: Well, I mean, I want to be like I want to be less wasteful, you know so like I want like the minimalist mindset, but I actually want like a maximalist home. 

Emma: Granny Wendy has a maximalist home and it’s Yeah. 

Elsie: I think I’m going to take a screenshot of her bedroom and just finish off my bedroom exactly the same because it’s so perfect. So yeah, when you’re watching, catch that bedroom and you’ll see exactly what I mean. I don’t know. I feel like there’s like this special thing when there’s art even like behind the lamps, you know what I mean? Yeah, like it’s just very full because right now it’s like I have my whole bed and on that whole wall and the walls beside it all there is one painting above our bed and now I know that is not good. 

Emma: Your bedroom could go more. Yeah, the fireplaces 10 out of 10.

Elsie: Yeah. I love it. Okay. So do you want to do the treehouse?

Emma: Yeah, let’s talk about the treehouse. Which is actually, I feel like, misleading because it’s really more of a series of treehouses. It’s more like a little community of treehouses.

Elsie: Let’s call it a treehouse compound. 

Emma: I want to know if there’s a treehouse HOA and you have to adhere to certain things when you move in.

Elsie: It is very consistent, so I think there probably is. 

Emma: Yeah, oh yeah. There’s some kind of something going on there. 

Elsie: Okay, so for me, like, the treehouse is one of, I mean, it is like the most epic, like, set of the movie. There’s nothing from it I would use in my home. It’s more like what you would want for like a fantasy playground that you could like take your kids to, you wouldn’t necessarily want it in your yard or anything, but like, it’s so big and magical and how they have, you know, they’re like long table where they can all eat together and it’s perfect. 

Emma: It has like skateboard ramps, it has zip lines, it has this like slingshot that they’re trying to help him remember how to fly and it just shoots him into this big like pool of paint basically. But they each kind of have their own little sleeping quarters. It’s like they have their own little treehouse section that’s like where their bed is and where they sleep at night because it shows them all waking up in the morning because they’re like, Peter Pan’s here. He’s back. But then they find out it’s just old Robin Williams and they’re like, he doesn’t remember us. But yeah, it’s an epic, epic treehouse compound. And I can see why none of the kids want to go home because it looks so fun. Just play all day and just be little monkeys out there for sure. 

Elsie: Yeah, it’s incredible. I think it would make a good, like, thing at a theme park or something, you know, to make, like, that into, like, a giant playground that you can climb on and zip line. My kids love a zip line. 

Emma: It has to have a skate ramp somewhere for kids who know how to skateboard because it’s a big part of it. There’s a basketball section where they’re playing basketball. Yeah, it’s just, it’s cute. It is like a weird playground, like a weird playground where they sleep in the trees. It’s so cute. And you see Rufio, you see the clock that Tinkerbell sleeps in. What else? There’s just a lot of like moments around the tree house area that are very epic. I already mentioned the food fight, but I feel like that’s like a big scene in the movie. And yeah, it’s an epic part of the movie for sure.

Elsie: Ah! Yeah, I love it. Okay, so I have this, like, happy memory before our grandma, Carina, passed away a few years ago, she kind of like had these like grand ideas, like one of the things I loved about her was she just got these like very intense, sort of like, borderline fantasy ideas of things she wanted to do for real and I think I inherited that trait from her. Yeah. It’s very like, I don’t know, it always made me happy, but one of the last things I remember that she was talking about was that she wanted to build another, so she lived in a log cabin that she built herself and it was beautiful. I would say like a medium sized log cabin, like it wasn’t small. It wasn’t a big mansion. It was like, you know, three bedrooms or something. And she said that she wanted to build another cabin and then she wanted it to be accessed through a bridge in the air. And I was like, oh my gosh, like this is, that was the thing about her that I like most treasured was just like, I don’t know, it’s like she was still a little kid in her heart. Like, she was a dreamer. And I wanna be that way. I admire that about her. 

Emma: I admire that about her, too. It’s fun, dreaming up till the end. 

Elsie: Yeah. I wish that I would’ve made her draw a picture, though, because the way I imagined it probably wasn’t the way she meant it. But it might’ve been, I don’t know.

Emma: It makes me think about, like, when hospitals are connected, like, over a road with a bridge like that or something. And it actually is really cool. It’s fun to walk across, like, Oscar loves those kinds of things. Well, and I was like, are you gonna build the other cabin over the pond, so you need the bridge, so you walk over the pond, or the bridge just goes over nothing.

Elsie: What’s the point of the bridge? Yeah. 

Emma: Which is fine, but usually there’s a reason, like it goes over a road or something. 

Elsie: Anyway, it reminded me of a treehouse when I was thinking about it. And you know, like sometimes I go down one of those rabbit holes of like the treehouse cabins, you know. Like Airbnb, if you go on there, it starts like recommending things to you and then it’s like very easy to go down a rabbit hole for me.

Emma: I’m always looking at treehouse Airbnbs. It’s just interesting. 

Elsie: Yeah, I think that they’re really cool. So maybe one day. So let’s do Captain Hook’s cabin. This part was the part that really, like, shocked me. I was like, this is a vibe, and I would actually take everything in his cabin. Like, for my own home exactly. It’s a good vibe in there. And I wasn’t expecting to be like, I think I am Captain Hook. Like, decor wise. It was perfect. It was perfect. So it had a fireplace with creepy carvings, which you know is like one of my top of the tops. It had like little miniatures, which I love. And then he had just like a lot of collections. Like when he sits down and he has like eight vintage mirrors. It was like, oh my gosh, I think I’m him. 

Emma: All his shoes. And they’re all exactly the same, but they just show them lined up. It’s like, cool. Yeah. 

Elsie: , The drop down bed. Okay. So if you haven’t watched the bed, it comes down from the ceiling some way, somehow. It just has a pulley or something and a bed just sort of appears from the ceiling. So that part is really cool. A good solution. I’ve never seen anyone do that in a small apartment, but probably someone should. Even better than a Murphy bed. I mean, I think it might be better than a Murphy bed because you don’t have to use a wall on it. 

Emma: No. It just comes right down from the ceiling. So I think too, like his cabin feels like a little bit of a very fancy old man and later in the movie they kind of reveal that he’s even older than you might think he is. Like one of the things in Neverland is that you don’t age while you’re there. Although you kind of do. There’s some problems with that in the storyline. But that’s, you know, whatever. That’s besides the point. The idea behind Neverland is they’ve broken all the clocks because Captain Hook is scared of clocks because of the crocodile and time stands still. But you kind of see that Captain Hook has aged a lot and he is a fancy old man, which really matches his cabin and bedroom a lot. And his best friend, Schmittie.

Elsie: Yes. Best man, whatever he is. Yeah, it is a whole vibe, and I think it is my favorite interior in the movie, which is like a shocker, but so cool. Okay, the last thing I have down is he has an oil painting of himself. And I really think that if you want to be Knives Out aesthetic, which I do, that’s like the number one thing you have to have. So I think it’s time for me to put that on my list. And I want one for everyone in my family, not just myself, but like, I want an antique looking oil painting of our family members so bad. So I have to make that happen. 

Emma: We were at a museum over the weekend and it had like old, you know, oil paintings, you know, as a museum. And they had some kids ones. And I was like, oh my gosh, you have to get something of your girls. Cause I was picturing Marigold, looking kind of like a little queen to be in her portrait cause she will. She’s dressed like that every day anyway. And I just think it’s so timeless and weird and cool. And yeah, it’s a thing to cherish forever. 

Elsie: It’s definitely a move. So I’m excited to do it. It’s just so rare in this day and age, people don’t just commission oil paintings of their family anymore. Not enough. 

Emma: They really don’t. 

Elsie: Okay, well, I commit to it. Everyone, you can hold me accountable, I promise.

Emma: Also dogs, I think we need more oil paintings of dogs too, in my opinion. 

Elsie: I like that. Or if you’re a cat person, whatever. Okay, other cozy inspirations. Was there any fashion, food, drink, anything else? 

Emma: Ido think the costumes in this movie are incredible. Whoever the costume designer, the whole department, they did a beautiful job. Some of my favorites, though, is actually the scene where they kind of set up this baseball game because Captain Hook is trying to win over Jack and he plays baseball and like his dad didn’t show up. Peter Pan didn’t show up to his last baseball game and it’s like showing what a bad father he is like he’s not involved in his kids’ lives. So anyway, Captain Hook sets up this baseball game to kind of have a moment with him and the outfits that the other pirates are wearing it’s like an old timey Baseball outfit. They’re like red velvet and just way over the top ridiculous. I was like, every costume in this movie is bananas and so good. It’s like they went hard with the costumes. I love the Tinkerbell dress outfit. I love her street wear too. And I feel like if we don’t mention the mermaids at some point, then we’ve really missed the mark on the Hook episode. 

Elsie: Oh yeah. Marigold walked in while we were watching the mermaids and then she wanted me to keep rewinding it.

Emma: Yeah, their makeup, their hair. I mean, they’re underwater, so I don’t know exactly how they accomplished all that. I remember as a kid thinking like, wow, these mermaids look so cool because they’re really colorful and different looking than mermaids in other movies, I guess.

Elsie: Yeah, I think they are the best mermaids ever. Very magical. Okay, I’m into the total aesthetic. Like, the beginning of the movie where they’re just, like, boring rich parents, I’m into that aesthetic. I’m into the ending, I’m into all of it. I think it’s just, like, I don’t know, like, the perfect, like, mix of, like, traditional and whimsical. And, you know, I, like, tried to do a Peter Pan theme in one of our rooms, but then it didn’t work out because the chandelier wouldn’t fit. 

Emma: Yeah. 

Elsie: And then I had to move it. But maybe I should do a Peter Pan theme in a different place. I don’t know.  Or it can just be spread out throughout. True. Just a little bit everywhere, like Grandma Wendy. I think I could identify that way. Okay. 

Emma: Because you kept the ship chandelier, so it’s already around. 

Elsie: 100%. I mean, it’s a big part of my personality. It’s a big chandelier. Everyone behold, if you come into my home, you will get the tour. You will see the ship.You will not miss it. Okay. Is there anything else? 

Emma: I mean as we’ve mentioned I think visually this movie is off the charts for me. Like it’s just beautiful sets, beautiful costumes, even down to like Rufio’s hair, how they change Peter Pan’s hair once he transforms and remembers who he is like Robin Williams hair. They really go for it. And I love it so much. And as much as I gush about this movie and love this movie, I would also have to point out that I think that there are some problems with the story. I kind of feel like it could have taken like one more draft. It’s just a little strange. So one the movie’s pretty long for a kid’s movie, but as I was watching it, I was like, okay I’m gonna think through what I would cut if I was gonna try to get this down to be two hours instead of two and a half and there really isn’t a lot of scenes. Like it kind of does all fit in there pretty good. So it’s sort of surprising in that way. I would probably cut the scene where Tinkerbell becomes large and she basically hits on Peter Pan. So I feel like it doesn’t make sense with the rest of what her character does throughout the movie, where she’s basically helping him to get his kids back. And then she has this moment where she’s like oh, you’re Peter Pan again and you kind of forgotten your kids. Maybe I’ll hit on you. It’s just this kind of like what are you doing.

Elsie: Just gonna see what happens.

Emma: I Feel like they just wanted to show her dress. It’s the one time in the movie where she becomes life size and she has this beautiful like princess dress on. And it is beautiful. And it’s Julia Roberts who plays Tinkerbell. So I get like what they’re doing, but visually, 10 out of 10. Story wise, I don’t know what they’re doing with that scene.

Elsie: They just didn’t want to waste Julia Roberts being tiny the whole time. 

Emma: Yeah, that makes sense. I get that. And then there’s just this other part where they’re kind of talking about his origin story. They do a flashback and they’re like, Peter Pan ran away. But what they really show is this stroller that rolls away from its mom who’s talking to another mom on a bench and then the baby’s like laying in the street in the rain. And that’s the Peter Pan ran away. I’m doing air quotes right now. I’m like, why did they show a baby getting lost? That doesn’t make me feel like Peter Pan ran away that makes me feel like he’s just lost which the other kids are called Lost Boys, so I’m like, it’s just strange. Then also, if you’ve read the old book, seen the old one, you know the story of Peter Pan. It does have a bit of a thing where like, all of the women or girls in the story like Peter Pan. There is this kind of weird thing with that. Like, Wendy’s kind of in love with him, Tinkerbell’s kind of in love with him, Tiger Lily’s kind of in love with him. It’s just sort of a thing. And in this movie, they do that too, but there’s a lot of different generations of women. And so it’s very weird. And it’s just a little like, you’re like, huh. If I don’t think about that very much, okay. But if I think about it at all, story wise, I am not sure what we’re doing. I don’t know about that. That’s a little odd because he marries Wendy’s granddaughter. Anyway, it’s just a little weird.

Elsie: I think sometimes you don’t want to look that closely. So you should take your readers off for that. 

Emma: Yeah, I kind of think if you want to just enjoy this movie for the visuals, you are in for a treat. It is gorgeous, but don’t think too hard about some of the storylines. It’s weird. 

Elsie: If you wanna like analyze it in detail though, you can email Emma and it sounds like you have a friend who wants to do that with you.

Emma: Well, there’s also like the alligator at the end eats Captain Hook. This movie’s been out forever, so spoiler, Captain Hook gets eaten by the crocodile, but the whole movie, the crocodile is basically a statue. And they’ve kind of talked about how they’ve, I think killed the crocodile and stuffed it, but then in the end it falls on him, doesn’t move at all, just falls on him, and he disappears. I guess he gets sucked up in there, but you hear the crocodile burp. So then I guess you know he’s still kind of alive, I guess. The crocodile burp for me is just like what’s happening? I don’t know. So anyway, there’s some things about the story where I’m like, yeah, I don’t know, I don’t know about that. But I love this movie. It doesn’t really even ruin it for me at all but I have no idea. I think it could have taken one more pass on the draft.

Elsie: Yeah, baby getting rolled away in a stroller. How does that even happen in any universe ever?

Emma: Then it falls out of the stroller into the street and Tinkerbell finds the baby. I don’t know. It’s a problem, I think. Story wise, it’s a problem. 

Elsie: Aww. Well, I think it’s a very creative take on Peter Pan, because I’ve watched a lot of these movies with my kids. And as children, we watched the Mary Martin version, where there’s a woman, a blonde lady with short hair who plays Peter Pan. That was one of our VHS tapes. I like this one. It’s aged really well. It’s very beautiful. It’s very magical. And I think that if we’re being honest, every version of Peter Pan has some kind of problem because it does have like some racism and some things that like some people think that like you shouldn’t even read Peter Pan or watch any movie, you know, because it’s like, it’s a little tainted and I get that. So I think that yeah, I don’t know, Peter Pan is like a tricky thing to tiptoe around, but I do think it’s a magical story, and I do think that things, you know, that were written like a hundred years ago often have problems.

Emma: Yeah, I like that they’re doing a grown up Peter Pan who has to remember his past. I think that’s an interesting premise.I would give it like 12 out of 10 hooks for visuals and then just like, you know, like three crocodile burps out of five for storyline. 

Elsie: Okay. I’m gonna give it six out of five hooks just because I didn’t recognize Dustin Hoffman the whole time I was watching it.

Emma: So, One of my favorite of his performances. 

Elsie: I’m in love with him. I think I have a crush on Dustin Hoffman a little bit. Anyway, now I’m like, I get it. I get it. Anyway, okay. All right, let’s do some trivia. This trivia is really good. You want to go first?

Emma: Yeah. Okay, so there are a lot of famous cameos in the movie. So George Lucas and Carrie Fisher are the kissing couple on the bridge when Tinkerbell is taking Peter back to Neverland. You really like can’t even hardly see them. 

Elsie: I didn’t know that at all. 

Emma: They’re just like lifting up off the ground because she gets a bit of fairy dust on them and the idea is they’re having a happy thought. And happy thought is what makes you fly. You really don’t even see them, so it’s funny that it’s famous people. Glenn Close is the bearded pirate who gets locked in the boo box. 

Elsie: That’s epic. 

Emma: Which until you know that, I feel like you don’t even know that it’s a woman at all. And Gwyneth Paltrow is a young Wendy. And then this one I didn’t even realize at all in the movie, but my husband did. It’s Phil Collins is the police inspector. Just Yeah, Phil Collins is in it. I don’t know. 

Elsie: Jeremy has a big Phil Collins thing, so I think I would recognize him, probably, from all his, like, sorry, but, like, very creepy album covers. His album covers are so intense. Okay. The line spoken by Rufio, you’re dead jolly man, had to be spoken backwards by Basco, as the scene was shot and then played in reverse. So the sword blade would come away from Robin Williams face instead of toward it. His actual spoken line was, na me lod – I head rhy you that sounds really hard to perform to me. So they did great. 

Emma: Rufio nailed it because you can’t tell, it just sounds like he says, you’re dead, jolly man. Yeah. 

Elsie: Oh my God, this next one’s my favorite one. Go ahead. 

Emma: This one’s wild. Okay. Steven Spielberg and Michael Jackson’s friendship ended due to this movie. Several years earlier, Spielberg had told Jackson of his desire to make a live action version of Peter Pan, a character and story that Jackson was famously obsessed with, as we all know, because he had Neverland. According to Spielberg, from then on, Jackson was under the impression, completely mistaken impression, that Spielberg had promised him the lead role. And when he subsequently didn’t get the part, Jackson took the perceived snub extremely personally and never spoke to Spielberg again. 

Elsie: Honestly, like, I relate with that level of, like, petty. If I feel like you stole a dream out of my head and then didn’t let me be a part of it. Yeah, I relate with it. I get it, at least. 

Emma: But I also feel like, can you imagine Michael Jackson Instead of Robin Williams in this movie? 

Elsie: I actually have never seen Michael Jackson act. Do you know if he ever acted or like what made him feel like he could be an actor? 

Emma: I don’t really know if I have.I’ve seen music videos of him. 

Elsie: Yeah. No, I know he can dance. I know he can dance, but like, I bet if you do enough music videos, you probably feel like you can be an actor because there is a lot of acting in the videos. But like, you know, he did the zombie. 

Emma: Yeah, I think musicians often are, you know, performers and they can translate, but I just don’t see Michael Jackson.

Elsie: And it’s a comedic role, but I also feel like, I hope that Steven Spielberg at least offered him a cameo, because I feel like he could have done a cameo if it was that special to him. He could have found a maybe he didn’t want to do it. I don’t know. 

Emma: I mean, it sounds like everyone got a cameo if they wanted one because they had a lot of weird ones.

Elsie: If it’s like Peter Pan or nothing, I feel like that’s kind of, that’s a little on you. Okay. The scene where Peter passes his sword to one of the lost boys was improvised. None of the cast knew that he would pass the sword except for Robin Williams and Steven Spielberg, so the reactions of the boys were genuine. Aww. 

Emma: All the little boys who play the lost boys nailed it in this movie. They’re all really good and quirky and fun and I believed them and I thought they were cool as a kid and as an adult now I’m like they’re adorable and I just want to hug each of them. So I loved the casting of all the lost boys in this movie. They’re so cute. Okay, Steven Spielberg has beaten himself up over Hook throughout the years. He said that he felt like a fish out of water and didn’t have confidence in the script. Perhaps his thoughts are best summed up in the statement from a 2013 interview. I want to see Hook again because I so don’t like that movie and I’m hoping someday I’ll see it again and perhaps like some of it.

Elsie: Oh no, that really hurts because I love it so much. I think he is hard on himself, though, about his movies, generally, because I heard he was like that about Gremlins, which is also another, like, absolute banger. So, I mean, I guess he maybe just has very high standards, which that’s probably why he’s Steven Spielberg, but I don’t know. I feel like he should just, like, let this be one of the greatest children’s movies of all time. 

Emma: Yeah, I also feel like this and to an extent Gremlins, they’re very different obviously, but they’re both a bit wacky. They’re both a bit out there stretch like this isn’t Jaws. This is something else and I think they’re wonderful, but it probably is kind of hard to artistically love something that’s so wacky like it’s just you know I think anytime you stretch yourself as a creative, it can be hard to love the result.

Elsie: Honestly, I bet it’s just like, he remembers these, like, few critical things people said, which everyone can relate to that. It’s like, when you make art, you always remember the worst review. You do. You just always remember.

Emma: Do I love the script of this movie? No. But do I love this movie? Oh my gosh, yes. So I kind of feel like Steven Spielberg made it.

Elsie: Okay. Well, we’re gonna write him a letter and we will set things right and we’ll make sure. 

Emma: You did a great job, Steven. Yeah, we’ll make sure that he knows. I’m sure you care what we think. You did a great job. 

Elsie: Okay. Dame Maggie Smith, being only 56 years old at the time of filming, was aged by makeup to play 92 year old Grandma Wendy. I did wonder about that. I was like, how? Cause we’ve been watching Harry Potter a lot and I’m like, how does she look the same? Like just eternally always the same. That’s very interesting. I feel like she was kind of like Betty White in that way. Like it was like she was kind of doing like an old person’s costume before she was really old.

Emma: I wondered if they were planning to do more flashbacks and then they didn’t. Because most of the time that she’s in the movie, she’s the 92 year old with the heavy makeup. And the makeup looks great. Very convincing. But yeah, I was like, oh, this actress, she’s not really that old. 

Elsie: She’s still alive right now. Yeah. And this movie’s from when we were a little kid.

Emma: She’s a wonderful actress, but I was like, why did they cast her? Why didn’t they cast someone older? Because most of the time she’s old in the movie, but maybe they were planning to do more flashbacks or something, but then it didn’t work out. Cause they were like, oh, it’s already two and a half hours. 

Elsie: I think I picked the right person. I think she’s great.

Emma: It was just kind of a, you know, like, well, okay she’s just in heavy makeup the whole time. All right. I don’t know. Okay. 

Elsie: Okay. So, I guess that’s everything for Hook. We love this movie. We would love to hear from you your rewatch requests. So it can be anything. It can be a kid’s movie, it can be a new movie, it can be an old movie. The one thing though it has to have is, like, rewatchability, where you could watch it, you know, like, you’ve watched it many, many times in your life and you’re never tired of it. And the second thing, it has to have like, just like the cozy, the aesthetic. We did do Jurassic Park, which is probably like the most unhinged thing we ever did. 

Emma: Jurassic Park is awesome. 

Elsie: Did we do Gremlins already or were we doing it next year? I bet we’re doing it next year. 

Emma: I feel like we just talk about it all the time. 

Elsie: Okay. I was just starting to think about all the Steven Spielberg movies, but anyway. Okay. Are we his biggest fans? I know I’m the biggest Gremlins fan. 

Emma: I also love Minority Report. 

Elsie: But we’re not doing Minority Report for the podcast. 

Emma: Why not? 

Elsie: Oh no! Okay. Send us your request. If you want Minority Report, then I need to know that one other person besides Emma in this whole world would want that. But yeah, I think we do want to keep doing these semi forever. As many years as we’re doing the podcast, we will keep doing movies because they’re our favorites and they’re really fun. Anyway, it’s time to go to a joke or a fact with Nova. Hey Nova, what do you have for us this week? 

Nova: A fact. 

Elsie: A fact? We haven’t had a fact in a while.

Nova: Yeah, I thought we should change it up. And so let’s do this fact. Did you know, like, in the old days, Skateboarding was called sidewalk surfing. 

Elsie: What? Are you serious? 

Nova: Yep. 

Elsie: That’s a cool fact. I didn’t know that. I want to go sidewalk surfing. Do you want to go? 

Nova: Maybe. 

Elsie: Okay. Have a good week, everyone.

Nova: And I’ll tell you one more fact to make you not really want to do it. It’s one of the dangerous sports. 

Elsie: Oh, most dangerous sports. 

Nova: Because a lot of people have, like, scraped themselves. Or hurt themselves, like, a lot. Maybe, like, 100 people every year.

Elsie: Oh gosh!

Nova: Or even more. So you may not want to be one of those people in the hospital. . So I wouldn’t count on it if you don’t want to get hurt. 

Emma: All right. Thanks so much for listening. You can submit questions or rewatch ideas at podcast@abeautifulmess.com or you can call and leave us a voicemail, but just remember to make it concise. So think about it ahead of time if you want to leave a voicemail because we like to play them in the episodes. And that number is 417 893 0011. We’ll be back next week, and we are going to be deep diving into buying furniture for your home.

You can find the podcast posts archive here.

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Show Notes:

Nova’s Girl Scout Cookies

Things we find joy in:

Elsie

Audiobooks

Walks

Collections: Antiques and art

Movies

Emma

Reading

Desserts

Walks

Little Luxuries: getting lashes refilled, painting nails, and buying a new face cream

Adjusting your expectations so you can truly love something

Rate The Dead Romantics by Ashley Poston between 1-5 ghost emojis

Elsie – 4.5

Emma – 4.5

Miss an Episode? Get Caught Up!

• Episode #220: You Got Questions, We Got Answers
• Episode #219: Elsie’s Adoption Story
• Episode #218: Harry Potter – Comfort Rewatch
• Episode #217: Our Social Media Influencer Experiences

Episode 221 Transcript:

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Elsie:  You’re listening to the beautiful mess podcast, your cozy comfort listen,. Who doesn’t want a little bit more joy in their lives? This week we’re talking about the little things in our life that bring us so much joy. Plus, we’re doing a book report on The Dead Romantics by Ashley Poston. Okay, so should we start off with the book report or with the things that bring us joy?

Emma:  Oh, let’s do things that bring us joy.

Elsie:  Okay. Let’s do it. I’m, like, so scared that we put all the same things. How many did you put up? I put five.

Emma:  I put five. 

Elsie:  Great. Okay, we’ll go back and forth. 

Emma:  Now I’m very curious to see if they’re all the same things. Honestly, I would love it. If they’re all five the same. That’d be crazy in a way.

Elsie:  They’re gonna be. Except for one or two. Give me your first one. Okay.

Emma:  My first one is reading. Is that on your list too? Is that on your bingo card?

Elsie:  Yeah, duh it is. Okay. Go ahead.

Emma:  Surprise, surprise. We love reading. I think I talked about this a little bit in the last episode. But reading to me is just such a happy place in life. I love having a book that I’m like, looking forward to picking it back up. I’m like rushing through, you know, folding laundry or whatever stupid task I have so that I can get back to my book. I do listen to audiobooks. I know you’re going to talk about audiobooks, but I tend to be more of a book reader. And I am considering getting an e-reader again. I had one in the past. I had a Kindle and it just wasn’t really my thing. I like having the pages to turn. 

Elsie:  Why are you considering it then? 

Emma:  So I’m considering it, so as our listeners know, I’m pregnant. I’m going to have a baby this summer. My due dates late June. And I’m already planning like what books to like, have in that era, I’m going to do a lot of sexy fairy books that author I believe it’s Sara Mase want to say. So I am looking forward to a maternity leave. And I love babies. And I love breastfeeding. I love breastfeeding my son. Also, it’s a hard time I’m a sleeper. I like to sleep seven to eight hours a night. And you definitely do not get to sleep that much when you have a newborn. And it’s hard. It’s, you know, a difficult time where you’re trying to keep your attitude up. But you’re like, man, I wish I could sleep more.  So I’m like planning a book that I can at least be looking forward to reading while I’m breastfeeding at night or whatever I’m doing, you know, getting up with the baby. And sometimes you’re not reading but there are long stretches where they’re just eating and you’re feeding them with a bottle or your boob or whatever. And you’re just sitting there. So having something to look forward to reading at 4am. Yeah, is kind of a high bar. So I’m really just wanting like, what I would consider somewhat junk food reads, and the sexy fairy books really do it for me because they are for me, highly addictive. And this is not me dissing them by the way. This is me saying how wonderful I love them because they’re what I’m saving for my maternity leave. 

Elsie:  Did you finish the first series? 

Emma:  No, I haven’t finished it because I don’t like to be a reader who like speeds through all one author. I like to kind of pace them out. Especially if I find like a trilogy that I’m really into. I really like kind of spacing it out because then I’m like, looking forward to it. But I think I am going to speed through a lot of them during the maternity leaves. So that’s why I’m considering an e-reader too, because you do a lot of things one handed when you have a baby because you’re holding the baby a lot. So you eat your meals one handed, you learn to do a lot of things one handed, and holding big books one handed is really hard, like you drop them a lot. So I’m like maybe I should just get an e-reader even though I kind of have this feeling that I won’t want to keep it after that phase of life. Like I’ll probably want to go back to books because I just like having them on my shelf. I like turning the pages. I just like it. And you know, just for fun, readings for fun. So I’m like, why not do the thing I like so I almost like want to just like borrow someone’s e-reader for six months. 

Elsie:  Give it to me when you’re done because I want one for the kids. 

Emma:  Okay, maybe I’ll do that then because I don’t want to buy one and only use it for six months. It makes me feel so wasteful. But I also was like, can you rent an e-reader? I don’t think so. So anyway, this is my dumb thing. But I love reading so much. So I’m like planning what I’m going to read during this slightly hard season.

Elsie:  I think that’s really smart to give yourself treats. 

Emma:  Yeah, and to me reading is definitely a treat. And I like all sorts of different genres. But there are some that feel more addictive to me than others. I definitely read a lot of romance, not just fantasy romance. I like historical romance. I like Modern Romance. To me that’s like a very like fun read. Like if I’m a little bit sad or it’s wintertime. I’m like, give me that romance. Yeah, I like all sorts of things. I love thrillers, obviously.  I also like nonfiction. I’m pretty eclectic in my reading. And I also like that you and I tend to be slightly different on our fiction reads.

Elsie:  You always say that.

Emma:  You like a little more general fiction than I do. I’m a little more genre than you are because  you’re not against fantasy but it’s not like a big thing for you necessarily and I’m like dragons sign me up.

Elsie:  I’m obsessed with fantasy but I’m like hard to please. I’m like easily disappointed by it which isn’t good. 

Emma:  And you like more moody things, a little bit more artistic.

Elsie:  That’s true I like to cry. 

Emma:  You like to cry. I do not like to cry very much. I like to be a little bit spooked. Like you scare me, I like that. But I don’t really like to cry too much. I also do cry though, during romance a lot, which is very funny, but I do. So I think I’m an easy cry. And so I’m like, I don’t want this sad. I don’t like to cry because I’m sad. I want to cry because like they finally got together, or you know, something happy. I like a happy cry, I guess. Anyway, reading is definitely one of those little joys in life. And I also find a lot of joy being in places that have lots of books. So bookstores, libraries, and I love to buy books and check out books, but I also just like the feeling of being around a lot of books. I think it’s a very peaceful thing. And I think part of it is growing up when you go to public schools, really any institution type thing like that, it could be a boarding school, or whatever, I went to public schools. There’s a lot of times where you’re like, if you’re the type of person who’s a little bit introverted, and likes to be alone, and likes like low audio environments, there’s sometimes you don’t get a choice, right? Like you’re just in the cafeteria, and it’s loud, or like, certain teachers would like play music during test because it does help other students. But for me, it always kind of bothered me. So for me, being in the library was like, a really nice place to be. Even if I wasn’t there to check out a book. I just wanted to be in there.

Elsie:  Emma has always been this way. When we had our store, she like hated it that I played music and it’s like, you kind of have to.

Emma:  I don’t hate music but I just like a lot of peace and quiet. I’m a very like seeking peace constantly person. 

Elsie:  You should get one of those little grandma water fountains. 

Emma:  I used to have one, like in middle school in my room, the little waterphone. Yeah. Anyway, yeah. So reading. reading is definitely a little joy for me.

Elsie:  I love it. Okay, I’ll do audiobooks since we’re on the subject already. So I love reading paper books. But audio books are like very practical for me in this time of life. I’ll tell you all the times I read them because people always ask me like, how do you read so many books? And I read them when I’m driving. When I’m waiting for kid, you know, well, that can pick waiting, waiting, waiting. Anytime I’m cleaning. And anytime I’m doing any kind of work except for writing. I can’t obviously, do it when I’m writing. Yeah, but any other like when I’m doing photography or any other work? I can handle the audiobook. So yeah, that’s pretty much all day every day. And even sometimes at night before bed. I listened to them. Like it’s just like, I love it. So yeah, I think that the cool thing about audiobooks is you can read really, really fast. Even if you have a busy life. That’s like active, you know, taking walks anyway, all of it. Oh, yeah, painting, all the things pretty much everything except for writing or I’m playing with my kids. My kids like hate my books. And they don’t like it when I even have my headphones in. And so that’s like a little bit of a problem. So I either have to hide it from them but it’s ok you shouldn’t listen to them 24 hours a day. But yeah, I love the art of audiobooks. Seems like a lot of the people who read audiobooks are actors. It’s like often they’re like a screen actor, a Broadway actor. It’s just like all kinds of cool people. Anyway, I do like to read a big variety of books, like what Emma was saying, maybe like a little bit more literary fiction, but pretty much all the same stuff. I don’t like to read a lot of romance books in a row. Think I like to read one every once in a while, like one a month and same with nonfiction. I don’t like to read nonfiction books in a row because you know, there it can all blend together. It already kind of does. Like it’s hard to recall when you think of like a self help concept, which book it came from when you read, you know, like a bunch of them.

Emma:  Yeah, sometimes like a biography or an autobiography too, which is a different form of nonfiction. But I feel like I get into kicks where I’m, like, kind of into reading like Audrey Hepburn’s biography, or you know, whatever. I just like get into these little boats for awhile.

Elsie:  Yeah, no, I like that, celebrity memoirs. So celebrity memoirs, there’s only usually like a few, like, amazing ones each year, but there’s always at least one or two amazing ones every single year. So that’s fun. But yeah, anyway, love audiobooks. It’s definitely still counts as reading. It is like a way to if you want to just like get into reading with a low barrier of entry. Like you don’t have to sit. For me if I had to sit and read a book every time I wouldn’t be able to read very much because I’m not traveling very much in my life right now. And just like sitting down reading a book, is it always appealing to me. But yeah, like listening to one it’s like it’s super appealing. 

Emma:  Sitting down and reading is a whole different, you need the use of your hands more than likely unless you have some kind of device. So it’s just different. Whereas you can be doing things while you’re listening to an audio book. So you can be folding laundry, doing dishes, whatever.

Elsie:  And I felt like my children are already because of the Yoto players. They’re already like, they have an appreciation for like the talent in the production of an audiobook because I started to read Harry Potter to them. And they, Emma knows the story, they were like, Mama, you’re not doing enough voices. Like Mama, you’re reading so boring. And I thought I was doing a good job. I was trying.

Emma:  She got booed off the stage. 

Elsie:  And then we started reading the Jim Dale production that like, you know, and it’s a whole thing. And they were like, instantly, yes, immediately yes. So I just sit there with the book in my heads with my phone out. And we listen to it together. And it’s sort of like reading, but it’s sort of, I guess it’s easier, and they’re enjoying it more. It’s more entertaining for them. But yeah, it’s definitely like a talent that people have. 

Emma:  Kids can be brutally honest. No, I’m not interested in you doing it. Okay. Wow. That’s funny.

Elsie:  Okay, what’s your next?

Emma:  My next one is desserts. 

Elsie:  Oh okay. Say everything.

Emma:  Okay, so let me start with this. You know, we love a disclaimer, I don’t have anything to say about health, weight, none of that. I’m not interested in talking about that right now. I think that food can get so wrapped up in that, and I get that and it’s an important conversation. That is not what I am talking about right now. 

Elsie:  Yeah. Or like ever on this podcast. 

Emma:  Yeah, I have. I have nothing good to say don’t listen to me on any of that. I don’t know I’m learning too, anyway. So let me start by saying one thing that our great grandma Lula, who lived to be like 102 or 103, she was basically in the blue zone. She figured it out. My mom said that piece of advice. Great Grandma Lula had was she was like, I’m always looking forward to my next meal. And that was like one of her secrets to like a long, happy life was to always be looking forward to your next meal. I think that advice is like, so simple and so good. And as someone who loves eating, I know, some people don’t care about eating, that’s totally cool. But I love eating. I also love cooking. And I just have certain foods I love that I get excited about that I think about and for me, like, whenever I got my big tattoos the entire time, I was thinking about what I was going to eat later. Because it’s like my way to like, get through something difficult. I can guarantee this summer when I deliver our son, I will be thinking about what I can eat later or the next day, because it’s just a way to get through what can be kind of a difficult moment for me. So I completely understand my great grandmother Lula being like, a secret to a happy life is is thinking about your next meal and looking forward to your next meal. So for me, I’m often thinking about like, desserts or little treats that I want to have later. And of course, I don’t do that every single day. I don’t have time to do it every single day. But I have a lot of like little things that are like my little treats and things around town or the other day I got like really fixated on getting a bagel from Panera, but then they were all out of the blueberry and that was a big problem for me. Because I was just really looking for and a lot of times they’re really simple thing only. 

Elsie:  I only get the cinnamon one. 

Emma:  Too crunchy for me. Yeah, sometimes I’m in the mood for the cheese one, but not some this time I really was wanting the blueberry with some cream cheese frosting or not frosting just cream cheese. I mean, it’s basically frosting. But yeah, and yeah, I’m a big fan of I’ve mentioned this before, but I love Andy’s Frozen Custard which is kind of a regional thing but it’s definitely a Springfield thing.

Elsie:  My kids call it beautiful, gorgeous spinning ice cream cone.

Emma:  Oscar always notices the ice cream cone too and yeah, desserts and just little treats is a thing for me that I will plan and I like looking forward to it. Like if I know that my husband and I are going to go on a date to like a certain restaurant, especially if we’re traveling. I’m one of the people that I will sometimes look up the menu ahead of time because it’s not that I’m necessarily worried or something I just like looking forward. I like adding that to the experience of eating of like I’m looking forward to having my favorite pasta on Friday for my birthday or whatever and I’m thinking about it for like two weeks and it’s not like I’m not eating other food in the meantime that I’m enjoying I am but I just like the anticipation. 

Elsie:  That’s wonderful. I love that.

Emma:  So as far as little joys that does it for me. And I also love sometimes having time to cook something fun. Like for my birthday, one of the nights, Oscar stayed the night with her mom, he had a grandma night. And the next morning, I didn’t have Oscar time, because he was over at grandma’s and I baked my own birthday cake. Mom was like, you don’t have to bake your own birthday cake. Tell me what cake you want. I’ll bake it, you know, our mom’s really sweet like that. And she’s a great baker. But I was like, Mom, actually, I’d like to bake it because Oscar won’t be home. He loves to help in the kitchen. And that’s really sweet. But that’s a whole different thing than when I get to sit and cook by myself and just kind of listened to my own podcast that I want to listen to, or whatever, and make something that I’m excited about. Try out a new recipe that I haven’t tried before or whatever. And I also liked the process of making food sometimes thinking about eating it, which this was a chocolate cake, and I was looking forward to eating it.

Elsie:  Oh, that was cute. I love that. It’s a perfect little joy in life.

Emma:  I think so. 

Elsie:  My next one is walks. Did you put walks? 

Emma:  Yes. 

Elsie:  Yeah, I bet you did. Okay, so the thing I love about walks is obviously like it’s nice getting fresh air. It’s nice getting exercise. You can listen to your audiobook. Yeah, get a little sunlight. But the thing I really like is looking at everyone’s houses. I just like to like look in detail. Especially when you’re planning renovations, like last summer, I remember I was like walking the entire neighborhood looking at what color everyone’s porch was, because it’s like not a thing you notice until you like need to do your own porch. And there’s so many little things like that like looking at all the picket fences when we were getting a picket fence and like, you know, so, yeah, walks is like one of the greatest things in my life and probably like, the biggest upgrade. When we moved from our McMansion in Tennessee to here, there was kind of a lot of people that were like, oh, your house is like not as smooth mansion is nice. Which is like it’s not as mansiony, but like the difference between a walk where all you get to look at is other McMansions and a walk where you get to look at like 100 historic homes, to me is like it’s not a con. It’s not even a contest like you can’t replace that. 

Emma:  I walked in your old neighborhood and I’ve walked in your current neighborhood and by far your current neighborhood is a much better walk.

Elsie:  Yeah, it’s magical. And I liked my McMansion too. So, no shame towards the McMansion life. It had its good things for sure. But yeah, like the walks. So yeah, I love like, you know, just I don’t know the weird stuff like the mailboxes, seeing what flowers people plant in their yard, just like all the little things. And then yes, our neighborhood is an extreme Halloween neighborhood, which iskinda like 90% of my identity.

Emma:  Shout out to everyone who does holiday decor on the outside of their house so that us who are out there walking can enjoy it, because it is wonderful. And I love it. And if you know if you don’t even decorate the inside, and you’re just kind of do in the outside for your neighbors. Thank you. I see you and I love it. It makes me so happy. 

Elsie:  I agree. Yeah, love it.

Emma:  Yeah, walks was on my list to love walking outside. And I also think we mentioned this in a previous episode, but I love going on a walk with friends sometime. I think it’s a great time to catch up because it’s like you can get your sunlight and your steps and you are maybe already going to go. And now you can chat with a friend a little bit about what they’ve been up to what life’s like for them. And sometimes that lines up with other people’s schedules. Sometimes it doesn’t. It just depends, but it’s nice.

Elsie:  Okay, what’s your next one?

Emma:  Okay, next one is I’m gonna call it little luxuries. 

Elsie:  It sounds good. I don’t know what it means. 

Emma:  Well, for me, my biggest one is probably getting my lashes done. Once a month, I get my lashes refilled. I’m an lash extension gal. And I love it. And I think when I was first getting it done years ago, I would always go back and forth about it like oh, should I really spend money on this? Am I just being vain? Am I you know, having this appointment when I should be working? And you know, especially once I had my son I’m like, you know, I would get my appointment during daycare hours because I can’t take him he would be so bored. He would destroy her room while we’re there, you know? And yeah, and I’m like my son’s in daycare so I can get my lashes done. Am I a terrible mother? Like sometimes these things go through your mind and I think I’ve really settled on. No, this is great. This is one of my little joys and I love it. I love getting my lashes done. One of my favorite features is my eyes. I have these blue eyes. My son has really blue eyes too. I think he might have got it from me. And I love them. So I feel like my lashes kind of show off my eyes. more. And I honestly just love laying down and closing my eyes for an hour to an hour and a half and somebody else takes care of something for me. Yeah, it’s nice. It’s such a luxury. My lash gal is awesome. Her name is Brittany. We chat a lot. But she also doesn’t care if you want to like pop in an audio book or whatever. She’s like do your thing and I love it. So it’s things like that. I also like to paint my nails. I’m more of a paint my nails at home person, just because I already have my lash appointment, I guess. But just little luxuries like that. Buying a new face cream, just letting yourself buy little things that are just what I would call little luxuries. Like just something fun that makes you feel good. And for me, a lot of them tend to be kind of cosmetic. But it’s honestly not even really a vain thing I don’t even think my husband cares most of the time. It’s just like stuff I like I’m just like, I’m into this. So here we go. 

Elsie:  I definitely participate in that too. Even though it’s not on here. I think that life should be a little luxury all the time. A little spa night every night. I love it. No, I love it. Skincare all of it. Wonderful. Okay, my next one is collections. So collecting things is something that brings me a lot of joy. My main collections right now are antiques and art. So I’m kind of just working on my house right now, I was thinking about collecting poison rings too. When we were on our little trip I was finding these little rings from the Victorian era where you could like hide your poison. It’s basically like a locket ring is what it looks like. And there’s like 1000s of them on Etsy. And I don’t know, I thought it was like, pretty magical. So I like stuff like that like weird stuff. And usually when it’s an antique, I don’t buy just one. I like to have like a set of them. You know, like I like to go deep into each of that antique collections. Anyway, as far as art, I mostly collect vintage art or antique art. Because I’m mostly into old paintings and our whole downstairs, it’s mostly vintage. But I will say if you want to rob me go through the whole house and just take the contemporary art, if you just want the money, because I think it’s you know, it’s smaller, it’s worth more. It’s it’s easier to carry if you’re a robber. And yeah, I don’t know, antique art you can like you can find it from a thrift store too. It’s like you never really know which ones are the expensive ones you’ll never be able to tell.

Emma:  Now I’m just thinking about what I would steal if I broke into your house. 

Elsie:  Definitely take the contemporary art.

Emma:  I’m gonna need a truck. 

Elsie:  It’s funny. I don’t really have anything to steal, I guess. But don’t take my platinum record. You knows the Platinum, it’s my everything.

Emma:  It’s cool man. Jeremy is cool for having one.

Elsie:  Stay away from that. I need to anchor it to the wall. 

Emma:  Yeah. Could have an alarm. 

Elsie:  I need to put Home Alone traps around it.

Emma:  You get shot with a Nerf gun. 

Elsie:  Okay, you like I refer to it as my platinum record. 

Emma:  I noticed that.

Elsie:  So collecting art collecting antiques collecting, just like I don’t know, I want my whole house to be like Knives Out where the beginning of Knives Out when, you go through the whole house. And you’re like, there’s a story behind every corner of this home. That’s how I want it to feel. And obviously that takes years. And like lots and lots of layers. So I’m committed to that vision. And I’m just like, little more every month, a little more every year. 

Emma:  I think too. It really reminds me of both our grandmother’s but especially our grandmother Carina. She just had lots of weird things in our house weird pieces of art and figurines and things from trips she’d been on and she had very eclectic taste. And we played with all that stuff when we were kids. And I just have really vivid memories of some of that stuff in our house. And our other grandma, the one who’s in pink house now, Norma, she also has collections of things, lots of porcelain figurines very different vibe. She had a very, very different style than Carina.

Elsie:  She has a really good like, light up Christmas House.

Emma:  The Christmas house village. Yeah. And when Oscar and I would go over there around the Christmas season, he was immediately obsessed. I feel like it’s like a kid magnet. Certain collections like that, like at Christmas Village or whatever. 

Elsie:  My kids love going to her house. 

Emma:  Yeah. So I feel like it gives like something, it’s just a fun thing. And I mean, kids are more upfront about it. But like adults want to see the collections in your house too. Like I love looking at someone’s bookshelf and seeing all their like little brass figurines or whatever it is that they collect seeing someone’s art in their house. I feel like you learned so much about someone when you see like all the art they’ve collected in their house. It’s so fun. So yeah, I love that about you that you’re always collecting. 

Elsie:  It’s definitely a little joy because it’s Like, you can add a little thing. And it’s not necessarily expensive. And it’s just like and I’m always like having something to search for, or like look up or like the, you know, list for the flea markets and things like that. Okay, what’s your next one?

Emma:  Okay. This is my last one. This episode is about joy and little things. And I don’t know if this really be a little thing. So maybe I cheated. But I just like, as I was thinking about this episode, and like making my list, I just felt like this sort of fit on there. So I’m just going for it. So we were talking about this on our trip, actually, it’s basically, if I had to sum it up, it’s like adjusting your expectations, so that you can truly love something. And for me, I’ve really been on this little journey the last few months, like three, four months with it about parenting, because I think that, like everybody does this with different arenas. So let me pick a different thing. So like, a lot of times, people think as soon as I get my dream job, I’ll be happy, happily ever after. As soon as I get married, I’ll be happy, happily ever after. And for me, I think I did kind of have this like, as soon as I’m a mom, as soon as I’m a parent, happily ever after because that’s the thing I really want and I was really longing for. And now that I’m in it, you know, my son’s two and a half, and then I’m expecting another kid. I do love being a parent. But it was not the happily ever after that I like, put the pressure for it to be. And not because there’s anything about it that I’m disappointed with. It’s honestly very much what I was expecting. And my son’s awesome and so fun. I think I just didn’t have the right expectations. And so I noticed that I was getting like a little bit more frustrated with it. Like if we went and did something on the weekend. And it turned out he had a fit at the end of it or something because surprise he’s a toddler. And I would be like so disappointed. And I was just like noticing that these little moments inside me not really anything that I was expressing where I just felt like, kind of deflated about it. And I was like, oh, I think I was just putting too much on this. I think I was expecting too much from it. And if I just change that in me, then I might just love this more, because it’s not a happily ever after. It’s hard work. And it’s wonderful. And it’s kind of everything all at once. You know, I don’t feel like I did that so much with careers or with getting married. But I think I did with parenting and everybody’s different with what they do it with. Maybe some people don’t do it at all. But just like switching that in my brain, which I’ve been working on now for a few months. Like I said, I’ve been kind of like processing it in my own mind talking about it with close friends. Now I’m talking about on a podcast, I can really tell that I’m kind of like having a lot more fun with parenting because I just have the right expectations for it now where I’m not expecting it to fulfill me in all these really big ways. I’m just like, loving it for what it is. And I think it’s kind of a small change, but it feels kind of bigger, but it really wasn’t. It didn’t take like a lot of work or a lot of deep therapy or really anything like that. It just took me realizing that I had the wrong expectations around this thing. And if I just took the pressure off of that, then I could just enjoy it for what it is more and yeah, so in that way I just feel a lot more joyful and light about it. And it’s not like it’s solved anything or it changed it necessarily, but I’m just having a lot more joy with it.

Elsie:  That’s good. I love that. Yeah, that that makes perfect sense. It’s definitely a marathon. And it’s full of like the highs and lows can be pretty intense, makes sense. It’s not like the movies,

Emma:  It’s not like movies. Nothing ever is.

Elsie:  Okay, speaking of my last one is movies. Oh, so I love movies. I love movies more than almost anything. It’s probably the most thing that I love in this world that I’m not trying to do with my career. Like I always like collect things if I love it I try to like do it a little bit but movies I like I’m not worthy.  I just like I’m a fan. I just think that it’s so amazing. I mean I love novels too. But it’s like movies are so fantastical you know what I mean? Just the things that people go through to make them happen I think is such like a marvel. Yeah, I’m just obsessed with it. So anyway, any kind of movie, I think I have like a pretty good variety like of different movies that I love but let me think what’s my most favorite? I think my most favorite are I think it’s just the the ones like we do on the podcast like the really cozy set designs. Where like they’re really really detailed. Yeah, the fixation I have on like the Home Alone house or the Knives Out house or The Practical Magic house, that’s real. There’s just like nothing in this world that is more like, even like the set of The Office, you know, which is like, it’s not necessarily beautiful, but it’s like, I’m obsessed with it. So I don’t know. I just think that movies, I like love. I love actors. I love celebrity trivia. It’s like one of my hobbies. And I love like, knowing if, you know, like, if a movie came from a book, or if, like, if it was just made from like, I don’t know, it’s so interesting. 

Emma:  Yeah, no, I agree. Honestly, I think if I’d analyzed it more when I was 18, I think wanting to be an actor was in large part just like, loving movies, and storytelling generally. 

Elsie:  Yeah. Like, I sometimes am jealous, likeEmma moved to LA, to try to do acting. And I, like sometimes think about, like, what if I went with her and just tried to do something with movies? Like, I think there’s always going to be a part of me, that’s like, I’m obsessed with them so much that I just want to like, be some part of it. So maybe someday there will be like, I don’t know, some kind of a way to help with some movie. But yeah, it’s definitely a magical industry. That’s very inspiring. 

Emma:  Yeah, and very weird. And I also am always fascinated by like art projects that take a huge group. Because it’s very different from anything that I usually do. I usually just like write my own book, or make my own painting or make a little necklace or whatever little hobby I have, you know, of creativity. So to see like projects that take like, huge crews and writers and actors, and I’ll just like so many different people have to be involved. It’s kind of a miracle that any of them get made at all. When you think about it. It’s wild, honestly. And it’s just a weird, weird, interesting industry.

Elsie:  Yeah, it’s so cool. It is yeah. Ah, okay, so I guess book report time. 

Emma:  Yes. We’re talking about the dead romantics. Do you want to give a synopsis? 

Elsie:  I can say the synopsis. 

Emma:  We’re probably gonna have spoilers in this so ifyou haven’t read it yet. And I will say I think this is not really a mystery or anything, but there are some things you probably wouldn’t want to know if you’re going to read this

Elsie:  If you’re planning to read it then it’s time to skip ahead to Nova’s joke, but I will say I recommend this upfront. Like this was like, a really good one. It’s like a very fun super fast page turner. 

Emma:  Yeah, love story, Spooky love story. 

Elsie:  It’s on the spooky side. It’s not actually spooky. It’s more like fake. spooky, but it’s cute spooky. 

Emma:  Yeah, it’s cute spooky.  It’s like if a modern romance was like, but let’s make it a little Halloweeny. Just a little bit. 

Elsie:  Yeah, I love it. Okay, so the synopsis. So The Dead Romantics is a story about a ghost writer named Florence. She’s ghost writing for a super famous romance author. So she’s supposed to be like, top shelf, like very famous. And she’s written like several books. Like she’s on her fourth one, I think out of like a contract. And so it’s gonna be her last one. So she’s like, going to her new editor to try to get an extension and he ends up being super hot. And you’re like, okay, like, you know, when the hot guy enters a romance book, you’re like,.

Emma:  You’re like, here we go. Especially if they don’t like each other at first, you’re like, here we go. 

Elsie:  Yep, it is what it is. So anyway, she goes to visit her family for her dad’s funeral shortly after that. And it turns out that the new hot editor is now a ghost who is visiting her because he is dead. 

Emma:  And her and her dad, who’s now deceased had this thing where they could both see ghosts. And he was a funeral director. And she doesn’t like this part of herself, because she saw ghosts as a child, and solved a mystery. And everyone treated her like she’s a weirdo because of that. 

Elsie:  Yeah. So she hasn’t gotten back to her hometown to visit her family in 10 years, they’ve only visited her and I was like, okay, what and anyway, so hot man ghost keeps visiting her. And they’re trying to plan her dad’s funeral and execute the funeral. And her dad’s not a ghost. It’s just the editor man, Ben. And they’re like getting pretty cozy. And yeah, Emma and I were basically like, we’re reading it at the same time and we were on a vacation together and we were like, how are they gonna do the ghost sex? 

Emma:  I was like, I guess there’s gonna be go ghost sex. I don’t know if it’s going to be satisfying. What’s going to happen here? 

Elsie:  Yeah. So it’s like the perfect storm because you’re like, these two characters must be having sex soon. But it is impossible because one is a ghost. And  you touch it and it goes through the body. 

Emma:  In this world ghost, your hand would go to their body.

Elsie:  Yeah. So anyway, I don’t know if we should tell the ending but they figure out a way. And it happens. And I felt that it was like a pretty cute romantic book and fun. It was very quick. I think I read it in like two or three days. And it was joyful. It was fun. It’s not spooky. I think that if you were like someone who doesn’t even like spooky stuff, you could like use this as your Halloween book just to like, yeah, have one and like sort of like it’s not spooky at all. And yeah, like my comments were basically like, I mean, it’s a little silly, but it’s like fun. And it’s meant to be that way.  I thought it was really good for romance book. I kind of get bored with them because they think they’re all the same. It’s like a tough category for me. And this one definitely had enough things that made it different. But I will say that Emma ruined the twist for me. She was like, she predicted it. And she like predicted everything exactly. And then it kind of like ruined it.

Emma:  There’s one thing I didn’t predict. But also, I almost never predict endings. I’m actually really bad at it. So I feel like this was one time that I did. And so I didn’t mean to ruin it because usually I’m wrong. 

Elsie:  It’s okay.  I should have actually known that was coming.  Anyway, I will give this book four or five ghosty emojis, four point five.

Emma:  Yeah,  I would give it like four point five too. I read quite a bit of romance. And I feel like it is a tough formula because it can feel the same all the time in some ways. So I really loved what this author did with it, the creativity of it pretty early on the Ben character dies. And so you’re like, oh, this is taking a turn. And that’s fun, it is an interesting choice. I also haven’t really read a modern romance that felt a little spooky, or was trying to delve into some afterlife things or this or that. And so I thought that was really fun and pretty well done. I overall really really liked it, really enjoyed it. If you like romance at all, I think you’ll like this. It’s very fun. So my other friends who like romance we’re always talking about like, where’s it at on the level of sex? Because like so much it’s like very light.

Elsie:  The spice a meter. 

Emma:  Yeah,where’s it on the spice a meter. And this one to me is like, middle to low. Not tons of spice. 

Elsie:  Let me put it this way, I am allowed to send my 14 year old niece age appropriate books. And I would definitely send this one. Yeah, this would be fine. Like down there with like, The Fourth Wing. Like it this like a little bit of sex, but not really. 

Emma:  Yeah, it’s pretty mild. So not too spicy. And some people prefer that they don’t some people don’t like too much spice. Some people are like, I need a crazy, spicy scene, something I’ve never even heard of before or I’m bored. And I get that too. I understand both perspectives. So this one is more on the light. So if you enjoy that I like all of it. I’m interested in the whole scale of spiciness.  So yeah, I thought this was really fun. But it’s very unique for a romance. So very worth the read in my opinion.

Elsie:  It’s very charming and adorable. And I’m glad that it exists. I’m glad  we read it. Yeah. And I kind of feel like we were lucky to find it. 

Emma: I’m almost 100% that a podcast listener sent this because you all send us book recommendations fairly often. And if I haven’t mentioned this before, I am buying pretty much all of them off of thrift books, and they’re sitting on my shelf. And some I like more than others I must say, but this one I’m pretty sure it came from a podcast listener and they were right, because I love it. 

Elsie:  Yeah, it was cute. Okay, we love it. All right, let’s go to Nova’s segment. All right, Nova, what do you have for us this week?

Nova:  A joke.  Before that, I just wanted to say thank you for buying my cookies. I hope you guys love them. I hope they’re yummy. My favorite is the adventure falls. So thank you again. And well I just wanted to say, let’s get into some jokes. What’s a pavement favorite kind of dessert? 

Elsie:  What is it? 

Nova:  An Oreo concrete.

Elsie:  Yeah, that’s a good one. I think it works.  Alright, thank you so much for listening. We hope this episode brought you some joy. We’re so grateful for all your love and support. And we’ll be back next week with a comfort rewatch of the movie, Hook. 

Emma:  Hook hook. Where’s the hook? 

Elsie:  Amazing.

You can find the podcast posts archive here.

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Show Notes:

Nova’s Girl Scout Cookies

From Pauliene: I need to know everything about Nova’s guided meditations!

She listens to meditations on her Yoto Mini Players

She doesn’t plan them out

She just has a knack for it

From Marilyn: When you purchase your art on Etsy, where do you get your art printed?

At home with the IP 8720 Printer or Emma’s Printer Canon TS9521C

Minted

CVS

Walmart

Favorite paper to print on is the Luster paper

From Michelle: How do you make friends as an adult?

Join a book club

Be more intentional

Talk to other moms at your kid’s school

Volunteer

Take some classes

From Amanda Brink: Would Emma consider talking about self publishing a book?

Read On Writing By Stephen King

Get a designer to help you lay out your book and your cover. Emma worked with Kelsey Baldwin for her book’s interior and Mara Dockery for her cover.

Upload your book to Amazon and Ingram Spark

Market your book

Voicemail from Kate: Whatever came of the puppets you guys were going to have made of yourself?

They are in a box and need to be completed but we will be bringing them out soon.

Miss an Episode? Get Caught Up!

• Episode #219: Elsie’s Adoption Story
• Episode #218: Harry Potter – Comfort Rewatch
• Episode #217: Our Social Media Influencer Experiences

Episode 220 Transcript:

​

Emma: You’re listening to the Beautiful Mess Podcast, your cozy comfort listen. This week we are answering all your questions about Nova’s meditations, printing art, and publishing a book. All sorts of listener questions. 

Elsie: I love that Nova’s Meditations is like a question that we get to talk about that’s so funny. Yeah, I’m excited for this. This is like a fun, easygoing episode, and I love listener questions, so I love doing one of these every once in a while 

Emma: I do too and I still read all of our podcast emails. If you’re emailing us at podcast@beautifulness.com, we read them. And we’ve gotten, like, people who’ve written books, children’s books, we order copies of them. A lot of people have been sharing recipes with us lately, ever since our episode about how our business has changed. People have been sending us, like, family recipes that they’re like, here’s a way I want to say thank you for all the content you’re making for me. I’m sending you my family recipe for gazpacho. They all sound so delicious. And everyone’s like, you can post them on your site if you like. It’s so sweet. Like, people are just being really sweet. So anyway, you’re all wonderful and we’re reading everything that you’re sending. And these are just a sampling of questions we’ve got. So yeah, this is fun.

Nova: Hello, this is Nova again. I just wanted to remind you that I’m still selling Girl Scout cookies. So if you want some Girl Scout cookies, you better pop on there and get them because I’m not selling them forever. Again, I hope you enjoy them. Thank you.

Elsie: Okay. So from Pauline. I need to know everything about Nova’s guided meditations. Does she prepare them or make them up on the spot? Where does she get the inspiration? Does she listen to or go to guided meditations herself? Her soft voice just fits it perfectly, and it’s so heartwarming to listen to. That is so sweet. 

Emma: I wanted to know this too. I was glad that we put it on the list because I was like, I want to know a little more.

Elsie: That’s funny, you don’t even know.

Emma: Not really

Elsie: Okay. So, they have these little kids audiobook players called Yoto Mini Players. So we’ll link these in the show notes. I just tried to buy one the other day and they were sold out everywhere, so hopefully they’ll be back in stock by the time we have this episode up. So, what they are is a screenless, little square, small little square, audio player device. 

Emma: They look cute in the room. 

Elsie: Yeah, they’re cute. They have different colored little rubber covers you can put on them, and then they have cards that you can put into them. They have everything from, there are things like meditations, so she has listened, I think that’s where she got her meditation voice from. When I first started buying the cards, I think I got like, fairy meditations, mermaid meditations. It’s children’s themed little meditations, and there’s also like bedtime stories, there’s ones that have songs, and then they get pretty advanced. We have the Beverly Cleary books series and they have all the Ramona books, all the Henry books.

Emma: I feel like you said there was like, they had shakespeare. 

Elsie: They had Shakespeare. She was like, I love King Leo. And I was like, oh my God. And she described to me the plot. She knew everything about it. And I was like, this child knows more about Shakespeare than I do. 

Emma: She was like, Romeo and Juliet, that’s a bad one, mom. They just die.

Elsie: She said they just fall in love and die. 

Emma: Best review ever. 

Elsie: And she thought that Shakespeare was a children’s author because she had a Yoto card for it, which is amazing. But the thing I love about it is they will usually put, like, the whole original text. So they have, like, Peter Pan, Alice in Wonderland, and those are, like, very old books. And they’re pretty long. They’re maybe four or five hour long audiobooks. And the kids have listened to the whole thing. So they’re getting something out of it that’s so different from what you can get from reading books at their age and Marigold doesn’t even read yet. She’s working on it. I feel like it’s helped their vocabulary. It’s how they go to sleep at night. It’s entertainment. So we’ve taken them on airplanes with headphones. There’s just all kinds of benefits to it. I’m an enthusiast for them. And I just got, they have blank cards you can get to make your own cards from any audio book, so I’m working on that. And yeah, I think it’s just a wonderful thing. So anyway, she had listened to guided meditations from the Yoto Mini. And then honestly, I think she just naturally has a knack for it. They’re not planned ahead. I have suggested topics before, like, so usually what happens is we’ll sit down and we’ll do like a month at one time. So we’ll do like two jokes and like one meditation and like one other thing, whatever she has in her mind.  We’ll just do them all, record them, send them to our podcast editor, and then just see what happens. But yeah, with the meditations, she just likes doing them and the way she does it, I definitely didn’t coach her at all. So I’m glad that you guys think it’s cute. I think it’s adorable. I feel like when I’m 80 years old, I’m gonna go back and listen to them. Like, they’re a true treasure. 

Emma: If I’m not like doing dishes or folding laundry or something, I do close my eyes when she tells me to oh my gosh Yeah, it’s very relaxing. It’s nice. If she made a long one and they could just play it while I got a massage It’d be the greatest thing ever.

Elsie: That’s so cute. 

Emma: Yeah, her little voice is perfect for it. It’s just so cute and yeah, you can tell she like I don’t know I guess picked it up from Yoto, but It has things that are like soothing, like she’s putting like sensory things in there about like ocean waves or holding a puppy or just different things that I’m like, this is good. She’s good at this.

Elsie: Oh my gosh. Well, she’s so incredibly proud to be a part of the podcast and it’s wonderful. So I’m very thankful. 

Emma: Oh, I love them. It’s how I relax. Okay. This next question is from Marilyn. When you purchase your art on Etsy, where do you get the art printed? I Okay. So obviously you can buy stuff off Etsy that’s already printed and framed, but she’s talking about when you get a digital print or you’re just getting the file. So you’re going to print it yourself to hang it up in your home. 

Elsie: So for me, 90 percent of the time I print at home. The printer that I use is called the IP 8720 and we’ll link it in the show notes. The thing I like about it is you can print regular, like I printed the show notes that we’re using right now, like regular, what do you want to call it? Like office paper, but then also it can print 13 by 19 photo paper. So I use it for both. I don’t have any other printer and it’s just like the perfect printer for me. That is what I use. And then if I was doing a large amount, like 20, I would probably order them, but I honestly don’t have one place I’m loyal to. I just order, I don’t know, like whatever place I see. 

Emma: Yeah, I’ve used some of the fancier ones online. Minted. I think I’ve used them a lot, but I’ve also printed stuff at my local CVS. It turned out pretty good. But I am also a home printer person.

Elsie: Yeah, I think I have on my phone the app for Walmart. And like any of those places are like, once it’s in a frame, I honestly don’t think the quality is usually drastically different, but I love my home printer. I think it’s like the perfect quality. 

Emma: It’s so convenient. Some people, it wouldn’t be worth it to them to have a home printer. But for me, I use mine so often and I also just love being able to print like four by six of like Oscar doing whatever we did that weekend or whatever. I just fill up my annual album with it and I love it. My printer only goes to eight by 10 though. So when I want to do a larger print, I do have to use CVS, Minted, whatever. 

Elsie: Well, you should get the one I have. 

Emma: I should. I think I just like the spot mine’s in and like mine’s wide. 

Elsie: Mine’s kind of big. 

Emma: Yeah, so I, I don’t know. I’m just used to it, I guess. 

Elsie: Yeah, it’s probably the ugliest thing in my office, but I still love it so much I don’t care. Okay, one more thing. 

Emma: Mine’s pretty cute, so I’m attached to it. 

Elsie: Yeah, no, it is cute. Do you know what your model number is or we can put in the show notes? 

Emma: I don’t remember, but I’ll put it in the show notes. We’ve talked about them a ton in the past because they’re both Canon printers and we worked with Canon for many years. We don’t anymore, and we’re still this enthusiastic about our home printers. It’s genuine. 

Elsie: It’s genuine for sure. Okay, so my favorite kind of paper is the luster paper. So if you are like a photo person, it’s the best one. So it’s not matte but it kind of, it’s not glossy. It’s like what it would be if you got a matte photo at a like Photoshop, like it, it kind of is matte. 

Emma: It has a little sheen to it, but like it’s cause it’s not perfectly matte. 

Elsie: But I feel like the matte photo papers are like more of a papery texture, which I don’t like.

Emma: Yep. Same. And they’re okay. If I have matte photo paper around, I’ll use it for something. But yeah, I like the luster best. 

Elsie: It’s amazing though. I have like, I feel like I’ve used it my whole life. You know what I mean? For like a decade. Since scrapbooking days I’ve probably had three throughout these whole like, almost 20 years. Three Cannons that are almost the same. 

Emma: Yeah, the one I have now, I’ve had, I know for sure, more than five years, and it still works great, and I love it. I think a lot of people get nervous about like, how often do you have to buy ink? And I’m like, I don’t really know, like, I’ve never really kept track of that. I’ve never felt like my ink budget was crazy though, and I do print a lot of photos. 

Elsie: So I use my printer every day, but I don’t print that many photos, but I would say I buy a new pack of ink where it just gives you all the colors, like probably twice a year, like every six months. 

Emma: Yeah, I probably do three or four times a year, but I do print a lot of photos. And it’s really, I think it’s like 60 or something for all the colors, like the whole pack. It’s really not that I need to order a new one right now. For me, it’s just so convenient to be able to do it at home and not have to go pick something up or Yeah. I don’t know. I just really like it

Elsie: yeah. Okay, so before we move on, one more thing that I want to say about Etsy is like, they have the best affordable art prints in the universe for under 10 dollars. You can get thousands, like for any possible style or niche or like vibe or whatever you’re going for in your home. You can find art for an affordable price and then print it yourself and you can print it huge. You can print it small. I just think it’s a wonderful thing and I love supporting Etsy artists.

Emma: Yeah. And there’s even all sorts of different, like I have a few things in my house that are like an old vintage thing that somebody found in their attic or something. I don’t know. And then they’ve uploaded the file. They’ve cleaned it up a little bit or whatever. And you can even print things like that, which is really fun too. So there’s just a whole variety of things on there. Really, there’s a lot of things. So I will say that’s probably the one drawback is you kind of have to shop a little bit. Like, it’s not like there’s only 10 choices or something. I like it. But yeah, I think it’s good if you have maybe weird tastes or specific tastes, and most people do. So. We love Etsy. 

Elsie: Okay. From Michelle. How do you make friends as an adult? I know it’s an area where a lot of us struggle, but you guys seem to know what you’re doing. 

Emma: I like that people think we have friends. 

Elsie: Yeah. Well, we do. We have friends. 

Emma: We do. I know, but it’s funny. 

Elsie: So, okay. My friend Kate gave me the best advice right before I moved. She said no matter where you live in this world, join a book club and a book club is, like, the key to your universe if you’re an unchurched adult woman. And I think that’s the best advice. I think I would even do, like, a second book club cause I love our book club. But I think I want, like, a fiction book club as well. I do think that it is more effort and work to make friends as an adult. Like, I’ve made a couple new friends this year and it’s like, we’re like trying, you can tell. We’re putting in, we’re like inviting each other. 

Emma: Your schedule’s just different too, like, especially people with kids, but also if even just heavy career, like, it’s just different than when you’re in your twenties and you’re kind of like out every weekend and you just run into people. It’s just different. It’s different. Yeah. It kind of has to be more intentional. 

Elsie: Yeah, I think that it definitely has to be more intentional 

Emma: Which can be awkward when it’s new because you’re like trying. 

Elsie: It’s discouraging when you feel like you’re in a place where you haven’t made a new friends in a while or you really want to or you’re not sure where to start like I think that’s really understandable. Yeah, I would try the book club. There’s other types of clubs, I feel like I’ve made a lot of friends from, like, the school moms, because we have kind of like a mutual place. Our kids are in Girl Scouts. We made a lot of friends from our pool. So Emma convinced me to join this community, it’s like a private community, what would you call it? 

Emma: A neighborhood pool. 

Elsie: A neighborhood pool. Yeah. Though you have to have a membership. And so it’s like the same people a lot of the time, and I made lots of friends from that too. So I think that just like putting yourself out there into situations where you’re around lots of people your own age who are in your phase of life is really good. It’s really brave. You’re doing a good job. If you have anxiety and you’re like, I have it too, just like keep trying. 

Emma: Yeah. And I mean, when you’re at a place like a community pool or something, if you see someone reading a book that you’ve read, maybe say hi and say, I read that book too. I loved it and just check the vibe. Maybe they’ll want to talk, maybe they won’t. And I also think another place, if you don’t have kids or if you do, whatever is volunteering. If you want to volunteer at a local food bank or different things like that, that’s a place where you can meet other positive people. Like, a church is a place to do it, but if you’re not a church person, then I think volunteering is really cool in your community. You can also learn a lot about your community. I will help with stuff at our daycare, so that is kind of like a mom or parent thing, and then I meet some of the other people at daycare, which is fun.

Elsie: What about classes? I think classes sounds like a good idea, like if you wanted to take a painting class or a pottery class. Or just like any kind of class, a cooking class. 

Emma: I feel like our mom’s made some friends from, like, teaching painting classes around town. And then she just keeps up with them. Just people with similar interests. 

Elsie: My favorite way to make friends is online. But I also like making friends in person. I think it’s good to have both for sure. 

Emma: For sure. Yeah. I’m a big fan of, like, non traditional hangs. Like, I don’t really want to, personally, I mean, I’m pregnant right now, but generally, I don’t really want to go to a bar every weekend. So, a lot of my friends, like, you have to be a person who, like, wants to go on a walk with a coffee. That’s more my speed of, like, I can’t do that every day. I’ve got to work, but like some things like that or a lunch or things that are a little more like not so much the evening because my season of life is a lot more putting kids to bed and yeah, feeling pretty tired myself. I’m on the old schedule. This question is from Amanda. Would Emma consider talking about self publishing a book? I’d love to hear more about the details of this. Yeah, for sure. Can you remember everything I’ve said about it so far? So some of this could be repeating. 

Elsie: Maybe just tell the whole process for people who haven’t. I think it’s a very interesting subject and I’m curious, like, also, like, having been through the process, what you would do differently, if you recommend it, if you would do it again. 

Emma: Yeah, yeah, so obviously step one is writing a book which you would want to do whether you’re gonna self publish or not. There’s so much advice about there and I feel like so many times we’ve mentioned On Writing by Stephen King so if you want some advice about writing a book, try that. And there’s lots of other great advice out there. I don’t even really feel like I’m the person to give advice about writing a book. I’ve only written two and I feel very much in the early phases of my writing journey for my life. Plus, I’m not always the biggest advice person to be honest about art because I a little bit subscribed to our mom’s school of thinking with it where it’s like, you’ve got to come by it in your own way and there’s no wrong way to do it. And I think you should just do it and that’s pretty much the advice. It’s like just write if you want to be a writer. 

Elsie: I mean, I think that completion is the most important part of a first novel because how many people in the world start one or how many people think about starting one? But it’s so scary. I’m in that process right now. It’s so scary to have this idea in your head that you think this could be a really good novel but if you don’t actually finish it, then you don’t have to face it if it’s not good.

Emma: Yeah, if you never finish anything, you don’t have to know if you’re good at anything. That’s true. Yeah. You kind of have to face things when you finish them, but I also think it’s how you get better. And I also think it gives you a sense of confidence. There’s just a lot that you learn from finishing projects and oftentimes putting them out in the world. If it’s not your goal to put something out in the world, that’s fine. I think creativity can exist and should exist just on our own, in free time, that nobody ever sees. I think that there’s some powerful magic there. But, I also think if you’re wanting to get good at something, and I would like to be good at writing, I think putting it out into the world is pretty important. So anyway, for me, publishing was an important step in my writing journey. So, after a certain number of rejections and just time. I was like, I think I’m just going to self publish because I don’t see why not. I don’t see any reason not to, really. And now that I know the timing of when I ended up getting pregnant, I’m really glad I did it because I think it would have delayed this goal that I have in my life even longer. I found out the day after my book came out. I kind of thought the day the book was coming out, I felt kind of sick that whole day and I was like, I should go get a pregnancy test, but I was like, I’ll do it tomorrow. Today I’m just thinking about my book. So anyway, self publishing, so there’s two places where I put my book currently and I’m talking about a print or an electronic version right now, not the audio. And those two places are IngramSpark and Amazon KDP, the KDP program. You can do just one or the other. If you were going to do only one, I would pick Amazon. But I think both are really nice because the Amazon program does put it obviously on Amazon, but kind of a few other places too. And then IngramSpark is how other book publishers can get copies of your book or libraries can get the copies or even have the electronic copy. So if that’s something that’s important to you to be in other places, then both of these are great resources and you’ll still have to, like, talk to independent bookstores about carrying your book. It’s not like they’re just gonna automatically know about it. But at least they will be able to order copies if you have done the work of getting it on to IngramSpark. So a lot of people, I think, think that you just kind of upload the word doc, and there you go. And that’s really not the case. So you’re probably going to need a designer to help you lay out the interior of your book, both for an electronic version and for a print version. And then any cover of your book, whether it’s for electronic, paperback, or a dust jacket hardcover, those are different design files. They’re different sizes and you probably will want someone professional to lay that out for you unless you have those skills. I’m personally not a graphic designer. So I hired people to lay out the interior and my book cover. And they did a beautiful job, far better than I could ever do, so that’s good. Once you have all those things done, the files, then you can upload them to both of these places, the Amazon KDP and the IngramSpark. And once they’re uploaded on there, you can track sales, you can use marketing tools that they have on those sites, and you can do your own marketing. And that’s sort of a big part of self publishing is you are the only person who’s going to do the marketing. You don’t have anyone behind you, a publisher behind you doing it.

Elsie: But I will say, even in traditional publishing, it still often feels like you’re the only person doing the marketing. You know what I mean? Like, I think that, like, successful marketing is, Often done by the author in either case.

Emma: Until you’re a really famous author, you’re going to need to do the marketing and even then you’re going to want to do marketing. So I think thinking that through and I do think that can be really intimidating for people. They can think, oh, well, Emma, you have a blog or you have a podcast, so it must be easy for you or I don’t have those things. So I can’t do it. And I would say it is easier if you have built a platform of some kind. Definitely. It’s not easy to build a platform, but definitely if you have that, it is the place you should be marketing. Yes. But also, if you don’t have that, it doesn’t mean that you can’t market. There’s lots of advice out there, so many blog posts and articles and programs that you can take that can help you with that. And marketing, by the way, is not just like posting about your book on Instagram a million times. That’s one way you could market your book. There’s also like whole courses and things you can take to teach you about picking the right keywords to be on Amazon or making sure that you’re in these categories where the readers who are really going to resonate with your work can find you. That’s marketing too. So don’t think that just because you’re not a famous Tic Toc person that you can’t market your work. You can. There’s just lots of different ways and you’ve got to be open to it and some of it is going to take a lot of effort, a lot of education on your part, and then like a lot of literal effort of doing things on different platforms. And then also some marketing could take money. You could set yourself a budget. Be like, I have a thousand dollars, what’s the best thing I could do with this thousand dollars to market my work or whatever it is. It’ll probably cost you money to self publish, it cost me money to self publish. So you have to get your files done, and there’s a couple different things. You have to buy an ISBN number, different things like that. It’s not a huge amount of money. I feel like for me, I want to say it was like 2, 000 dollars, all said and done when I’d done everything. And then, I’m still working on my audio version. It’s not out yet, but it’s coming and I promise I will tell you all when it is out so that all the audio book people like us can enjoy it. But I plan to use ACX Audiobook Publishing, which is Amazon’s audiobook publishing place, which means it will be available there. I often get books from Audible. I’m unclear if it will be available in other places like the Libby app for libraries. So if not, I would like to be able to put it those places, but I just haven’t done that yet. So I don’t know how that works. When I get there I’ll research it. But right now I’m just trying to make the files basically. There’s a lot of different steps and with any goal like self publishing or anything else, anytime you feel yourself getting overwhelmed or you feel your mind like ping ponging around all these different things you’re going to need to do, just like write down all the steps and think about which one you want to tackle first and just break it down really, really small. That’s always the best way to approach a big goal is just like, because if you’re thinking about writing a book, it’s like, just make an outline. You can take a week to do that, a month to do that, a year to do that. That’s up to you and your life. 

Elsie: Two years. 

Emma: It’d be a really good outline. But make the outline and then write chapter one and just make it small. Make each step really small and then get that one done. And before you know it, you’ll get to the end and you’ll have done all these different things. 

Elsie: That’s so inspiring, Emma. 

Emma: Thanks. 

Elsie: So inspiring. 

Emma: Yeah. And it was really fun. I would definitely self publish again. I have a feeling I probably will at some point in my life. I’ve been really happy with this and I’m really curious to see how the audio book goes. I think I’ve mentioned this, but I sold over a thousand copies in the first three months my book was out. I had no real expectations, so to me that feels, like, very successful. I don’t know how to measure that, because I don’t, like, have a bunch of other author friends.

Elsie: It’s all completely relative.

Emma: Yeah. I’ve been really happy with it, and felt like I don’t know, it’s been really fun to see and see, like, all the reviews. I’ve gotten so many more reviews than I ever expected to. So that’s really nice. Even the ones where people, it wasn’t necessarily their cup of tea, I’m like, we still took the time to read it and write me a review. I don’t know, like, just the fact that that many people are reading feels cool to me because for me, I just feel like reading has been such a happy thing in my life, such a joyful thing, that to feel like I’m contributing to this body of work, all this written stuff, and that I might contribute to somebody else’s happy moments in their life of needing a break or needing to escape or just having a book that you look forward to reading. You’re like I can’t wait to get all my chores done so I can get back to my book like just that little feeling I think is such a nice thing. I’d love to be that in other people’s lives here and there. So I don’t care if I have to self publish to get there or if someone wants to publish my work in the future, whatever. I’d also really love to write for young readers one day. I had so many books that meant so much to me as a kid. So the idea of, like, getting to do that sounds incredible. So I think there’s so many ways to get to these goals that we may have or the things we want to accomplish in life. And you don’t have to be intimidated. I will say self publishing, there’s so much information online. It’s awesome. That’s one of the ways the internet’s awesome, is there’s just people out there who their whole thing is teaching others how to self publish.  So you can read their information, you can learn from it, you can see what worked for them. It’s great. So it’s really not, in my opinion, a super hard process. It does take some money. It definitely takes some time. And you probably will upload a file wrong and get frustrated and have to try again. And those things happen. Don’t let that get you down. It doesn’t matter. Keep going. Try again. You’ll get there.

Elsie: Cool. Thanks for sharing that. It’s super inspiring and it’s fun to hear about the process because I’ve never done it before and I’m sure most people haven’t. 

Emma: It’s fun. Highly recommend it. Five stars. Love self-publishing. Publishing with a regular publisher, great too. Done that as well. Loved that as well. Different process. 

Elsie: Yeah. Okay. I really, really, really don’t want to answer this voicemail question, but let’s do it. 

Voicemail: Hey, Elsie. Hey, Emma. It is Kate calling from Florida. I was just binging old episodes and I came across your predictions for 2022. We are rolling into 2024. Whatever came of the puppets? Like, you guys were going to have puppets made. But literally, this was the most brilliant idea, and I don’t know that I ever saw the Elsie and Emma puppets. So, yeah, if you guys feel the need to respond to this, it would be the best, best gift. I may have missed it. If not, either way, happy 2024 to you guys. Bye. 

Emma: Thank you so much for bringing this up, Kate, because I am upset too. I also want to know what happened with the puppets. 

Elsie: Here’s the problem. Okay, the puppets are ,they’re in a box in my home. They’re here. They’re waiting. They’re waiting a really long time.

Emma: She’s looking at me like I’m relieved that they’re here. I’m like, no, I’m feeling no relief yet. 

Elsie: Okay, let me just say I’m sorry. I’m sorry about the puppets. I think we should still hard launch our puppets. Why didn’t we do that two years ago or whatever, I don’t know, but I’ll take this as a sign that you’re still interested in the puppets. And I didn’t finish putting all the hair on one of them, and then I bought some, like, little toddler baby clothes and they were too big, and then I got frustrated and just left them in a box after we moved. So that’s what happened. And I just need to complete them. And then we should make a puppet show of a legit high quality puppet show.

Emma: Yeah. To be honest, I forget what we were going to use the puppets for, but I am still really excited. 

Elsie: I think Tik Tok and Instagram.

Emma: The thing we don’t do anymore. Damn it. Well, we can still do something with them.

Elsie: We can still do one every once in a while. It’s fine. 

Emma: I’m gonna use it for some book marketing. I don’t know. 

Elsie: I kind of like lost my password to TikTok and I think I might just like never log in again, but Instagram, I think we’ll keep going. It’s fine. We’ll do it. We’ll do a little something. Okay. Okay. Here’s our promise to you. I just need to glue the rest of the hair onto my puppet head. 

Emma: Maybe we can fix the toddler clothes. Like, maybe we can sew them. 

Elsie: We just need to take them to the mall, into the baby store and find some clothes for them.

Emma: Build a bear? 

Elsie: Yeah, basically, they’re really small. They’re smaller than I thought they would be. Cause I got one year old’s clothes and they were way too big. 

Emma: What about American Girl dolls? Like those clothes. Maybe those would fit. 

Elsie: That’s a good idea. Let’s continue the puppets journey.

Emma: Okay. We’ll brainstorm this later. You don’t need to hear this. 

Elsie: All right. We’re going to go now to Nova’s segment.  Hey Nova, what do you have for us this week? 

Nova: A meditation. 

Elsie: A meditation, my favorite! Alright, I’m closing my eyes.  

Nova: Get all comfy.  Do anything you need to do. Maybe you just need to get under the covers. Maybe you just need to get a drink of water. Just do whatever you need and then close your eyes and relax.  Imagine yourself just at the table eating. Just finishing when suddenly you hear a scratch on the door.  You open it and find a silly little dog. You don’t know what kind it is.  It’s a pug.  So, you take it inside, and feed it some food, and then after that, you get your mom and dad to take him into the vet’s office. But you have to be very quiet or else the dog’s gonna start getting fussy and he’s gonna try to run away.  So your family is just quiet and the doctor looks him over, and he tells them what to do, and what kind of dog food to take. And so then you go very happy because you can have a dog around the house, and so you have an exciting adventure on his first day. You go to the pond and to the park.  Then you and your pug slide down the slide. And then you have a magical time with your pug. And then the next day when you wake up,  you find him laying right beside you, snuggling you in your bed. 

Elsie: Oh my gosh, that’s amazing.  

Nova: Now, everyone, thank you and enjoy the rest of your day.  Bye!

Elsie: Thank you so much for listening. We had so much fun answering your questions. We would love to hear your suggestions for future episodes. Send us an email at podcast@abeautifulmess.com with your request. Next week, we’re coming back with an episode all about joy. Plus we’re doing a book report on the Dead Romantics.

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Show Notes:

Nova’s Girl Scout Cookies

Why adoption is complicated:

-Many adoptees suffer horrible experiences

-Our culture is quick to paint adoptive parents as heroes

-People have outdated opinions on adoption

Stereotypes encountered when telling people:

-Asking if you will be telling your children that they are adopted

-People’s thoughts on China

-Having special needs children

Things to remember about adoption:

-It can take a long time

-All adoptions are different

-People will say mean things about your family

Miss an Episode? Get Caught Up!

• Episode #218: Harry Potter – Comfort Rewatch
• Episode #217: Our Social Media Influencer Experiences
• Episode #216: What’s Up with A Beautiful Mess?

Episode 219 Transcript:

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Elsie: You’re listening to the A Beautiful Mess podcast, your cozy comfort lesson. This week, we’re doing an episode that has been requested for years, and I finally feel ready to share it. This is our adoption story episode. I’m going to share the story of how we ended up adopting two children from China. 

Emma: Yeah. I’m excited. So Elsie I can’t believe we haven’t done this before. 

Elsie: I know why ’cause it’s scary. It’s scary for me. It’s just kind of a big topic. 

Emma: She thinks she’s going to piss someone off. I don’t understand that honestly. Every story of your children is different, you know, whether it’s adoption or birth or whatever. They’re all different. Like, I don’t know. 

Elsie: That is like, the greatest takeaway, Emma just said it, to remember that all adoptions are different. And I’m not trying to speak for anyone else, but I do kind of think I’m excited to share our story, because obviously it’s, like, one of the greatest things that’s ever happened in my life. Yeah, I feel ready now, finally. I’m gonna start with a disclaimer. You had to know. You had to know. Right? Okay, so before I jump in, I feel like it is important for me to acknowledge that adoption is a complicated and even kind of messed up subject. The reason why I never wanted to do this episode was because I was terrified of saying something wrong or speaking for my children, speaking for other adoptees, speaking for the adoption community, and I don’t want to do that. So before we begin, I want to clearly say that I’m sharing our experience. It doesn’t represent any other adoptive families or adoption in general, and I really hope I can do the topic justice because it’s really a special important topic to me. I do think that more awareness and compassion are needed in the adoption world. There’s a lot of bad information that just goes around unchecked seemingly forever. So hopefully this episode will be, I guess, if nothing else, a good story. 

Emma: Yeah, I mean, it’s a story of a family coming together, so it’s beautiful. And I don’t know, I think I’m not as much in the adoption world as you, because I’m not a parent who has adopted children, so I don’t know of all the bad things that you likely see or that people probably say to you from time to time, or Whatever. So I just, I’m like, Oh, this is the story of your family. Let’s hear it. That’s all I really have for me. 

Elsie: True, true. Yeah. I think you probably speak for almost everyone in that way. So, okay. I’m going to give a little bit of background about just like why adoption is complicated. 

Emma: Yeah. It’s complicated. Okay. Yeah. Let’s do that. 

Elsie: So the first one is there are many adoptees who suffer horrible experiences, so there’s a large community of adoptees who think adoption should not happen, specifically international adoption. There are lots of adoptees who would call their experience like being trafficked, and they felt that they went somewhere into a family that they didn’t want to be in. So I just want to like leave space for that completely because that is very valid and honestly, I’ve seen it myself in the adoption community like It’s just a mess. The second thing is that our culture is very quick and aggressive to paint adoptive parents as heroes. I was not expecting that when we first announced we were adopting. It was just like an onslaught of people complimenting me in ways that were not appropriate at all, and it kind of never ended. So, I do want to clearly say that the adoptees are the heroes. My children are the heroes in our story. My husband and I, we’re the lucky ones in our story. So, I think that’s just a misconception that is unfortunately just so prevalent. 

Emma: Yeah. And I think that kind of speaks to some of the, what I would consider outdated ideas about what adoption is, that it’s like a second choice or, you know, something along those lines that you once in a while hear people say, and it’s like, whoa, let’s update that. So, yeah, there’s a lot of old information as well. So let’s all keep our hearts open to change. 

Elsie: Definitely. Definitely. Yeah. And I guess that’s, this is a good time for me to say, l myself, have used the wrong terms and misspoke about adoption before, too. It’s very easy to do, and when I realized I had done it, I, like, lost sleep over it. It’s a horrible feeling, and I think that learning all the correct terms, just like the, you know, best practices of a new subject is something that everyone has to learn for the first time, and there’s, I think, a grace period, and, you know, like, no one’s born knowing this information. 

Emma: Yeah, it’s okay to make mistakes as long as you’re open to change and growth, I think. Because how else can you live? You have to be right all the time, which no one is. 

Elsie: Okay. And then the last thing is there’s so much good information now. When we did our first adoption, we had a lot of required courses that we had to do which were training for trauma and special needs adoption and international adoption. And there’s so much proactive work being done to make things better, but there’s still just a lot of problems. So I think that it’s kind of important to let both things be true that there are a lot of people out there trying to make it better as quickly as possible and there’s also a lot of people who just sort of like refuse to learn or change in my lifetime It’s one of the most strangest communities I’ve ever been a part of.

Emma: Yeah, I could see that. Yeah, I also think in a broader sense, I hope this doesn’t diminish adoption in any way because I don’t mean it to. I just think that parenting is kind of a weird area where a lot of times you encounter just other parents generally who are doing it very differently from you. And that can be kind of hard sometimes when you don’t agree with the approach someone else may be taking or the views they have on it. 

Elsie: Now that you mention it, it’s very similar. It’s just hard when you see someone else saying or doing something that you so passionately disagree with and you feel like it’s pretty common knowledge and like an outdated belief or behavior. You’re always going to see people doing things that you wouldn’t do probably in any area of life, but parenting sort of like brings it out because there’s an innocent child involved, which is very complicated. So yeah, that said weirdest community I’ve ever been a part of, but also I have some of like my best friends in the world, our fellow adoptive parents, and people who I met through the process. And it’s not all weird people, but it definitely, for me, was like a culture shock. I loved it. I’m so glad we did it. We are certain now that our family is complete and our journey is over. Another reason why this is a good time to do this episode is because we, for a little while, I was like, Oh, maybe, you know, no, no, no, no, no, no, we’re done. 

Emma: Yeah, I think to like, I always have more perspective on something the farther I get away from it. And I think that can even change like 10 more years from now or when your girls are adults, you know, and I think that’s really normal. I think it’s kind of good to be always reflecting, and I don’t know, growing from it, hopefully. Okay, so when did you first know that you wanted to adopt? And also, was this, like, something that you and Jeremy both felt at the same time? Because I feel like that’s something that a lot of partnerships deal with, too. 

Elsie: So yeah, when we first got married, I was always, like, someone who was open to adoption or dreamed of adopting. It’s just something that, since childhood, I thought was interesting and seemed cool to me. When we got married, I definitely communicated that to Jeremy, and he didn’t have strong feelings, which is pretty typical for him. He’s not much of, like, a strong-feelings kind of guy, would you say? 

Emma: Yeah, he rarely has, like, a super strong opinion about something. 

Elsie: Yeah, he’s pretty chill. He is the type of person who does not plan ahead compared to me. We’re very different in that way, so he’s not planning his life. He doesn’t have a 10-year plan. But I do. So I made sure that he wasn’t against adoption because I think that could have been sort of a deal breaker for me. When we were first married, we followed someone on Instagram who adopted a child from China. And it was like when we were living in our first house in Missouri, we were probably married for two years or three years, and we followed this adoption story. It just, like, got us. It just, like, you know, went into our hearts and, like, it was like a seed was planted, and he said, that he felt something like maybe he could be open to it someday, and I took that as like a blood oath, you know, how I do. Yeah, so I kind of always knew. So, then we formed a plan. We were trying to get pregnant and conceive. And we tried for a couple of years, but like, okay, I’ll just be like, honest, whether this is weird or not, we didn’t really try that hard. We were rolling the dice. Yeah, we were trying on like, the low level, like, there’s no birth control, and there’s no worries about contraception.

Emma: You weren’t like testing for when you were in your window?

Elsie: I think I did. I think I did that a few times, but like just not really. And then the other thing was at this time in our lives, Emma and I were traveling all the time, every month we had a trip. So we were off and unsynced a lot, just like logistically that went on for, I think, I don’t even remember now, but I think it was like one to two years. It might’ve been like two years, but with a break in the middle or like, you know, whatever, like if we were moving or something, anyway, we had said like, okay, well, if we don’t become pregnant by our fifth anniversary, then we’ll just start our adoption process. At the time, I felt like I would be happy either way. I felt like we could have biological children and adoptive children. I kind of didn’t care, honestly, which is very uncommon. And like, I like to acknowledge that because they feel like when, like a lot of people have these very traumatic experiences around conception, like, and I just didn’t have that at all. So I don’t want to like, seem like I did. So yeah, the fifth anniversary rolled around and I was like, let’s start our adoption tomorrow. Like I was so happy and it just felt right. It felt good. 

Emma: Why did you pick the China program? It sounded like you followed a story earlier in your marriage together that was a Chinese adoptive family. But did you consider any of the other programs? Did you consider domestic or were you like, well, we connected with that story, so we’re going to just roll with that and see how it goes? 

Elsie: So, historically, the China adoption program was one of the, like, larger international adoption programs in the US. 

Emma: It’s a very big country. 

Elsie: Yeah. It was really, really big in, like, the 1990s. And by the time we adopted, for the first time, our first adoption was in 2017, I think. The program was, like, significantly, significantly smaller by the time we began our adoption. When we got into the program, they immediately told me, I remember my first phone call, like it was yesterday, they immediately said, this is a special needs adoption program only. So, like, think about that. There were people, I think, still on a waiting list from, like, years before that, like, five years before that, who were waiting for children without special needs. And like every once in a while there were children without special needs, but it was a special needs program, and the story we had followed was a special needs adoption with a cleft lip and palate. So we knew that, and I think at the time I had the impression that that was very common. I don’t think it’s as common as I thought it was. I had it in my brain that we were adopting a child from China with a cleft lip and palate because of the story we followed. And I know many families, like after us had it in their mind that they were adopting a little girl with albinism, you know? And then it turned out differently for them as well. We did explore a bunch of programs. We did talk to an adoption attorney to do domestic infant adoption. And we talked to the people at Holt. This is the program we used and they facilitated a lot of different countries, international adoption. So we were able to, like, hear an overview of all the different programs at that time. And China was the program with the shortest waiting period at that time. So that was why we picked it, I think, primarily. And also it was just the program that we had, like, been exposed to and knew the most about. So yeah, it felt like a good program.

Emma: Did you encounter a lot of stereotypes when it came to your adoption? Like, I guess when you started talking about it online or while you were in the process of it with other people in the program or family members or friends who you had told, you know? 

Elsie: Everything you think could happen when you say you’re adopting does happen. Sooner or later, all the stereotypes about Adoption in general, including really old-fashioned ideas. Like, are you going to tell your children they’re adopted is a question that people ask me. As far as I know, I don’t know anyone in the 2020s who doesn’t tell their child they’re adopted. I think that’s like an idea from the 1950s or something.

Emma: It’s pretty tricky with your girls.

Elsie: I love the way we do it where it’s like we’ve always celebrated the adoption and let it be a part of their story. I mean, it is a part of their story. Like, yeah, it just is. Yeah. And then also stereotypes about China have been alarming. I know that racism is real. I never thought that it wasn’t real, but I didn’t know how drastic it was until I adopted children from China and I had the new filter in my brain of not wanting them to hear people, even people in our lives, talking about China. It, like, it hurts. It hurts, and it’s horrible. And, you know, I hope it changes, but it’s, it’s worse than I thought it would be, and then stereotypes about special needs adoption, probably out of all the categories, like I don’t think you should talk someone into adoption who’s not interested. Like I think if you don’t want to adopt, don’t adopt, great. But for people who are interested in adoption, I do like to spread awareness about special needs adoption because it’s just so varied. It’s just become such a wonderful, big part of our lives, and I’m so glad that we had the information and we’re open to it at the time when, you know, it all happened. I think it’s something that people can be fearful about without information, and those fears can be, like, very easily eased with more information. So, yeah, I think that that’s definitely a stereotype in the adoption world that, yeah, hopefully, will get better over time. 

Emma: Why don’t you tell us a little bit about the process of when you were matched with Nova?

Elsie: So both of our adoptions were very different in the timeline. For Nova’s adoption, we were told that it was an 18-month program. So we kind of started our process. I wish that I would have had someone who was, like, very type 1 sit down with me in the beginning and sort of explain to me, like, these are the things you can do to stay on your timeline and make it go faster. Like, the proactive things because at that point in my life, I was ready to be a mom and adopt a child. Like, yesterday, I was, like, real emotional about it. And I think anyone who’s been through that understands, like, I was definitely in a hurry. We had a social worker. I think she was at the end of her social working career. I’m sure it’s a hard job. And she just wasn’t very proactive or on top of it. The paperwork that you have to turn in. She gave me a lot of extra stuff that we didn’t have to do the second time and that a lot of people, other families have never heard of before. It was just like a big extra, like a lot of extra homework. And then she also gave me a very long timeline. And the second time I did it, I did it all in two weeks. Cause I knew that you could. And the first time, I think I took like months, like maybe three to six months like I took months to get it all done. Cause I thought that was normal, and I thought I was on track. So then when we were about a year into it, we had these phone calls and stuff where they told us like, you’re not on track, like for an 18-month program anymore. And I was like devastated. And I was like that we’re going to go through another Christmas and it just wasn’t what I was expecting. I think that that was a part of why we were so open-minded. And, yeah, our special needs checklist, I think, it’s a checklist of 30 to 50 conditions, and we had checked, like, 20 of them. And it seemed like we had checked everything we were open to, but we hadn’t checked off albinism. Like, we were intimidated by the legally blind status, and it’s intimidating. Like, a noncorrectable medical condition is more intimidating than something you can remedy with surgery, right?

Emma: I also think it’s really okay to like be open to some things and not it’s kind of the same thing. It’s like if someone’s not open to adoption or they are, I don’t think you should villainize someone for those types of things. I also think if, by the way, you don’t want to have Children at all. That doesn’t make you a bad person. It is okay to have different. 

Elsie: That’s a really good point. There are so many families who only put like five things on the list or ten things and there’s nothing wrong with that. So yeah, we should be very clear about that. There’s kind of nothing wrong with anything. One of the awkward things about adoption is that, at least in our program, you have to say preferences. 

Emma: Which you don’t do if you’re doing like biologically conceiving, but you probably still have some things inside you. You just don’t have to fill out a form.

Elsie: Yeah, it’s awkward. We were kind of unsure about it. We had the great fortune to have, reconnected with an old friend who is living only a few hours away from where we were living in Nashville, and she came to visit us with her daughter who was adopted from China and has albinism. So like, what kind of a miracle is that? Like, it’s a very rare condition. 

Emma: Quite a coincidence. Maybe the universe knew. 

Elsie: In my whole life, like, just out in public in life, I’ve only seen a person with albinism, like, less than ten times. And I’m, like, very aware about it now. Like, most people wouldn’t be.

Emma: Ever since you adopted, same. Very aware of it. And I think it’s only happened twice. 

Elsie: I looked it up when we were first researching and it seems like in the entire world, the population of people with albinism is about the number of people that live in our medium-sized town in Missouri. 

Emma: In the whole world. Wow. 

Elsie: So it’s very, very rare. We were very lucky to be able to meet a child with albinism in person before having the match and stuff. Okay, so how the match happen? It was a long emotional summer, and we were waiting and waiting. We were having lots of, like, extra calls being like, but please! And they were like, we’ll do our best, but no, there’s no hope for you. You know what I mean? 

Emma: I remember being in the phase of longing. That’s when I wrote my murder book because I went a little crazy. Yeah. I think most parents who remember that phase, it’s a hard time when you’re just longing and longing.

Elsie: Yeah. So the way we’re matched is in addition to. All of the families who, you know, have their checklist or whatever, they have all that on file. They also will send email updates to the families who are in the program with pictures of children who are in the China Adoption Program, who are logged in, who are ready to be adopted, and just kind of in the hopes that someone will see the picture and like have a connection. And so that’s what happened to us. We saw this picture of Nova. They have what they call an advocacy name. They give the child-like kind of a random white person’s name. Yes. And her name was Molly. And it was just like Molly. And it was a picture of her with this little like paper hat on her head.

Emma: And I have it on my phone. You know what your phone is like. The album, it makes albums of, that’s the first one in the Nova folder because with the hat. 

Elsie: The first picture we ever saw. And I think I immediately was like, Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy. I remember him saying like, oh, she’s so cute. And then he kind of didn’t like to bring it up to me anymore. He’s very reserved. He thinks about things for a long time. He’s very thoughtful. He’s very different from me. I’m very impulsive and sure of a decision and he’s like very, like, I’ll think about it for an extra few weeks. Sometime within the following few days, Emma and our friend Jackie were visiting. We were all at the house together and he called me into the basement and it sounded kind of like urgent. So I went down there and he had his computer pulled up and he was like Okay, I don’t know how to tell you this, but I sent an email to Holt and asked for more information about this child, and they just sent me the whole file, like, as if we could be matched, like, today. And I was like, what? And I started, like, bawling. Like, we’ve read the report, the information on the documents is, like, it’s translated, and it’s pretty sparse information. 

Emma: Yeah, it’s a little vague. 

Elsie: Yeah, a little vague. It will leave you with more questions than answers. It had a couple of photos and it had a video and I think the video, I don’t know like it was like the greatest moment of my life seeing the video and knowing that this like possibility had just been opened to us, I think it was July or August at that time. So like my brain, it was just going so quickly, like maybe we will be together at Christmas. You know, it was like the thing I was obsessed with.

Emma: At the time was she one and a half, two, I’m trying to remember cause she’s over two and you went together. 

Elsie: She was two. He had to think about it. After that, so I didn’t tell my sister, I didn’t tell Jackie, it was the hardest thing ever, we were like hanging out, and I was like all giddy, but also like nervous, and like, I couldn’t tell anyone, and so we waited, I don’t know, it was maybe a week or not even a week, and it was the day, I don’t know if anyone remembers this, but it was like a very big lunar eclipse in Tennessee in 2016. So we went out to our friend’s house in the country and, you know, we had the little glasses. And he told me, like, when we were on our way there in the car, it was a memorable moment that I’ll never forget. You know, it changed everything. Like, from that moment on, we knew we were going to be a family with this specific child. It was a very, very beautiful moment. 

Emma: Speaking of beautiful moments, let’s talk about the first time meeting Nova. And then, maybe just, generally your first year at home. Cause we’re also, we gotta talk about Goldie too. We wanna talk about both these beautiful little angels. Let’s talk about meeting Nova for the first time.

Elsie: Okay. The first child, it’s like the moment you become a parent. It was a very, very big deal. So, we Officially, knew we were going to adopt Nova in August, and then we eventually got our travel dates for December. So it was a pretty short amount of time to have to wait. Traveled to China, it’s one of the most surreal moments of my life. Just every single thing about it, like the hotel breakfast, Emma went with us on our second trip so she understands, it’s like these very specific sensory memories. It’s Like you never forget it in your whole life. Like the Western hotels in China breakfast buffets are incredible. And they’re like, just different from anything you ever see in your entire life. 

Emma: You can get dumplings. You can get hash browns. Oh, it’s the best. 

Elsie: It’s like some food from McDonald’s and also like a full bar of like full Chinese food. And it was a wonderful travel experience. We loved China. The day we met Nova, we woke up so early, and then we had to wait till like 10 am for our guide. We always had a guide because, you know, we don’t speak Mandarin, yeah, we can’t get around. Like, yeah, having a guide was, like, really wonderful and fun too, cause it’s like someone who can, like, explain everything to you, and you can ask any question, and you kind of become friends. We went to this building like we had heard so many adoption stories because you know It’s like a thing you do while you’re adopting is you read other people’s stories, right? And we knew that it would probably be in like a civil affairs building Which is kind of just an office building and usually people will say you’re just like sitting in a room and then all of a sudden they bring in a bunch of children and everyone’s just like matching with children. Our situation was kind of different because Nova’s province didn’t have a lot of adoptions, and there was only one other family there with us. When we got to the building, we like, went up an elevator, and as soon as the elevator opened, we could see she was already sitting there on the couch, and it was just the most stomach-dropping feeling you can ever have. We tried to say hello. We tried to give her this little toy. She was like, you know, not into it. And she had had a long three-hour van ride that morning where she was bawling the entire time and very scared. It was difficult and challenging, but it was nothing that we weren’t prepared for or expecting based on the training and stuff. It was just all the things that we were told could happen, happened, and it was difficult in the moment. Like, in the moment, I would have said it was, like, one of the hardest times of my life. But then, in hindsight, it was over so quickly, and she adjusted so quickly, and we were, able to be having fun together in, like, a matter of weeks.

Emma: Yeah, I mean, it’s a big adjustment for her. That makes a lot of sense. It seems very natural and normal. But also, I’m sure, very scary. And I think becoming a parent for the first time for anyone, all the different ways it happens, is a big adjustment. 

Elsie: Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Like, thinking from a child’s perspective. Like they don’t know what an orphanage is. They don’t care. They just know that this is like my safe place with people I know and things I like and like all my familiar comforts in this whole world. Yeah, if you think of it that way you can understand why children can’t or won’t be like excited or grateful most of the time on the day they’re adopted, and like that’s just like normal and we weren’t expecting it to be any other way. 

Emma: I don’t expect my kid to be grateful till he’s in his 30s. I think it takes a lot of perspective. So I didn’t even feel like I fully understood everything our parents did for us until more recently. And then you’re like, Oh, wow. 

Elsie: It’s true. It’s true. I know I didn’t appreciate our parents until I was an adult, basically. I was at least in my 20s or 30s, yeah. 

Emma: So, no, kids don’t have to be grateful all the time, that’s too high a standard. 

Elsie: Yeah. But yeah, it was a beautiful time. Yeah, we had a lot of fun in China. The first year, was definitely one of the greatest years of my life. It was so, so much fun. I don’t know what it’s like to have an infant. I have had lots of friends or family members with infants, and I love infants. But adopting a two-and-a-half-year-old and starting from that point was, like, so fun because we were communicating in less than a week. She was learning English. 

Emma: Yeah, that’s Oscar’s age now. And it’s a very fun age. Very, like, personalities blossoming. Yeah. Imagination. Yeah. You can communicate so much more than an infant. 

Elsie: We were able to do a lot of things really quickly. We were making crafts. Like, we got home, I think, in December. 15th, maybe. And we were making like Christmas crafts and we were decorating the Christmas tree and, you know, so it was a very magical time. I love the toddler age. You know, we were going through all of these first. One of the things that’s kind of unique about China adoption is pretty often the children have, like, their head shaved, that’s, like, very normal. Boys and girls alike, everyone has their head shaved just to, like, I think to make things easier. So Nova’s first haircuts and, like, her little, like, first, like, little twiggy pigtails were such a moment for us. It was the best year ever. I can’t say enough good that it was, you know, the biggest life change, which it always would be, but I feel like we jumped into just, like, a dream life. It really was, like, just an amazing life together. And it’s been great. It’s been wonderful. 

Emma: Okay, well, tell us a little bit about when you started thinking about doing a second adoption. Like, did you know right away? Or you were like, we’re going to take a few years.

Elsie: For our second adoption, we knew how long the process could take, and we knew the 18 months, we had heard people from Holt say, oh no, it’s 24 months. And like, as the number of adoptees was going down every year, obviously the waiting periods went up every year. So we were like, okay, it’s already like two years, plus we had decided that we wanted to adopt another child with albinism. Which, I would love to explain that, because I feel like this is probably one of the things I’ve been criticized for that I think people just don’t understand. Albinism is so rare that we thought that it would be wonderful for these two children to grow up together and have this shared experience. To have someone in their family who looks like them, and, you know, have all the same doctors, all the same challenges, and that alone, I think, is more than worth it, and like, a wonderful reason. Why not give them someone who looks like them in their family if you can? So, that was our reason. I will say a hundred percent I’m glad that we did it, and obviously things could have turned out differently and we could have adopted a child that didn’t have albinism. We were open to that too, but that’s just like not how it turned out. So, that’s the reason why. So when we started the paperwork, we wanted to start really early because we thought that the waiting period would be very long because specifically asking for a child with albinism. And for a younger age than what NOVA was. So that’s just a thing that’s recommended in adoption to keep the birth order if you can. Those were the specifications that we asked for and we just felt the likelihood that that would happen would be so small. So we were wrong about that. And I think we started our paperwork in the fall and we had gotten our home study approved. And one month later in January, we got a call to be matched with our second daughter, who was one year old, when we, were matched, and she had albinism, has albinism, like, we just couldn’t believe it, I can’t explain strongly enough what a miracle it was, like, children who were one year old, It’s pretty rare in our program. It’s just very, very rare. 

Emma: Like that’s very young?

Elsie: Yeah, it’s a, it’s a very young age because there’s all this prep work and process that the child goes through on the China end to be eligible for adoption that sometimes like takes a very long time. And like, it’s just not normal for one-year-old babies to be in the program. So that was pretty special. And then, you know, a child with albinism. It was just, like, the perfect moment. But we were surprised, to say the least. We were shocked because the second part of our paperwork wasn’t done yet. We had a longer waiting period before we could travel, so we had to wait six months. So we were matched in January and we traveled in July.

Emma: July, 2019?

Elsie: Yeah, it was 2019. We got ready to travel again. I will say that I had a little bit of grief. I think that second-child grief or fears are very extremely common. 

Emma: What! No, I’m just kidding. I definitely feel that every day. 

Elsie: Yes. Emma’s pregnant with her second child right now. I had a lot of grief that I didn’t feel like I had enough time with just Nova, and we really didn’t. We didn’t have as much time as we were expecting to. But you’ll see by the time the story’s over why it like was meant to be, it had to be this way, and we’re so grateful that it happened this way. But it was very soon. 

Emma: And I was like, so, you know, the concept of a third wheel, I would like to do the biggest third wheel ever. Can I come on the adoption trip? And they were like, yeah, you can go.

Elsie: We traveled together to China. Side note, we got to go to the Great Wall and it was so fun. We got to take an, what do you call it? Like a ski lift up to the top of the wall. 

Emma: That was terrifying. 

Elsie: And then, it was terrifying, and then ride this little slide all the way down.

Emma: I think they call it a toboggan. 

Elsie: Yeah, if you ever go to the Great Wall, try to go to the part where the slide is, because it’s so worth it, it was so cool. And yeah, anyway, it was definitely like a very different vibe from our first adoption trip. It was more of a party vibe because Nova was there. It wasn’t like the same feeling as going from not being a parent to being a parent. It was just like a big party. It was just like very exciting and Nova was excited. She was four years old at the time. 

Emma: Yeah, she was making cards for her.

Elsie: She had just turned four, and yeah, she had understanding. It was small but there. She understood what was going on. Yeah, it was completely magical. We knew that Marigold was going to be a year and a half old. I was expecting a typical one-and-a-half-year-old. But when we met her, she had the appearance of a six-month-old baby, like the size and weight of a six-month-old baby, and she also had like a lot of development markers of a six-month-old baby, but she had the dental of a one and a half-year-old, I think she really was one and a half, but it was kind of hard to believe. She didn’t walk. 

Emma: She seemed, yeah, more of an infant than a toddler. 

Elsie: Yeah, she didn’t walk at all, she didn’t talk at all, so from that moment on when we met her, it was night and day difference between our experience with Nova. So I kind of alluded to it earlier, but our initial first few weeks with Nova had like trauma and like adjustments.

Emma: She was old enough to have opinions.

Elsie: Yeah, she was going through grief and pain and Marigolds didn’t express anything. It wasn’t that she didn’t express, like, even grief and pain and trauma. She didn’t really express anything. She kind of was a very blank child, and it was for, like, more than a year. So the good thing about it was it was she was very, very easy. Like, it was all just pleasant, easy, and fun from day one, like on night one, it was like a party. We were having fun, but I think the thing that was hard about it was that like our initial just like bonding. Also, we were just worried about her for a long time because she did early intervention when we got home and she just had like a lot of catching up to do. Which, thankfully, everything was great and she caught up to her age level before she started school. Now that I know her personality, I kind of also understand that she’s not a people pleaser. She never performs for someone else. 

Emma: She’s a bit more of a loner, yeah. She’ll go play by herself more, like, that’s just her personality, yeah.

Elsie: So yeah, she was like a tiny baby. We were feeding her bottles, and she could crawl a little bit. It was very shocking, and confusing. 

Emma: Yeah, they brought her in, and I was like, Oh, you got a baby! This is not, this is not a toddler, this is a baby. I hope you brought baby stuff, because Whoa! 

Elsie: This is very memorable, on the night that we adopted her when we were having dinner, one of the other guides came up and sort of criticized us for not having formula and we were like, she’s a year and a half old, she can eat food. And they were like, you should have brought formula with you. And I was like, okay, we’ll get some tomorrow. Like and I was very rattled by it. It was a trip, for sure. It was just like, expect the unexpected, and they always say that. I don’t know, I still wasn’t prepared. 

Emma: You can’t really do that, though. That’s like, logistically, you can’t actually prepare for the unexpected. Just hear that sentence. You actually can’t do that. So, and then also, like, thinking about, like, packing for an international trip with a child you already have to adopt another child who you’re going to meet there. There are whole women who freak out about what we’re going to put in our hospital bag. You know what I mean? And that is to drive down the street to the hospital. Like, we could go, you know, to Walmart after, you know what I mean? It’s just a whole different, it’s like, this is a hard thing to prepare for. So, I don’t know how you could prepare for every scenario. 

Elsie: Yeah, shopping and everything in China is super duper different. It was fun, but like, I think that’s what the guide is there for though. As they helped with every single thing, everything worked out. It was great, but we had kind of a hilarious situation on the way home where we think Jeremy, like, took the wrong dose of cold medicine. And he was like, he was high when we were going through the airports. And like, super paranoid. And it was funny now, but at the moment it was like, not funny. Going through all the airports with two little kids and a double stroller and like passports and like, you know, the guides don’t come with you after they drop you off at the airport.

Emma: I had no kids with me and I had a hard time She was like you walk up to someone, and you don’t speak their language, I just hand them all my documents. Like where should I go? 

Elsie: Yeah, I think he actually I don’t know took a double dose or too much in the middle of the night or didn’t realize what time it was or something happened. 

Emma: That can happen, you wake up in the night, and you think, oh, I didn’t take it yet, but you did.

Elsie: Yeah, it was a beautiful, wonderful trip. And yeah, we’re really thankful that Emma came with us. I can’t wait to go back to China. 

Emma: China is very cool. I only saw a tiny part of it, obviously, but it’s very cool. One of the most interesting places I’ve ever been, for sure. Well, so that was the summer of 2019. So how did the China program change in 2020? Did anything happen that year? 

Elsie: So the program closed completely. I can’t remember if it was in December or January, but it shut its doors and didn’t have any movement at all for more than three years. That was kind of like the biggest mindfuck of my life was the idea that we almost could have missed it. Like we almost missed the window. We have a close friend who was matched and planning to travel right at the beginning of 2020 and she just traveled and adopted her child a couple of weeks ago this year in 2024. Many families didn’t make it through that long waiting period. They changed programs or, you know, they weren’t able to sustain a four-year wait, which is understandable. 

Emma: None of us knew how long any of that was going to last.

Elsie: During the beginning of the pandemic, it’s understandable that people thought they were about to travel. There are people who had their bags packed, who had their visas, who had, you know, like their travel itinerary. They had their tiny little clothing in their bags. The way that the weight was like rolled out, you know, obviously it was no one’s fault but at first it was like we hope that it will be in a few months and then later on It would be like we hope that it will be next year, and then it just kept being like we hope that’ll be next year. We hope that’ll be next year, we hope that’ll be next year. During all that time, it was very hard for people in the China adoption world to like, we already knew that the program was becoming smaller and smaller and was likely inevitably going to close. That was already a pretty common thing that people knew, but it was like, closed overnight. You know, now there are a few families who were matched before the pandemic who are traveling. But as far as I know, it’s not going to reopen again in the future. So that’s like a devastating loss for, I don’t know, it’s devastating in so many different ways. This is what I would say from a mom who has children from China. Please don’t tolerate people just blindly saying mean stuff about China. Like, say something when you hear it, because I just wish that it wasn’t, like, all the time. I think that, like, people need to learn that that behavior isn’t acceptable. 

Emma: Yeah, well it’s just, it’s not solely politics. I think sometimes you just want to say your political view and you kind of forget that there’s a lot of other things around that. Maybe just like, don’t say your dumb views. I don’t know. 

Elsie: Yeah, maybe just don’t. So yeah, the China program, that’s also another reason why I don’t share as much adoption stuff anymore, any adoption stuff is because the program’s been closed for four years, and as far as they’re not accepting new families to begin the program. I feel immensely grateful for the rest of my life for the miracle that we had our second adoption so quickly we were able to be together through the pandemic. I can’t imagine Nova being an only child for four extra years. I can’t imagine meeting Marigold when she was five years old instead of one, and it could have so easily happened.

Emma: She just turned six. So it’s hard to think about. Do you have anything you want to share about what it’s like being a Chinese American family living in the South the Midwest or the US? generally? 

Elsie: Being a Chinese American family is wonderful, and I feel like the luckiest person in the world. And also, it’s like a life-changing awareness of how mean people are. Mean, racist, yeah, intolerant. Yeah, comments about immigrants, migrants, comments about China, comments about any foreign people. Just like, hit very differently now. It’s definitely one of the issues that I vote for, you know, it’s at the top of my voting priorities. I just wish that people would have a lot more compassion, like love and generosity towards immigrants. I don’t know, it’s something that I wish I could shield my kids from, but it’s gonna be a big part of their life, no matter where they live in the US, but especially in the South and the Midwest. I want people to be more kind towards immigrants. So the funniest things people have said to me in public. Oh my god, like, oh, It can be so weird very often I would say once a month or more people ask me if the children’s hair color is natural. I always just say like, yes, it’s natural. It’s natural. Like, but like, you’re asking me if I dye a four-year-old’s hair, like, can you think like, or bleach?

Emma: Marigold would want you to do her hair. She like would get those permanent extensions if you would let her. If Marigold got to pick her own hair color, it would be pink for sure. 

Elsie: So that’s not the problem, but yeah, and I guess I can understand that because I think that like the way that a person with albinism looks, I like can’t see it anymore. I don’t notice that there’s anything different about them anymore because like, and you can’t like, it just kind of goes away, but I get it that like, when you’ve never seen a person, like a lot of people also act like seeing us in public is like a big opportunity for them to come and ask me a bunch of questions? It makes me mad, honestly. Like, I don’t want to be mean, but like, I just can’t imagine going up to a family and asking more than three or four questions about their children in front of their children. Like, it’s so rude, but people think that they’re being nice. That’s very awkward. Okay, but the worst thing of all time was that someone said to me, this is so bad, it was a checkout grocer in Nashville, and he said to me, is she from your seed? And I said, What? And he said, is she from your seed? And I said, she’s adopted. And then I left. 

Emma: We were like, number one, women don’t have seeds, we have eggs.

Elsie: Oh my god. Yeah. That’s a funny question. I know. Okay, and then one last thing I’ll say is that people come up to us kind of every time we go in public, and address the children and say, oh, you are so beautiful. You’re just so perfect. You’re so pretty. 

Emma: Which they are beautiful. 

Elsie: They’re gorgeous. They’re beautiful. Yeah. Like they know that. But the thing that’s weird is that it happens to us every day. And I wish that people knew what they’re saying isn’t special and like, isn’t really helpful. It happens every day. So it’s, it’s weird. Now the kids are just like, thanks. They can’t have a reaction to it and I feel like they’re getting like weird information from those comments and like, I don’t know It’s never gonna stop their whole lives, and an adult with albinism, when Nova was an little baby She explained to me like the best advice that was just like my mom taught me how to respond graciously to people, so I try to always have that attitude and be as gracious as I can but I do wish that people would stop acting like they’re the first person to ever give our kids a compliment about their appearance.

Emma: It’s hard not to notice, I will say. They’re gorgeous. So, on one hand, I get it, but on the other hand, getting stopped all the time when you’re trying to run errands. And yeah, I think, you know, little kids, it’s hard to know what they’re always taking in and how they’re interpreting that in their child’s brain. Just generally, I think not commenting on appearances can be a good move and just wait till you, like, have a kid in your life that you, like, know them a little better and you can compliment them on, you know, how focused they are. How hard they work, their courage, their love for others. 

Elsie: Literally anything but their appearance, yeah.

Emma: Yeah, I think commenting on someone’s appearance can just, can just backfire in ways you don’t mean it to, but it can. And so it’s like, well, you know, it’s not the best option. 

Elsie: Yep. Okay. So we’re going to go now to a joke or a fact with Nova. Hey Nova, what do you have this week? 

Nova: A joke. 

Elsie: A joke? Okay. 

Nova: Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

Elsie: Why?

Nova: Because he was feeling a little crummy.

Elsie: Oh, I like that one. That’s a good one. 

Nova: Thank you for having me. Bye. 

Elsie: Have a good week. All right. Thank you so much for listening I appreciate you so much and you feel like family, especially when we’re able to do an episode like this, that’s so deeply personal. We would love to hear your suggestions for future episodes. Email us at podcast@abeautifulmess.com. You can also leave us a voicemail question. Reminder, make them short and concise because we often play them on the podcast. The phone number is 417-893-0011. We’ll be back next week with a listener-question episode.

You can find the podcast posts archive here.

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Show Notes:

Nova’s Girl Scout Cookies

Decor inspiration

Diagon Alley: Ollivander’s – vibey and dusty, Honeydukes Sweet Shop – very cute, bank – very spooky experience

Hogwarts Express – very magical

Hagrid’s House – cozy and oversized

Weasley House – coziest house in the movie

Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes – very beautiful building with statue of the twins

Hogwarts – great hall is amazing

Gryffindor Lounge – Elsie would take this exact room

Anything you would use in your own home?

Elsie – Pretty much everything. The main things are a dining hall, paintings that move, and family photo albums that move.

Emma – Did a Harry Potter Airbnb

Anything you hated

Elsie – The pink office

Emma – Nothing

Other cozy inspiration (fashion, food, drink or anything?)

Castle aesthetic, Quidditch, every single dinner scene, Yule ball, floating pumpkins, candy cart on train, and moving paintings

Which house are you???

Elsie – House Slytherin

Emma – Ravenclaw

What aged well vs. what did not in this movie

Other than JK Rowling’s Twitter comments, the movie has aged WELL 10/10.

Please leave Elsie a 5 star review on her Butterbeer recipe: https://abeautifulmess.com/butterbeer-recipe/

Miss an Episode? Get Caught Up!

• Episode #217: Our Social Media Influencer Experiences
• Episode #216: What’s Up with A Beautiful Mess?
• Episode #215: Winter Survival Guide

Episode 218 Transcript:

Elsie: You’re listening to the Beautiful Mess Podcast, your cozy comfort listen. This week, we’re dissecting a favorite comfort watch movie for decor and home inspiration. This is an ongoing series for us. This week’s selection is Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Although we will really be talking about all eight of the movies and the books. So how much time do we have? 

Emma: I know, Elsie was like, let’s do one of the Harry Potters, and then it kind of turned into let’s do the first one, but also low-key all of them at the same time. 

Elsie: I didn’t feel like we should do eight of these episodes. I don’t know. 

Emma: That kind of becomes a Harry Potter podcast at that point. Which I’m not against, but I don’t feel like that’s what we’ve promised the people. So, yeah, I was like, okay, yeah, let’s just do Sorcerer’s Stone, but slash, we’ll talk about anything we feel like from any of the movies, because why not? We’re not going to do all of them, because that is, that’s too much Harry Potter. For our podcast, it’s not too much Harry Potter, generally, in my opinion, as it was my childhood staple. So. Anyway. 

Elsie: Magical. 

Emma: Magic. 

Nova: Hello, this is Nova again. I just wanted to remind you that I’m still selling Girl Scout Cookies, so if you want some Girl Scout Cookies, you better pop on there and get them because I’m not selling them forever. Again, I hope you enjoy them. Thank you. 

Elsie: Alright, describe the movie, Emma, for those who haven’t watched it. 

Emma: Well, it’s based on the first book in the series, so Harry Potter finds out that he’s a wizard and goes to Hogwarts for the first time, he’s an orphan, so he didn’t know his parents. He didn’t even know that he was a wizard and low and behold, he’s also famous. He’s like the most famous wizard at Hogwarts because of the way that his parents died defending him from Lord Voldemort. He must not be named the main bad guy in the series. And yeah, he goes through school. We get to see Halloween and Christmas in each of the books and each of the movies because it’s a school year. So that’s kind of how that works. We get to learn about Hogwarts in the first movies and just generally about the wizarding world. I feel like there’s a lot of like, world-building and groundwork setting, but it also has a really good story too, where there’s this kind of mystery of like, it seems like somebody is trying to break into Hogwarts to steal something, but we don’t know what it is. And they figure out what it is over time. And anyway, so, and then brand new little children, wizards foil the bad guys and save the world, which is what happens in every movie. And it’s awesome. 

Elsie: Good job. That was impressive. Yeah, I bow down. Okay, so memories from when you first watched this movie. I actually watched it not that long ago for the first time, when I was doing my biking thing a couple of years ago. And I watched the whole thing, and then recently For my birthday in November, I told Jeremy that the only thing I wanted for my birthday was to watch all the Harry Potter movies, and basically, I trapped him because he couldn’t say no. What a wonderful trap though. What a wonderful trip it was. So we spent about a month on that, and we usually watch like half a movie a night, and it was wonderful. It was, it was amazing. So I watched them all very recently and then I re-watched this one last week, we had a snow day and our daughters were reading the book for the first time together. So they are very into it right now, Nova the most. So yeah, the movie was very fun. Kind of like comparing them. It’s like really fast and short compared to the book, you know what I mean? Right, yep. It’s like every single scene is so quick, which I wouldn’t have known. But Yeah, anyway, tell me your first, because you started as a child, right? 

Emma: Yeah, I bought the first Harry Potter Sorcerer’s Stone at a, I believe, Scholastic. I think it was a Scholastic book fair. It was a book fair at school, and I think they were all Scholastic back then in Slash and still are. I don’t really know. But anyway, it was a book fair very end of sixth grade. So I was picking up some reading material for the summer. And I just hadn’t heard of it. It wasn’t popular in the US quite yet. And the cover looked interesting to me. Oh my God. So I bought it. Yeah. And then I read it and I was like, this book’s awesome. I honestly probably did buy it because it was longer. It’s kind of longer for a middle grade, and I was finishing sixth grade going into seventh grade and I liked reading, you know, I’m at the book fair buying stuff for summer. So I was obviously a cool kid, getting her reading material. So I probably was attracted to the length and yeah I read it and loved it. And so then I shared it with my friend at summer camp and she loved it. We stayed up every night reading chapters to each other and then we were both Harry Potter heads for the rest of our lives still to this day as far as I know, I am. So yeah, I’m positive I watched this movie when it came out, but I don’t totally remember because I do remember seeing the second movie, Chamber of Secrets, on a date, I’m pretty sure I was 15 or 16. And my date was a new driver, and, cause I don’t think our parents went with us. Yeah, and we loved it, you know, Harry Potter, it’s wonderful, but I think that was the second movie. So, I think this one came out before that, and I don’t remember. But I feel positive that I saw it probably in theaters if anyone took me, probably my parents did. I don’t know. But yeah, I’ve always loved Harry Potter. So it goes back far enough that I’m like, it’s a little hazy on the memories because I was that young, and I don’t remember. 

Elsie: Okay. So let’s get into the decor inspiration. We will really break it down. There’s a lot. I feel like there’s more than any movie we’ve ever talked about because of just everything. I mean, it’s a fantasy movie. I don’t know if we’ve ever done a fantasy movie before, but like every single thing is beautiful and perfect. There’s nothing normal. You know what I mean? Even like the quote unquote normal Dursley house is so special in such a good set. 

Emma: It is. It’s very campy, they really go out of their way to be like these are suburban and it’s just a fun house that feels dorky and campy and fun. 

Elsie: Yeah, I love it. Okay, let’s start with Diagon Alley Okay. So, Ollivanders, I’m gonna start there. The wand shop. Yes. I love, I love how it looks. I love how dusty you can tell that it is. It’s just like so vibey. 

Emma: Yeah, I feel like an inspiration for it was like, they were like, let’s make it like a cool ancient library, like, that’s what it’s gonna feel like, but there are not books, there’s just a bunch of wands on the shelves, you know, and it feels like it’s neglect, but then you can tell, you know, from his interactions with Harry, like, no, no, no, he knows exactly, like, he’s like, you know, reading the wizards as they come in and figuring out the wand for them and all that, and it’s really cool. And I love that he is low-key, like, tears up the shop as they’re trying to find the right wand for him. That’s so fun. 

Elsie: Yeah. I love the rolling ladders, the whole vibe of it, the, like, peeling gold paint on the sign. It’s perfect. Gorgeous. So Honeyduke’s Sweet Shoppe, that’s another one. It’s so cute. Emma and I got to go to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, but not recently. I think we’re going to go again this summer with the kids, but we went like five years ago, 10 years ago, a long time ago. 

Emma: Yeah, probably more than somewhere between five and 10, because I’m trying to think how old Penny was, she was little. But we did go to both. 

Elsie: And that was definitely my favorite part, I think. The sweet shop was so cute. I can’t wait to go with my kids. I love the sweets cart part is one of my favorite parts in the first movie. Just like, I feel like she put so much charm and character into, like, all the different types of candies and what they can do, and, like, why they’re different from, like, regular human candies. I just, like, love it. 

Emma: It’s such, like, a kid detail to be having these snacks on the train and, like, be so into them. And like how the frog one has collector cards with it and just, you know, all these little details are so fun. Also, I don’t think we have this on the list at Diagon Alley, but also at the bank. Gringotts. That’s a whole vibe too, because you have to take like the little cart down to your vault and there’s a dragon. 

Elsie: The cart looks legitimately terrifying. 

Emma: Yeah. It’s a very spooky experience. 

Elsie: Yeah, it looks scary. Like you could fall down into nothingness. I don’t like it.

Emma: Well, and also, it’s funny because, you know, I think she’s world-building for lots of different reasons, but I do feel like as a kid, money and finances and that whole world does feel like scary and otherworldly and like very adult. And so the idea that the bank is truly this kind of like scary place where it’s like very quiet and there’s like a dragon carding things and like, you know, it’s very secretive and like I think kind of like makes sense. I feel like as a kid you would have felt that way in a bank in some ways. Like if you ever went to like a, if your grandparents had like one of those like lock boxes or something like that, you know, it’s like this whole little world that you’re like, oh, there’s a vault. And if I got locked in there, I would die. It’s just this kind of terrifying thing. 

Elsie: I never went to a fancy bank when I was a child. I went to like the burnt popcorn type of banks. 

Emma: Yeah. They give you a lollipop in the bank bag. That’s not terrifying. That’s nice. 

Elsie: Yes. Okay. So another favorite location is the Hogwarts Express. I also love the King’s Cross. I want to go to the King’s Cross. Is that what it’s called? The King’s Cross train station? 

Emma: Yeah. Where they have the cart half in the wall. 

Elsie: Yeah. It’s a real train station, right? I want to go there, so bad. But anyway, the Hogwarts Express is, I mean, it’s so beautiful. Like, I love trains, and then I’ve been planning a luxury train vacation. So if you just like, if you don’t even know what I’m talking about, just like Google luxury trains in Europe and you’ll see, you’ll be like, Oh my God, this is like, this is magical. 

Emma: And if you don’t think they’re cool. You’re probably not close enough to your forties yet. So just come back to it later. 

Elsie: True. You’re going to love it. But yeah, the Hogwarts Express, it’s very magical. And I just like, I love like how the movie begins and ends with the train, it’s very special. There are not enough trains in the United States. I was so excited to move to New York for those six months we thought we were gonna move to New York because I wanted to live in a train world where there were trains you could take. Like, you know, in this part of the country, it’s very rare. 

Emma: I feel like Oscar’s obsessed with trains. And I feel like we’ve only gotten, like, stuck by one, like, where your car stopped and you’re waiting on it, like, once or twice. Because he loves it. So I remember, because he’s just like, that’s a train. He’s like, so stoked. 

Elsie: But like, passenger trains are even rare here. 

Emma: Yeah. No, I don’t even know if we have any around here. Other than we did the Polar Express. 

Elsie: The Polar Express. Yeah. I think there’s one in Branson that drives to Arkansas, so we could go to the suite, but. Okay, another favorite I am obsessed with is Hagrid’s house. I love how his chair is all giant when they’re sitting in it, and it just always feels cozy and like the ultimate fireplace type of vibe. 

Emma: It’s like so cozy and so oversized since he’s like a half-giant or whatever and yeah, he also it really gives you the vibe that he’s like a little bit of one of those like off-the-grid types who loves the outdoors like, you know, it almost feels like a little bit of camping his cottage It’s very cute.

Elsie: Yeah. I love Hagrid. I love dragons. I love everything. Okay. Another great house in the movies is the Weasley house. I would say it’s probably the coziest house throughout the movies. It’s just like so cute. I like how vertical it is and I love their kitchen. 

Emma: Yeah. We see it more in later movies. It’s just very interesting. You very much get the vibe that it’s been cobbled together with both magic and human stuff, which is kind of like Mr. Weasley’s job. He’s like obsessed with humans and likes to learn about muggles and their technology, you know, which is why he has the car in the second movie, you know, different things. And I kind of feel like their house has that vibe where you’re like, Oh, there’s like human stuff, quote unquote muggle stuff in here, but it’s also very wizardry. 

Elsie: Okay, one of my favorite parts of all the movies Is when Fred and George make their own magic shop.

Emma: Entrepreneurs, you knew it was coming, those two.

Elsie: It’s ultimate. It’s called Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes. It’s such a short scene. When we rewatched it, I was like, Oh my God, it’s so short. I thought it would be longer in my memory, but it’s magical. They were selling like love potions.

Emma: It’s kind of like pranks and like mischievous things, you know, which is their brand, their whole brand. 

Elsie: Yeah. It’s incredible. And like, the outside of it has like a big sort of like statue of the twins. And it’s just like a very beautiful building as well. 

Emma: You know, I would read a parenting book written by the Weasleys because I feel like all their kids turn out so great. They’re all just like dancing to the beat of their own drum and they’re all good people who love, you know. I’m like, I don’t really feel like they did something right at that family. They really had it, you know, a very loving environment. That must be it. Very accepting. 

Elsie: Yes. Agree. Okay, so in Hogsmeade is where there’s like a little, is there a, what’s it called, a Leaky Cauldron in Diagon Alley and one in Hogsmeade, I think.

Emma: Is there one in Hogsmeade? That sounds right. 

Elsie: There definitely is, because that’s where I know they had the Butterbeer. And they were at the school. 

Emma: Yeah it has the pub where the students can go, which growing up reading the books always, they’re always so like little British things where you’re like, huh, well that’s different because like, we don’t have like bars in the U S where like high school students can go. Like that’s just not really, you know, I’m not saying no on underage drinks or whatever. Butterbeer is not supposed to be an alcoholic, but you know. It’s just like, I don’t know, it’s just funny, like culturally, you’re like, what is going on here, you know? 

Elsie: Well, I think of it kind of like, you know how in high school, their bars would have like all-ages concerts though? Where you’re allowed to go you have to have like a special bracelet and a big X on your hand. Maybe it’s like that. Maybe they have their own distinctions. 

Emma: Well, they have a younger drinking age too, I guess that was where I was going with that. 

Elsie: Yes. And then yeah, other than that, I mainly just wanted to talk about Hogwarts itself because it has so much good decor, and inspiration.

Emma: Every time they’re in the Great Hall, having any kind of meal or talk, love it. But especially in the first movie, the opening scene’s great when they have the first big meal after the sorting hat, but I also love Halloween when they have all the floating jack-o-lanterns. And I feel like the CGI gets better and better throughout the movies because they take place over like 10 years, so of course, technology moved forward. But I actually feel like the first movie has, like, it’s still really good. It’s still, like, really fun. 

Elsie: I remember on our trivia from, like, another time we talked about Harry Potter on the podcast that it said that the candles were actually real candles. That really was dripping and stuff, that’s so interesting. Maybe they weren’t always but that’s crazy.

Emma: Well, the floating jack-o-lanterns are definitely some kind of CGI thing. I think. They look cool and I really feel like they went for it. There’s a good mix as you look at the snacks on the table there’s like a big bowl of apples with like a big fake spider on top. I feel like there’s also some level of Pinterest moms doing the set design where I was like, I love this. It feels cozy. It feels like something I would do at my house, but obviously, I wouldn’t do it on this scale because this is a really cool movie that I love, but you know, and yeah, it’s just really cozy and fun.

Elsie: Yeah. On a smaller scale, I really want a room like that. I really want a dining room like that in my house. Like, it’s so incredible, like, magical, and like, the food all the way down the table, it’s just like, it’s a feast. It’s always a feast. I love it. Okay, so anything from the movie that you would use for your own home, for real? 

Emma: I mean, I did decorate an entire Airbnb like Harry Potter one time on a tight budget, but nevertheless. 

Elsie: I thought it was really cute, at the time, it was before I went into my Harry Potter era, and now I wish I could have been more involved. 

Emma: So you’re like, what’s this dork even doing? And now you’re like, oh, that was good, but it could have been better if I was involved. I see how it is. 

Elsie: Basically. 

Emma: I see how it is. Yeah, I mean. I love the coziness. I don’t feel like we do quite as much moody stuff. We’re a lot more minimal. 

Elsie: Emma’s house is pretty bright and airy and white.

Emma: And pretty minimal, really. And Hogwarts is very maximal. Spooky maximal.

Elsie: It’s okay if you say no because I’m going to say yes. 

Oh yeah, your house feels like Hogwarts to me in some ways. 

So pretty much everything from the movie I would take into my own home, it’s a pillar of my aesthetic, very literally, I reference it, Jeremy like asked me to stop, but I do sometimes say that I want to have a Harry Potter style room, and like, I don’t know, it sounds it’s like, maybe you would interpret that as, like, a kid’s style, but what I mean by it is, like, a rich, English, rich looking, castle y, like, you know, vintage rugs, vintage paintings, yeah, dark academia, just to not call his music studio Harry Potter themed anymore.

Okay. Well, all right. Just because we don’t say it out loud doesn’t mean it’s not true, but very well. 

Yeah. But the main things I would take for my own home are, I would definitely take the dining hall. I have like a slight dream in my mind about building a longer dining room. So if I do that, I will use that as an inspiration on the mood board. And we’ll do the candles and the pumpkins a hundred percent for sure. Like, ’cause that’s essential, and then the other thing that I became really obsessed with in my last rewatch a couple of months ago, was the paintings that move, and at the time we had just finished our living room and I had just hung some art and I was kind of trying to mix vintage art with contemporary art, and I had it all up there, and it was like, okay, but it just felt off to me, and after I watched the movie, I moved all the contemporary art upstairs, and I started doing the living room in only antique paintings, and now it feels like amazing, so I do have to credit the movie for that, like, it put me in the right headspace.

Yeah, and I heard you telling Jeremy how you want to rig it where your staircase moves, and he was like, no. No, I’m just kidding. 

I mean, what I wouldn’t pay for just one moving painting, though. I know. Oh, you know what I mean? 

Yeah. I mean, you could get that kind of hologram-looking, you know, kind, but it’s not the same.

Nope, nope, no, no, no, no, no. That’s dumb. 

I mean, it’s, fun for a season, like a seasonal decor thing. I don’t know. 

Yeah. Maybe so for Halloween. Yeah, and also the thing I’m fixated on more than anything is like the family photos, the family albums that move. Yeah. It’s so sweet, and I wish they were really so bad.

It makes me think a lot about like live photos. And how, like, you can, like, you know, press it in your phone and, like, the person moves. 

That’s true. That’s true. I guess we have it in a way. 

I don’t know how you would display that in a home where it would move, but, you know, it is kind of cool as far as, like, technology goes. I love Live Photos. I leave mine on all the time because I just feel like they capture your kid in a way. Infants and toddlers especially. 

Okay, anything from the movies you hated? 

Oh, man. I don’t really think so, to be honest.

For me, it was the pink office. The pink office did it so perfectly because the whole movie is so rich and dark and moody and like cool and British and then that room was so It felt like cool light bulbs or something. It just gives you this visceral feeling of nausea. I hated it more than any other part of all the movies for sure. And that character for sure. It’s like the worst character. Yeah. That’s the only thing I got an ick from the entire time though. 

Yeah. No, I think I love everything. Cause you know, as you said, I feel like that is how you’re supposed to feel about that character and about the room and you know, so yeah, I also like pink. There’s not a lot of pink. It’s the only pink time. It’s the only pink moment. 

Yeah. So any other inspiration, fashion, food, drink, anything I put down, I love a castle aesthetic. Obviously, it’s so warm. Oh, we should mention it also. The Gryffindor, like, lounge area, you know, like, their, like, living room, it’s their own, it’s like fireplace, vintage rugs, it’s very cool in there. It’s, like, very vibey. I would take that exact living room. 

Oh, yeah. I also, honestly, I have an appreciation now, more than when I was reading the books as a kid and growing up, for Quidditch. Like the sport. I feel like, you know, they show it in the movies a lot and it’s featured in the books quite a bit and they even have later, later movies there’s one where they’re having like the World Cup basically of Quidditch and We didn’t really grow up watching sports. Neither of our parents are super sports people. We would watch the Olympics. Like I feel like Elsie’s the enthusiasm of her family. So if she was into something like figure skating, then we knew all about Christy Yamaguchi that year, you know what I mean?

Life long love of either figure skating or gymnastics, whichever, you know, summer or winter it is. 

And the Olympics are so cool. I feel like it’s a cultural thing in addition to sports. It’s like, you know, so anyway, so there’s a little bit of that. But we just weren’t really a sports family. And my husband and his family watch a lot of college football. So I feel like I now I’m like in the football world. And I even watched a Chiefs game the other day with friends. And I really enjoyed it because I actually finally kind of know about football. I wouldn’t say I know all the rules, but I would say like, I know what’s going on, you know? Someone who didn’t grow up knowing anything about any sport really, but especially football. And anyway, Quidditch kind of has this whole culture. I have a more appreciation for it as like sports and everyone’s into it and everyone has their team and everyone gathers and it’s this kind of cultural thing. And I like that she’s put it into the wizarding world that there’s this sport that they’re all into that’s essentially their football, their soccer, but you know. The wizards played, and it was fun. It’s very cute. It’s really cute, and it’s kind of a wacky game. Like, the rules don’t totally add up to me, as far as, like, how much the snitch is worth versus other points. But nevertheless, it’s very cool, and I like how, like, into it people get in the movies and the books. It’s fun. 

It’s very fun. Okay, yeah, every single dinner scene is my favorite scene of all the movies. They always just have like the most food you’ve ever seen in your life and like it’s funny and like it’s always different. And, yeah, it’s magical. I love it when they have the Yule Ball and Jeremy noticed that Johnny Greenwood was performing when he was like a part of the band, which was really cool. It was very cute. I love school dances. There’s like nothing more nostalgic than a school dance and like a wizard school dance. It was very magical. 

I love it when they include it in any series that’s like high school and they have a school dance. I’m like a sucker for it. I love it. 

Yes. Oh, yeah. I mean, maybe we should have done an episode for every single movie, but I do think that people would have gotten tired of those who aren’t interested in Harry Potter. 

I think the school dances in Goblet of Fire, the Triwizard Tournament one, which is probably my favorite of the movies. If I had to pick a favorite. 

That’s my favorite, and also the Prisoner of Azkaban is my other favorite. And the first one. 

Yeah. 

Emma: It’s hard to pick a favorite. So, if I had to, I guess I’d go with the Triwizard Tournament, the Goblet of Fire one. But I think that’s the one that has a school dance in it and it has dragons and that’s cool. And you get to see other schools, which is kind of fun and like a whole different vibe. 

Elsie: Yeah. Okay, which Harry Potter house are you, Emma? 

Emma: When I took the test, and I’ve identified this way, I’m a Raven Claw. I’m in the sorority. It seems like kind of a sorority house, doesn’t it? I don’t know. It’s not actually.

Elsie: What do you mean? It’s more girls? 

Emma: It seems like all girls in a lot of the scenes. 

Elsie: It’s all the book people. Okay, I picked House Slytherin because actually Keeley picked it for me, but ever since then I kind of do identify with it. I’m wearing my sweater. Because I like how it says you’ll do anything to achieve your end or whatever. Which I do identify with that. Not in like a malicious way, but in like a, yeah, I’ll do anything to achieve my goals. Like, you know, in life, so, and our littlest daughter identifies as Slytherin and she is like, it’s so cute. She has a Slytherin dance and it is like a snake type of thing. And she also likes to wear green and that’s pretty much everything she cares about Harry Potter because it’s not a princess thing, but it makes me so happy. It’s kind of like our thing together. Okay, so what aged well versus what did not age well in this movie, so I guess this is the part where we could acknowledge JK Rowling making lots of Twitter comments that didn’t age well and were offensive. 

Emma: I think it’s pretty obvious. 

Elsie: Yeah, it’s pretty obvious, and I think if you want to see something that makes your heart warm again, then look up Daniel Radcliffe’s statement in response. It was the warmest my heart ever felt in my life. It was very sweet, and pretty much all the actors had, you know, like very, very good responses that are like very inclusive and loving and caring and you know, trying their best. So I think it’s like unfortunate that that became a big part of like what people want to talk about with Harry Potter. Like, it’s really sad. 

Emma: Yeah. To me, it’s just a separate conversation from Harry Potter, in my opinion. There are just so many, especially the movies, but so many other people involved. 

Elsie: Yeah, there’s so many other people involved. I think that’s a good thing. Hearing all the actors give their perspectives, I think, was really Encouraging. So I think that other than that, I honestly think everything about the movies has aged so well and it’s like gorgeous, like even though slightly bad CGI is like bad in a good way, like in a Jurassic Park way, and I like it. I really enjoy watching all of the movies and I’m really looking forward to reading all the books with our kids. And I think we will probably go to Harry Potter world this summer. It feels like the phase is coming on really strong, she already asked for a birthday party. So I think we’re going to go right after that. How perfect is that? 

Emma: It is perfect. Oh, that’s so cute. Which ones have they read so far?

Elsie: We’re still in the Sorcerer’s Stone. 

Emma: Yeah. It’s pretty long for a middle-grade book, it’s shockingly long. 

Elsie: We just started right after Christmas, so it’ll be like months and months. But we do a chapter a night, so that’s pretty, it’ll go by pretty fast. Okay, let’s do trivia! 

Emma: Okay, trivia. Only actors from the UK were allowed to be cast, so every actor was either English, Scottish, or Irish.

Elsie: I love that about Harry Potter. So they did like a little reunion TV special a couple of years ago that, I think was like 20 years since the first movie. And almost all the actors were in it, and a lot of the directors and stuff, and that was like one of the things that they said was like really special and meaningful. It was like really strict. Most shows like Game of Thrones or whatever, it’s mostly British actors, but then there’s like a couple of American actors that get in there. But there are no American actors in Harry Potter, which I think is so cool. 

Emma: Yeah, it’s pretty interesting. And then it’s also like, there’s a few, like, very famous UK actors who aren’t in Harry Potter, which almost makes me feel like, how did that even happen? Because there are so many movies and so many characters, like Kate Winslet, for example. But yeah, it’s really fun. I feel like in some ways it, I guess, because they’re kids’ movies, so I was being introduced to a lot of these actors because I hadn’t seen some of their other work because I was a kid. But it introduced me to some actors that I didn’t see until then, and so I kind of think of them, you know, like Alan Rickman, I kind of think of him as Snape, like, yeah, and he’s been in so many other things, and he is an amazing actor, and he really is the perfect Snape, so, love him in this role, love him in other things too, but, yeah, I feel like it introduced me to a lot of different actors too, which was fun. But I was also a kid, so that might be part of it, too. 

Elsie: Agree, agree. The late actor Alan Rickman, who portrays the potions teacher Severus Snape, was told some special secrets ahead of time so that he could portray his character in a more nuanced and informed way. In particular, he was told about his character’s connection to Harry’s mother, Lily Potter. So that was like my favorite twist, and it’s probably everyone’s favorite twist, is like the greatest, the greatest part. And yeah, I heard that he like, argued with directors and stuff because he knew information about the endings of the books, you know, cause they were already making the movies before the books were done. So that’s like so interesting and cool. 

Emma: Yeah. I’ll also say. So I like Fantastic Beasts and where to find them, especially the first one. I like just all the creatures, but that’s what movie I would really want to see if they were going to do more Harry Potter is a young Snape when he, you know, tries with his relationship with Lily, obviously, it doesn’t work out cause she gets with Harry Potter’s dad and then he joins the Death Eaters, but then he’s recruited by Dumbledore, like, I would just like to see that whole thing. Plus, I think he’s such an interesting character who does have so much depth when you see his entire arc. And he has all these different sides to him. So I think that would be fun, I like characters who are very complicated. Love a hero. Harry Potter is awesome. But I think the complicated ones are more relatable, frankly. And I think they’re interesting. And I like to see great actors portray them. Obviously, Alice, Alan Rickman wouldn’t portray him because he’s passed on, but they could maybe use clips or different things. And then obviously it was, this would be a younger Snape. So I don’t know who would play him actually, I haven’t really thought about it. Who should be a young Snape? Maybe Adam Driver? I don’t know. 

Elsie: Adam Driver.

Emma: Depends how young, I guess, you want it to be. 

Elsie: Yeah, I mean he’s not, like, young, but he’d be pretty Maybe like too hot.

Emma: Too hot? 

Elsie: No, I don’t know. But I can see how he’d be serious and edgy enough. We’ll have to put more thought into that and maybe the British rule is off now. 

Emma: Oh no, you’re right. He’s not British. That’s not gonna work. 

Elsie: No. Yeah. But I don’t know if they’re still, I know that they’re making TV series now and I don’t think they’re doing the British rule anymore or maybe they are. I don’t know. I haven’t heard anything about that. 

Emma: I haven’t really heard about that. I’m pretty behind on stuff now. 

Elsie: Yeah. We’ll see. We’ll find out. 

Emma: The neighborhood of Privet Drive was shot in a real-life English neighborhood named Pickett Post Close as the set. This means that people in England can pay a visit to the muggle side of Harry Potter in a sense. Ooh, that’s fun. 

Elsie: It’s cute. Yeah. I saw pictures of it. It does sound annoying. I feel so sorry for anyone who lives in a home like that. It’s like a photo op. But at the same time, they probably also knew when they moved in. So maybe they embrace it. It depends on your personality. JK Rowling and Harry Potter have the same birthday, which is July 31st. I never knew that. 

Emma: She chose her birthday. Okay. The names of some of the main characters were changed from Rowling’s original names. Before she changed them, they were Hermione Puckle, Draco Spinks, Neville Puff, and Lily Moon, who ended up being Luna Lovegood. I still like Lily Moon though. 

Elsie: I like Lily Moon too. I’m glad that Neville Longbottom is one of my favorite names. I know. And so I’m so glad that she didn’t do Puff. That’s not good. 

Emma: Well, I feel like there’s lots of times they say his last name and they’re like, Longbottom! And it’s just like, I don’t know, very funny.

Elsie: Oh my gosh. Yeah, he’s amazing. If you look closely, you’ll notice the scar on Harry’s head on the book cover is different than the film on the books, the scar is in the middle of his forehead, and in the films it is off-center. 

Emma: I’d say it’s only a slight change. All right. The Dementors are based on Rowling’s experience with depression. She once described it as that cold absence of feeling, that really hollowed-out feeling. That’s what Dementors are. I feel like in the books, when you read about the Dementors, I don’t know. Even as a younger kid, by the time all these books were out, I was like in college. So it wasn’t really like a kid anymore. But I remember thinking it was depression because it just felt like this oppressive thing that you couldn’t get away from. I also sort of wondered if it was a little bit framed around periods because part of the getting better is eating chocolate afterward. 

Elsie: Oh, I haven’t heard that yet. That’s interesting.

Emma: It’s not, it’s not a real thing. It’s just something I remember thinking as I was reading the books. So I was like, oh, it’s just this thing you can’t get away from. It’s like this weird punishment, you know.

Elsie: That’s for sure. Yeah. The worst part about prisons, is the dementors, remember that Michael Scott, the dementors. Okay. I love that part of the office. The names of the plants in the wizarding world are based on real names. Rolling said that they’re from a book called Culpepper’s Complete Herbal. Which was written in the 17th century by English botanist and herbalist Nicholas Culpepper. That’s cool. That’s cool. Yeah. Actually, I just wrote a blog post for childhood magic about celestial baby names and there was a whole bunch of Harry Potter characters in there. So I think that’s cool to find out where authors got their origins from. 

Emma: Yeah. It also makes me think about like, maybe she purchased that book just to write her book, but if you ever, like, just, like, wanted to buy something like that, like a random book you saw, or, you know what I mean? You’re like, why am I even doing this? 

Elsie: That’s my whole life. 

Emma: Yeah, that’s true. You’re, you have no qualms about it, but I’m kind of like, why am I collecting all this? And then sometimes you read things like this and you’re like, oh, things can feed into other things. And it’s just cool to be interested in the world. I don’t know.

Elsie: Anyway. The magic is everywhere, Emma. Okay, Rowling spent the first five years of writing Harry Potter just setting up the rules of what characters could and couldn’t do. Okay, that is like, so long. I think I like, tried to Google how long it actually took to write the books after this and I don’t think I got like, an answer. I’m curious like, how long it took, I guess, to finish Manuscript 1 because that sounds like a really long time. 

Yeah, it does. I think she’s done interviews about it and different things. I actually listened to this podcast series. I think it was called The Witch Trials of JK Rowling. And it talked a lot about her Twitter stuff, but also kind of her history. It was really interesting. She was in this, like, abusive relationship, I believe, with her first husband. I think they might have been married, but I’m not sure. It’s who she has her first child with. And one of the things he would do was hide her manuscript. And it was the first Harry Potter that she was writing. And it was a way that he would troll her and, you know. Obviously, there were other things, that’s not the only way he would abuse her, but I thought that was very, knowing what came after in her life and what her life has been about, about writing and about the world of Harry Potter, it’s very interesting to think about someone doing that to her.

That’s very interesting. 

Could have lost it. Could’ve not had Harry Potter because of one person. 

Yeah. The Feasts of Food in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone were all real food. That’s so funny. But it wasn’t enjoyed since it spoiled quickly because of the hot lights on the set. Okay. For every blog commenter who was ever like, did you eat that whole pizza on our blog post? Look at this! There are bigger problems of food waste in the world. 

Well, I’m also like, oh, it’d be so hard to be a, a little kid actor on a set and be like, I’m around all this like smelly food, but we have to do one more take, you know?

Yeah, after I wrote this and we rewatched it, I did notice there were tons and tons of hams, you know, with the little cherries and that would be gross. It would be smelly after a while under hot lights. 

These kids must have had some good attitudes. Okay. Harry’s eyes are described as green in the books, but Radcliffe’s eyes are not green. They tried green contacts, but Radcliffe had a bad reaction, so they couldn’t use them. I’m kind of glad because he’s such a little kid. 

That’s so lucky because he would have had to wear those contacts for eight movies. Okay. So, I’m obsessed with watching Robert Pattinson’s videos where he’s trolling Twilight. Sometimes I just like get obsessed with them on TikTok or whatever. And he is always complaining about the contacts. And so I feel like it’s so lucky that he had like the bad reaction that he never had to wear them. That’s dodging such a bullet because to have to wear contacts that are hard to see and itchy and bad for you, like for whole movies, I think would be very frustrating and challenging, it sounds like.

Also, just, I’m a fan of the book, but I think it’s totally fine that a child actor did not have to wear contacts on set. Maybe let’s just, we don’t need to do that to kids, because I’m also a huge Star Trek fan, as I’ve mentioned before. And I think about it a lot with the character Data because his skin is painted and he has these weird contacts and he’s an adult. He’s not a child actor in the show, but I can’t imagine that was good for him. And I feel for the actor because I’m like, I love Sean. I love this character, but there’s a way we could have made this a little bit healthier. 

Had a long time in the makeup chair. Okay, Shirley Henderson who played 14-year-old Moaning Myrtle was 36 years old when they began filming. That’s great trivia! That’s like so cool. I would have never known either. Actually, what’s funny is Jeremy was convinced that Moaning Myrtle was really Daniel Radcliffe because she looked so much like him! And it’s like, she does though, she does look like him but she’s not, and you can tell, like, you can tell they’re two different people.

He would have to have the best impression ever, like, her voice. That’s hilarious. That’s so funny. 

It’s very funny. And she even has like the little glasses, you know? 

I mean, I see what you’re saying. I never thought that, but I see what you’re saying, but yeah, they could be brother and sister, I suppose. I don’t know. Okay. Makeup artist applied Harry’s scar over 2,000 times, and Radcliffe went through 160 pairs of glasses. 

That’s perfect. I love it. Yeah, it makes sense. Rowling said that she regrets pairing Ron and Hermione together, saying that she did it because of wish fulfillment and not because of the plot. I don’t know. I kind of get it. I kind of, like, don’t like the music as an arc. I don’t know. 

I feel like, it always felt inevitable. So I liked that sometimes it feels nice to have things paid off. But if it wasn’t her wish, then she should have done something else. 

Yeah, that’s true. If you are an author and you write the book not how you wanted, keep that to yourself. After the fact. 

Emma: Well. Because it’s Or just write it how you want. Go ahead and disappoint fans a little bit. 

Elsie: Yeah, now everyone just wants to know what you would have done, right? 

Emma: Yeah, I guess so. 

Elsie: That’s what I want to know. Okay. Oh, I guess that’s all of the trivia. Okay, so here’s my beginning. I am begging you, and I mean begging. 

Emma: She’s really begging. She means this. It’s sincere. 

Elsie: I need this so bad. Would you please leave a 5-star review on my butterbeer recipe? I’ll put it in the show notes. You can also just search A Beautiful Mess butterbeer or just go on A Beautiful Mess and search butterbeer in the tab. I have been trying to get the top Google spot, it is my dream in this lifetime to have the top Google spot for Butterbeer, and maybe it could happen. You never know, it’s spot three right now. 

Emma: It could happen, it could happen. 

Elsie: I would be very grateful for your Butterbeer reviews. And if you have children, make them the butterbeer. I do not recommend it as this whole beverage, personally, but if you love cream soda with whipped cream in it, then maybe, you know what I mean. 

Emma: We had this dinner that was like different courses paired with different beers and I was of course pregnant, so I had butterbeer and I thought it was delicious.

Elsie: Nice. It was so fun to make. It was so much fun. So. Okay, now we’ll pass it on to Nova for her segment. Hey, Nova, what do you have this week? 

Nova: A meditation. So, close your eyes, and find a comfy place wherever. Cuddle with your stuffies or even your kid. And then go to your happy place and think you’re at the beach. All warm and cozy with the sand and the waves rolling up on and feel the warm breeze going by while the seagulls are fluttering up in the air, and then go out and swim in the ocean. Pretend you have a floaty on, and you’re swimming all over. Then, you eat on the shore, and you then put on your shoes. Go back home, and take out the picture you secretly took, and keep it. And when you go on the train back to real life, think about your trip in the meditation room. And I hope someday you will come back. Thank you! 

Elsie: Thanks, Nova! Thank you so much for listening. We love how our podcast has evolved over the past five years and we’re able to do such special niche episodes. It means a lot to us that you support us even loving the movie rewatches and all of that. We feel like we found our people. So thank you for being here and we hope you have a great week.

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You can find the podcast posts archive here.

A big thank you to our sponsors! Check out the offers from LMNT, BetterHelp, Wildgrain, and Athletic Greens.

And if you’re looking for a specific code you heard on the podcast, you can see a full list on this page!

Show Notes:

Nova’s Girl Scout Cookies

How we grew our IG to over 600K:

• We posted daily for more than 10 years
• To be successful you MUST post whatever the algorithm is prioritizing
• Viral content is key to growth

Why we are taking a pause from social media influencing:

• Brands only want video now
• Not enough time to do full-time blogging and full-time influencing
• Can’t earn money on posts—only sponsorships and affiliate links

Sponsorship Pros:

• Can be lucrative
• Fun to work with brands you love
• Variety of work
• Forming relationships with great people

Sponsorship Cons:

• They can dry up due to economy or changing trends
• You have to always be evolving to keep attracting sponsors
• They are mainly asking for one thing: videos.
• They can cancel your post after you have already done ALL the work
• They can make you reshoot content for minuscule details
• Quick turnarounds

Affiliate Link Pros:

• You can promote anything you want or use
• You don’t have to have a lot of followers to earn money
• You have complete creative control over how you share links
• You can be on your own schedule

Affiliate Link Cons:

• It takes a LOT of quantity and repetition to grow an affiliate link business
• Earnings are usually not consistent
• The longevity of affiliate links isn’t good

Our advice for people who want to earn money influencing in 2024:

• Go hard with video (or whatever the next new feature/trend becomes)
• Choose wisely if you want to do high production or low production style
• Choose sustainable content you enjoy making and can do over and over
• Don’t take yourself TOO seriously

Tips for creating healthy boundaries:

• Therapy is great
• Have a plan for when you come across toxic people
• Have a support system
• Have conversations about your boundaries

Biggest advice—big sister to little sister:

• Create a backup income … build something that is TRULY yours
• Social media earnings can vary greatly from year to year. Always be planning your next move!

Voicemail question from Kate in South Florida: If we are to go with a sofa, is a velvet green sofa a solid choice?

• Velvet is washable and more forgiving but does get imperfections texture wise
• Put a dark couch in a dark room and a light couch in a light room

Miss an Episode? Get Caught Up!

• Episode #216: What’s Up with A Beautiful Mess?
• Episode #215: Winter Survival Guide
• Episode #214: New Year, New Goals

Episode 217 Transcript:

Emma: You’re listening to the Beautiful Mess Podcast, your cozy comfort listen, and this week we are sharing our experiences as social media influencers from the past 10 years. We’re sharing how we grew our Instagram, how we earned money influencing, our tips for anyone who wants to get into social media influencing, and lastly, why we are taking a little bit of a pause from it in 2024. Should be interesting, so let’s talk about it.

Elsie: Yes, should be an interesting episode, but before we get into that, Girl Scout Cookies. So, the reason we’re all still here is the real reason behind this podcast. So little Nova has been selling Girl Scout cookies, so thank you to everyone who’s ordered. I’m gonna put the link in this week’s show notes again in case you missed it. Or in case you’ve already eaten all the boxes. Just kidding. Yeah, I have to put it out there. I’m supporting my kid. You understand, right? 

Emma: I think it’s fair. I’d mentioned to someone that Nova was gonna have a link on our show notes and stuff. They’re like, oh, it’s so unfair. Like they were kidding, of course, you know. But I was like, you know, though, she has kind of built a little platform here because she’s been providing some a plus jokes, facts, and meditations for quite some time to our listeners. So I think, yeah, buy those cookies, people. 

Elsie: I think her tip jar is well-earned.

Emma: Yes, I think so too. 

Elsie: Yeah. And I have to say, she’s so proud of being a part of the podcast. And she always asks people if they hear her part. If we ever meet someone who says they listen, so it’s magical and I love it. Yeah, it’s awesome. Okay, so in this episode, we’re going to cover how we grew our Instagram to over 600k followers, why we’re taking a social media pause, and why we’re posting less than we used to this year. And the pros and cons of social media sponsorships and affiliate links. We’ll share all kinds of everything we know about that and our advice for people who want to earn money influencing in 2024. Like I’m going to share the advice of how I would say it. If my own kid wanted to be an influencer. In this current era, yeah, social media, as you probably know, isn’t our biggest passion, but it’s something that we fell into. It became a successful part of our career for more than 10 years. We were early adopters of Instagram. We posted there daily for more than 10 years. Let’s start with like what we learned, and how we grew our Instagram to over 600K followers. So we posted daily for more than 10 years. The most important key element is to post whatever the algorithm is prioritizing at that time. So in the very beginning, I don’t know if there like wasn’t an algorithm or if it was just like you couldn’t see it and feel it as much. In the beginning, it was a chronological feed, and so at that point, the main driver is quantity. So you want to post like every hour, as much as you can to always be at the top of, you know, people’s scroll. So posting a lot was the thing, and you know, that has changed. And now currently on Instagram, viral videos are, are the whole, like, universe of that app and you can grow. Last year I had a viral video that grew more than 100, 000 followers from one video and that does happen. It’s so worth it. If your main goal is trying to grow on Instagram, then posting lots of videos that have a chance to be viral, so, you know, like, go with a certain format. 

Emma: Yeah, I’d also say, like, if you don’t know what the algorithm’s favoring, you can often, like, kind of pick it up just from what it’s serving you. But also go on the Discover page, and there are certain boxes on the Discover page that are bigger than others. Those are getting more emphasis they’re almost always videos. So, you know that the algorithm is favoring videos, you know. Also, follow people who seem to be growing and see what they’re doing obviously don’t copy their exact content but if you notice that they’re doing a lot of stories and just want you to know whatever you can kind of look at strategies in that way.

Elsie: Yeah I mean, obviously you never want to copy someone’s exact content, but you can easily copy the formula that people use for making good videos, and I think you should, if your goal is to grow, then I think you should get your Information from people who are doing just that. Yeah, I think I took a little course, actually, about how to make a viral video. And I had a viral video, like, in a couple of weeks. And it was basically like, give the beginning a hook, where you see what you’re about to see more of, and make all of your cuts way shorter and it worked, you know, so I think that making video content is an amazing opportunity if you love it and you’re good at it, and it’s something you’re interested in, then it’s your moment for sure. And yeah, of course, the same with TikTok. I also got all this, all the followers I have on TikTok from one or two videos. It was a very interesting experiment for me. I’m glad that I experienced it. It’s not something that I, at this point in planning to put a lot more energy and focus into, but it’s fun and I get it. If you’re a person who’s just like attracted to the idea of making videos, then finding ways to make, you know, a lot of videos at once, make your workflow faster, find content that, you know, is like easy and simple and sustainable for you to make. I think those are all things to think about for sure.

Emma: Yeah. And I mean, I also think like, we’re gonna talk about monetizing mostly from sponsorships and affiliate links as those are the two main ways, but I also think like social media is a really cool place to market whatever it is you do as a creative person, as a small business owner, it really is a cool opportunity that didn’t exist before social media was really a thing. So I put that on the list of pros. So if you are a writer who wants to promote their books, like me. Great place to be doing it. If you have, you know, a ceramics business and you want to be selling more ceramics in your Etsy shop, this is a place where you can kind of work on that. I don’t know if you need to be as worried about growing, growing, growing if you’re not going to be getting sponsorships or utilizing affiliate links. But I do think it’s a cool place to be marketing and it’s worth some effort.

Elsie: I completely agree. If you’re like an author or an artist, for example, don’t worry about how many followers you have. Just worry about like, making videos that have reach, where you’re reaching new people. I’ve bought so many books from scrolling TikTok. BookTok is one of my favorite things about TikTok that like, keeps me on there. It’s just better than Instagram. And it’s, like, really entertaining, the videos that people make as authors and as readers. 

Emma: Some of my favorite Etsy shops I found on Instagram. I saw them making this stained glass thing, and then I bought one, and, you know. So it’s a really cool place for that. But I wouldn’t worry so much about big numbers unless you’re gonna be going after sponsorships. Just take that pressure off your plate if you’re just using it to market. whatever work it is that you do. 

Elsie: I completely agree. Kind of the only reason I can think of why it matters to have a lot of followers is to gain sponsorships. And if you’re not doing that, then just like, try not to care because it’s not going to matter. So this is actually like an outline point, mini-rant, Elsie wants to defend influencers. So this is like one of my things, it’s one of my hills to die on. And one of the reasons why I’m like cautious, I haven’t even wanted to say. Like we’re not doing social media as much anymore or where it’s not a big deal to us because I feel like if I say that I’m going to get so many messages affirming that social media is not good and like I’m glad you’re not going to be an influencer anymore because I don’t like them. Yeah. Like just this kind of hateful vibe and also the way that influencers are portrayed in books. And movies, but mostly books are alarming. 

Emma: Not my book.

Elsie: Not in Emma’s book. I will say Emma’s book, I feel like you portrayed them as normal and almost boring, which I find to be very true. 

Emma: Thank you.

Elsie: And yeah, like, you know, they’re just like, they’re chill. They’re just people they’re doing a job. And the way that a lot of authors portray influencers is like I noticed that they have to give them some other thing as proof that they’re a good person, which kind of pisses me off. That sucks. It sucks that influencers are like, you know, it’s like you immediately think of someone who’s like a vain selfie person or something like that. Like it’s in somehow less of a noble profession than, you know, other more real professions. And it’s something that women, and definitely influencers and bloggers have to deal with at all times is, you know, these kind of like really ignorant stereotypes. 

Emma: Yeah, it’s ignorant. I also would just say it’s kind of lazy. It’s just like a silly joke. We’d like to not think about it. So like, oh, those people just take selfies wherever they go. They’re just vain, just lazy. Just like, you know, I think the number one joke for food bloggers is like, they write two paragraphs at the beginning about their trip to Italy or something, you know, and it’s like, it’s fine. It’s a funny joke, but it’s actually quite lazy. It’s like, oh, you don’t understand what this industry is. Like any time I’m like, oh, you don’t understand what we’re really doing. That’s fine. It doesn’t really matter. But influencers are actually like Elsie just said, I think, really rad, but also pretty normal and boring. There are people who are just, frankly, entertaining you for hours every single week.

Elsie: I want to defend them. Obviously, some of my closest friends are influencers. We’ve been influencers ourselves for more than 10 years. Not always, like, proudly carrying the flag of the word influencer. It’s kind of, you know, I get it, it’s kind of awkward, but like I don’t know. I just, want people to know if you haven’t met someone or known someone personally in real life, that it is a very competitive, hardworking field of work. There’s so much that you have to do for free. 

Emma: You will be verbally abused more than any server I’ve ever met. 

Elsie: Yeah. The verbal abuse rating is very high, and the amount that people expect from you for free or just like feel entitled to know about your life and your children and just like everything.

Emma: The boundaries are odd.

Elsie: The boundaries are rough. 

Emma: Yeah, well, I think too, like, influencers are individuals. Some of them are wonderful, good people. You won’t meet a nicer person, and there are probably some total asses on there too. I don’t know. I mean, they’re all individuals. 

Elsie: I’ve never had that experience. 

Emma: I haven’t really either, to be honest. 

Elsie: I’ve met hundreds of influencers in my life, probably thousands. People are nice. Yeah. 

Emma: I’ll tell you what I can’t defend as easily though, the social media platforms themselves. I’m not the biggest fan and I do have a few bones to pick with that, but that’s probably a different episode. But that I think is a little more like, maybe there should be a little more rules and regulations around. I think they’re coming because I feel like there’s even a lawsuit right now with MEDA that’s kind of about their younger users and some things they’ve done to not protect them specifically around like young girls and body image and things of that nature. I also think some of the algorithms are geared, especially towards younger women, but generally are maybe just like, maybe they don’t need to be that addictive. Maybe they don’t need to suck us in that way and make us feel so anxious all the time. You know, maybe there’s something a little bit broken there. I think most parents think about this a lot as their kids get to an age where they’re like, should I let them have social media? You’re thinking about its role in your life and whether has it been positive. And it’s, you know, a tricky thing. Cause like I said earlier, I think it’s a great opportunity for small business owners, and creatives to have a way to market themselves that they didn’t have before. I also think there are some drawbacks to it that I kind of wish the companies, the big companies making all of the money would put a little more thought into for the public. I think that there could be a little more there and I’d like to see that in the future personally.

Elsie: Yeah. I think that’s what law laws are for regulation, I think is definitely coming in that space. And I think the majority of people see a big need for that. 

Emma: Yeah. And then I also think it’s kind of a little messed up that they don’t really allow their content creators to make money unless they do it on the side through sponsorships and affiliate links. And, you know, I’ll just point out, so, you know, we have a newsletter for Beautiful Mess. If Elsie and I write a newsletter and send it out to our list, it will go to the entire list. And some people might not read it or they might decide to unsubscribe. That’s up to them. But it goes to the entire list. Or, you know, the email company that we use, we use Flowdesk. There are other ones, MailChimp, MyEmma, whatever. They don’t decide just to send it to a small fraction of the list that we’ve created. It goes to the whole thing. On our Instagram account, they decide who gets to see the content that we put out. We don’t get to decide that at all. And if we don’t play by their rules and do the things that they want us to do, the addictive things that their algorithm likes, people won’t see our content. And I think that’s a little messed up for content creators, so I’m not a big fan of it. I think there could be a more happy medium somewhere 

Elsie: Yeah, you have to go with the rules that they make and I think you have to be able to accept that. We all know there’s nothing more annoying than hearing an influencer complain about Algorithms, you know, and it’s like, yeah, we all frequently do that because we just do. But yeah, it’s like a lazy river, it’s like you have to swim in the right direction at all times or you’re fucked. Okay. I mean, you could outs swim it, but you would get tired. Okay. So now let’s talk about, like, why we’re taking a little more of a pause from social media influencing. So we’re definitely not quitting Instagram. Let me just make that clear. It’s not gonna be thriving because we’re not gonna post, like, videos as much right now, and I think that the only way to be thriving right now is posting a lot of videos, but yeah, I think that we can show up a little bit more if you want to be like in our inner circle, though, the place to do that is our podcast. The next place after that is our blog, and the next place after that is our newsletter, and the farthest possibility is social media because it’s just not what we’re into. So let’s talk about why. First of all, our journey with sponsorships. So for a lot of years, we did Blog posts and social media sponsorships. 

Emma: At first it was kind of an add-on. 

Elsie: Yeah, at first it was like a blog post and then you mention it in your Instagram. So it was like you just take one of the pictures and you write a caption and that was all that it really was. And then it became, sometimes people would ask for just the Instagrams. Then more recently, most people started asking only for Instagram. That was kind of a sad time for us because we love blogging and we’re really good at it. For a lot of products, writing a long blog post would benefit them much more than one Instagram for one day would.

Emma: As far as our skillset, and like what we’re good at. 

Elsie: And, you know, some people still did it, but it just became like the trend, you know, whatever agencies are asking for is what brands are getting. And they just started asking only for social media videos. And then in the more recent years, it became just videos. They only wanted reels, and at that point, that was definitely where we were hitting our burnout wall, because it’s a lot of pressure to make sponsored reels that do well with, you know, the considerations of like the algorithm, the length, the showing the products, making it like a natural. Also, the video was never our main talent or our top talent.

Emma: I’m more of a photographer or videographer.

Elsie: Yeah, like we enjoy it, but we’re not like excellent at it like the way some people are. So I think that that is definitely one of the reasons why we started to get fewer sponsors, we just know that in 2022, we got, like, probably half of the offers that we got in 2021. And then in 2023, it got even worse. Then by the end of 2023, we got some pretty good offers during the holidays. And we just said no to them because we weren’t in the headspace anymore. And we were like, actually, we’re good with like kind of phasing this out. And now it’s not that we wouldn’t take a sponsor, but we probably wouldn’t take a sponsor. 

Emma: Well, and you know, q4 is a lot of when some bigger ones come because they’re using the end of the year budget and there’s holiday time so there’s more marketing budget anyway. And for us, we just do have less time school starts to close, you know, there’s holiday stuff to do with kids and that’s a priority for us as we’ve mentioned before. So it just makes it that if you need to be a workaholic in December, it just doesn’t fit your life anymore. 

Elsie: Yeah, like, I loved this December. We stopped working, I don’t know, around, like, the 15th to the 20th, somewhere in that zone, and we didn’t work again until the new year, and, I mean, I did, I worked, like, probably for, like, 20 minutes a day. That’s nothing compared to working full-time. And it was great, I mean, We scheduled posts ahead, so we still had stuff going up, but, yeah, having that kind of flexibility is something that a full-time social media creator isn’t going to have in December. So, that was immense, like, that’s a huge upgrade to our lifestyle at this point. So, yeah, we’ll talk more about the pros and cons. Okay. So, video content, yeah, that’s one of the reasons why I like doing it. I guess what I want to explain to people Is that if you think about like all your favorite social media influencers, like think about like three, okay? Just like give yourself a minute to think of three people who you love following on social media, and it’s very likely that none of them will have websites that they update every day. Social media influencing is its own career and blogging is its own separate career and there are very very few people who do both full-time. We were doing that for a long time more than 10 years but the reason we were able to do that is because we had a team and we had a lot of support. So it’s not something that I think we ever would or could or would want to try to do alone. So, yeah, when we had a chance to do just blogging, we kind of jumped for that because it’s more sustainable. We talked about that in the last episode. And it’s just more what we enjoy. Social media is more of a hamster wheel, I can’t say the word hamster wheel enough when I talk about social media.

Emma: We always call it that behind the scenes, we’re always like, we gotta get off this hamster wheel. 

Elsie: It really is. It’s like you have to run so fast to keep your wheel spinning, you know, just to keep the money coming in and, you know, keep the content going out. And, you know, you’re going to be doing all of that with a ton of verbal abuse coming into your DMs, people questioning, like, you know, your ethics and, like, your moral fiber as a human and things like that.

Emma: And why you’re not writing about current events when you’re not a journalist and maybe haven’t even heard about it yet because you’re just doing your job and taking your kids to school. You’re like, I don’t know. So, there’s all those things too. So when we say hamster wheel, maybe we should explain that a little more and like passive income because I think to us, it’s obvious, and probably most listeners it is. So when I think about passive income, what I mean is I make some piece of work and then I make income off of it for a long period of time, maybe not forever. So the time that I, you know, spend is not connected to my work. So when I work for someone, if I am an employee somewhere, my time and my payment are kind of connected, right? So I have to show up to work to get paid. Hopefully, you have a good employer who gives you sick days and things of that nature. But generally, if you don’t show up if you don’t put your time in, you don’t get paid. That’s how it works. So passive income is the opposite of that. You create something and then you try to make money off of it for a long time. So people do this in all sorts of different ways. The main way the investment world that people talk about is like owning properties and being a landlord. I think you can also do it with digital products or other types of products that you can sell over and over again. For us, blogging is becoming more and more of a passive income because we try to write blog posts that are going to be at the top of the search for a long time and are going to be useful to people for a long time. So we will be able to make money from our CPM-based ads on those pages for years into the future, potentially. And it’s not totally passive. We have to keep our site updated. We have to make sure that our site has good hosting doesn’t go down or is still very usable. You know, if we didn’t touch it for five years, like literally at all, that probably wouldn’t be good. I doubt the health of our site would be good, but if we’re able to do a lot of the work, you know, upfront and then just kind of maintain it, then it becomes passive income. Social media doesn’t really give you the same opportunities for that right now. Maybe this will change in the future, I don’t know. But at the moment, sponsorships and affiliate links are your main ways to make money, and that kind of more or less expire slash is tied to your time. So if I make a really cool sponsored post, let’s say it’s a reel, I get paid whatever I was contracted you know, we’ve agreed to a price, they pay me. My reel goes up. That’s that. Now, if I want to make more money, I need to go find a new sponsor or make another piece of content for that sponsor or whatever else. I’m not going to make more money in the future off of that reel. It’s a done deal. Even if it goes viral, it’s not necessarily going to make me more money just instantly because it doesn’t have ads on the page. There’s no way that social media lets you do that. That’s just not an option right now. Affiliate links are kind of the same way. If I put those in a post on my grid, or if I put them in my stories, stories especially, it will expire. Even grid posts, even if they go viral, over time, they’re just not something people click on or click through. So those affiliate links aren’t going to keep earning me money necessarily. 

Elsie: No, I’ve had lots of times when I stopped posting affiliate links and it goes down so tiny to like basically nothing when you’re not posting them regularly every day. Okay. So I put down some pros and cons. So we’ll do sponsorships and then we’ll do affiliate links because yeah, I think just like explaining what it’s like to do the job would help inform people who are, like, thinking about it, or, you know, you know someone who’s trying to get into it. And a lot of times you don’t know the pros and cons until you’re, like, doing it, which is unfortunate. Okay, so sponsorship pros. It can be very lucrative. There have been times when our sponsorships made more than any other part of our business, and they can be a big one. It can be really fun to work with brands you love. Some of the proudest times in my early blogging career were getting sponsorships for brands that were cool to work with.

Emma: Yeah. That you idolize. That’s like fun. 

Elsie: Yeah. You get to do a huge variety of work. So we’ve done social media posts, of course, and blog posts, but we’ve also done paid events. We’ve done this thing called SMTs, which is like a satellite media tour, where you like, you be on the news. We did one, like holding Kahlua bottles and stuff, and we did like seven or 10 news interviews in a row across the country. Sometimes people would just pay us to do like a Pinterest pin. There’s just a huge variety of ways people can sponsor you. Or are there any more pros you want to add? 

Emma: I think it can be fun to like work with, like we’ve had some relationships that developed over the years that were really positive, like just really nice people either at the company or at the agency that worked with the company. So that can be a pro too. You can find just really nice people that you end up working with. 

Elsie: Sponsorship cons. So they can dry up instantly due to economic changes. It happened during the pandemic. There are even seasonal budget changes where this time of year people won’t get as many sponsorships, and if you have major expenses, you can be in a bad position if that’s your main income. You always have to keep evolving to keep attracting sponsors, so it’s fun to evolve when it’s your choice and when you want to, but when you find something that you’re good at, that you enjoy doing, and then it just no longer works, that’s frustrating. And when you feel the pressure to do things that you wouldn’t ever choose just to keep attracting sponsors, that is challenging. And then, for us, a lot of it was videos in recent years, the main thing sponsors ask for is videos. And we just found them not as fun, easy, or enjoyable to work on as blog posts and photo content in the past. And then, this is something that I think a lot of people don’t know, that I want people to know, especially if you’re just getting into it. But brands can cancel your post after you’ve already done all the work. And that does happen kind of frequently. 

Emma: And you can have a contract, but you know, at the end of the day, if someone breaches a contract, your options are to sue them, which costs money, or I don’t know, post about it online. But I think that’s risky for a whole bunch of different reasons.

Elsie: Yeah. And a lot of times your post will fall through, this is very common when you’ve already put in half of the work. So just to even secure a post and start a contract, you usually have to present a full concept. And sometimes, you know, you put a lot of work into that. And then, you know, they cancel the post after that, or they say maybe, and then it turns into a no. So I think it’s important to know that there’s a lot of extra work, like, for every sponsored post that goes up. There are many more that fell through, where you kinda halfway started it and then didn’t get to complete it. Also, brands can ask you to reshoot your content for minuscule details, like minuscule details.

Emma: Yeah, things that matter to them, like, you know, showing the brand label more or something of that nature. 

Elsie: Yeah. Like, I’ve heard of people having to reshoot off of, like, having the wrong color of nails, or they didn’t like the outfit they were wearing, or things like that, and it’s kind of just like an opinion against an opinion, and ultimately, since they’re the one holding the carrot, you have to do, you know.

Emma: Carrot it is the paycheck.

Elsie: Yeah. So that’s definitely a con reshooting is very common. And for me, it was like always very frustrating when I felt like I had already completed something and checked it off my list and then came to find out there’s like one way you said a word that they didn’t like or something like that. And you have to do the whole thing again. It will melt your brain. 

Emma: One other con I’ll say is that, and this isn’t always, but often they’re kind of quick turnarounds because they will have, you know, some kind of campaign they’re running, or maybe they’re having a sale on their site or something of that nature. It’s timely. You know, they’re doing their spring content and they might be mailing you a product that’s going to be featured in your sponsored content. And so it takes time. It comes in the mail. And then you have to shoot it and then you have to get approvals and that takes time. You can’t just, you know, maybe they’ll approve it in an hour, but probably not, there are humans too who have work hours. So then there’s that. And then if there are any changes, so on and so forth. So it just makes it where you kind of have to be a little bit on call as you’re doing a sponsored piece. And that was a lot easier before I had kids because now my schedule is a lot more dependent on, you know, if someone has a sick day or if daycare is closed or something like that, then I just can’t really work or I have to tell my partner he can’t work so that I can get my thing done, which is, you know, something you do. But it’s just, you know, a thing that’s a little bit, it’s less flexible. Life is a little less flexible as you do sponsored content that has quick turns. And they tend to, and it makes sense why they do, they’re not being mean, it’s just how it works, you know. 

Elsie: Like imagine that you are about to go on vacation, so you complete all of your work, turn it in, and then while you’re at the airport, you get an email that asks you to do something else that you can’t do anymore, like that’s the type of frustrating thing that happens pretty often in that type of work. And then it’s like, you can try to negotiate. You can try to stand up for yourself and it sometimes works and it sometimes doesn’t. 

Emma: Or you could try to move the date. But if they’re having a sale or they’re, you know, if it’s something timely for them, it may not work. So yeah, it’s just tricky. 

Elsie: Okay. So let’s talk a little bit about affiliate links. The biggest platform is called LTK in the past it was called reward style, but now it’s, I think it’s officially only called LTK. Also, the Amazon affiliate program is a very big program as well. So those are the main two programs that we have done and been involved with. So that’s just the main ones that we’ll talk about cause there’s probably a hundred more. We just don’t have experience with them. So affiliate link pros. Well, okay first I should say, that there are people who make a top-level full-time income from affiliate links. It can be very lucrative, but I think it’s kind of like sponsorships. You have to do a huge amount of buildup before you get to that point where you can earn that like a doctor’s salary. So you do have to put in usually a year or years of work. Either way, to be able to build up to this point.

Emma: It’s a skill too, because essentially what you’re doing is selling, right? You’re recommending products that you like and you’re selling it to your audience. So one, you’ve built an audience, two, you’ve built trust with them, and three, you’re good at selling. And not everyone’s naturally good at selling. And you’re also selling on platforms where you’re making like videos of the things or you know. There are just a lot of skills involved that I think people don’t know. 

Elsie: The more comfortable you are with selling, the more successful you’ll probably be with affiliate links. 

Emma: Which is why I’m doing so good selling Nova’s Girl Scout cookies because I really believe in it. 

Elsie: Yes! Okay, affiliate link pros and this is sort of like comparing it to sponsorships a little bit. The first pro is I love that you can promote anything you want to, anything you choose. So the cool thing about it is, like, when you work in sponsorships, you can spend a lot of time trying to wait for a dream sponsor, trying to attract a dream sponsor, you’re posting about them, like, hoping they’ll notice you, things like that. But with affiliate links, even with a small following, you can go ahead and just start selling whatever thing is, you love this certain type of pan or this certain type of curling iron or whatever. You can just start selling it and making money, you know, no matter how many followers you have. Yeah. That’s a big opportunity there and with viral videos, it works great because it doesn’t matter how many followers you have anymore. It just matters if you can get your videos viral. 

Emma: And I think to show the product in like a light where people are going to find it desirable. So showing how great the curling iron is, or I watch a lot of content about organizing and I’m like, Oh, this thing that goes under the sink that holds all the, you know, I’m like, I see you’re showing me exactly why I want this. And you know, Yep. So it’s like you’re doing a great job selling it to me. So you’d be good at that. 

Elsie: Totally. Yeah. So you can earn money with fewer followers. Another thing that’s cool about affiliate links is you have complete creative control over how you share your links. If you work with the brand, they’ll probably send you a brief. They’ll ask you to, like, do, like, a spring theme or do a Christmas theme or whatever their whole thing is at that moment. They’ll ask you to follow certain specifications, and if you do affiliate links, you can do it however you want, which is easier because a lot of times however you want is just what you’re already doing at your home. So it just like takes out a lot of steps of having to like fit certain, like when you watch sponsored posts you probably don’t know, but people are checking a lot of boxes even of what words to use. What colors they’re allowed to wear? 

Emma: The length of the video. 

Elsie: Yes. What type of music, and when you do affiliate links, you can choose all of that stuff or just like kind of not care and do whatever you already have going on, which I like. And then another thing I like about it is that it can be on your own schedule. So if it’s January when you have the most time, that’s not a time of year when a lot of sponsors are reaching out. You could have, you know, January be your biggest month of the year that you make affiliate content. And it wouldn’t matter, you know, and you can also make content ahead for other parts of the year without having to worry about if it’s going to be accepted or not because you’re the only one approving it. So, it’s just a little more, like, flexible and efficient. And I will say that LTK Is a huge opportunity. There are lots of people who make more than a million dollars a year on LTK, but I don’t think it’s like easy by any stretch of the imagination. I think it’s really, really hard. 

Emma: We don’t make a million dollars a year.

Elsie: No, it’s not. It’s not us. It’s not us. Yeah. It’s possible though. Okay. So affiliate link cons. So here’s what we think is bad about affiliate links. Yeah. It takes a lot of quality and repetition to grow your business at all. So the commissions, you’ll get commissions for everything you sell, but they are tiny and it takes a long time for them to build up. So when you first start, you might have a week where you earn like 27 dollars and that would be like a big week for you of working a lot. And that sucks. Like, that’s a con for sure. And you know, you’re doing it in the hopes that by You know, you’re following a model that could be more lucrative in the future, but there’s not a guarantee of that. And you have to put in a lot of work for free. Another thing that’s con is that the earnings are not consistent. So you don’t have control. There are a lot of brands on LTK where the commissions go up and down. So you might be doing so well, like sharing the clothes you bought from Madewell, but then they might turn their commission down to a lower level when they have a big sale, which also happens to be when you sell the most stuff because it’s easier to sell during a big sale, and that’s something to keep in mind is that you know, it’s highly inconsistent, and it’s really like a quantity strategy. You just have to be putting out huge quantities of affiliate links to earn larger quantities of money. The other thing is you have to be comfortable selling online and have a knack for it. There are people on TikTok who you can tell this, like their whole thing all day, every day, they’re like selling vacuums and little cleaners and little, you know, those little scrub brushes that have a long neck for some reason, like things like that, you know, and they just make tons and tons of videos, post the same videos over and over. And it’s working for them. So I think that it’s something that would have to be something that you had time set aside for and space in your life to be like always analyzing and kind of keeping up with those strategies. 

Emma: Yeah. I think kind of like our blog, how we have our own little strategy with it, and people from the outside looking in, we talked about this in the last episode, might not get it. I think it’s similar sometimes with an affiliate you might look at someone if you follow them very consistently You might be like this is so repetitious but if you’re like a casual follower, it probably doesn’t feel that way and you’re probably more likely to buy to be honest because I buy stuff from people’s affiliate links all the time, and it’s usually very random It’s just like, I’m like, Oh yeah, I do need that, click. 

Elsie: I mean, I always buy things from links. If I’m like gonna check out, I think it’s like a nice thing to do ’cause they’re working really, really hard for the money. It’s not an easy job. I don’t know if I could say which one I think is harder. They’re both hard. We definitely made more money from sponsorships through the years. If you just want like our transparent disclosure. So this is the advice I would tell my own kids. If they want to become an influencer in 2024 when they’re too young and they’re not even on social media, don’t worry, they’re not saying they want to do anything like that. 

Emma: No, no one’s working on her, her Girl Scout cookie goal.

Elsie: They want to be like an artist and a princess. But just in theory, if someone who was close to me asked me like, do you honestly think I should do it? And I thought they had a knack for it. You know, I would be encouraging in some ways. Like, I think that Influencing has evolved a lot first through the years. There are things that we never even thought would be an opportunity that turned into a huge opportunity later on. And a lot of times our work snowballed into other projects and there was, you know, and it was exciting and it was fun. It was creative and I have no regrets about what we did with our career in our twenties and thirties, but I would give them the warning that this is work that does not have good longevity. It’s not passive income. There’s nothing about influencing that I would call passive income. It’s like exhausting work that you have to keep working hard forever to keep earning money. 

Emma: You do get to be your own boss in a lot of ways. Yeah. So like, that’s cool. But no, it’s not passive. 

Elsie: In theory, if you were successful, you could hire an assistant or a team to make it more passive for you, but it’s always going to be something that someone has to keep some wheels turning to keep earning money. So yeah, that’s the thing that I think is just the biggest downside of social media influencer work, and then obviously, like, just the lack of respect and human decency that you receive is pretty rough.

Emma: That’s the main thing I would say, is like, I think certain personality types can be online more than others, and I don’t mean that as any kind of diss to any particular personality type. I just think the internet can be a little bit of a harsh place. And so for some people, I don’t think it’s a healthy place for them to be all the time and you kind of have to be online a lot if you want to make money online, you need to understand what’s going on on social media, what the algorithm wants and like keeping up with, if you’re doing affiliate links, all the sales and different things that the companies that you love are doing sponsorships, you need to understand like what content is going to do well with your audience and how it’s going to fit with your sponsors and so on and so forth. So you’re just gonna have to be online a lot. And if you don’t want to be on social media all the time, then this is not going to be a good job for you. It’s going to make you feel sad and anxious. But I think some people are totally fine with it. They’re able to have, like, these really cool boundaries with it and just, you know, like, This is my job, I do it and I get off. And people say what they want to say and I don’t really care. And it’s like, that’s cool if you got that going, then you’re good, you’re golden. 

Elsie: I think that you just need to proceed with the caution and the warning that someone told you this is not an easy job. Like, I just don’t like that it’s portrayed as an easy job, because it’s just kind of not. Maybe if you were like a celebrity, or so like, okay, imagine if you’re like a B list celebrity who already has a couple million followers or like 10 million followers. For them, I think, an influencer side job is kind of a no-brainer because they already have an agent. They don’t have to build a following. I think that for them, it could be maybe somewhat of an easy lucrative job. And I see why a lot of them do it, I totally get it. I think that that’s also part of why we don’t have as many sponsors as we used to because a lot of B-list celebrities sort of like took over influencing, which is good for them. I genuinely am so happy for them. But for people who have to start from scratch, it’s a lot of work, like most people, it takes years to build a following, and the number that’s considered a strong following goes up every single year. So it can be like a carrot that you’re chasing forever. 

Emma: Yeah, it can be.

Elsie: So let’s go on to the positives. So this is the advice that I would give to people if you want to earn money influencing in 2024, either you’re already doing it and you want to do a little more or you want to start, here’s our advice. The first thing is to go really hard with video or whatever new feature becomes the next trend after that, but right now it’s definitely video. I think if you want to grow a bigger following, you kind of have to post videos regularly and whatever frequency that you’re able to and get into a point where you enjoy it or it’s fun for you where you know, it doesn’t feel like you’re just checking boxes. It feels like you’re building something that you enjoy.

Emma: Yeah, you gotta find your way with it. 

Elsie: The next thing I would do is choose very wisely if you want to do a high production style or a low production style. When I watch on Tiktok, the people who do the videos where they’re talking and putting on makeup, It looks kind of easier than a lot of the videos we’ve done where, you know, you’re like painting a whole room or something on camera. Like, choose very wisely which one you think you would be able to do regularly over and over again. You know what I mean? When you’re establishing your thing, I think it’s good to choose something that you could do with very high frequency. 

Emma: Yeah. And I’ll say that is kind of hard because I never would have guessed that in 2008, or 2009 when I started my first food blog, I still right now in 2024 would love food blogging. Like honestly, that’s just lucky. Yeah. So, you know, do your best with it, but it’s kind of hard to predict the future. Sometimes our interests change. We’re all just humans, and so you kind of have to let yourself do that. 

Elsie: I agree, and I will say I’ve known lots of people who completely changed course. My biggest advice, this is like big sister to little sister, the most important takeaway of this episode, so please listen. I beg of you. If you are someone who works in social media, create a backup income, and build something that is truly yours. Social media earnings can vary greatly from year to year. You know, we don’t know what’s gonna happen with the economy. With, you know, our own reputation or other things, like there’s lots of things that could happen in the future that might not be great for your influencer business. I will say our social media was the main leverage that we had to launch seven successful apps throughout the 30s, which was its own hard business with its own journey, but I’m so glad that we built other incomes on the side, you know, and we didn’t solely rely on sponsorships as our main income. 

Emma: Yeah. And just generally, if you’re in an era where things are going well for you financially, then like learn about personal finance. If that hasn’t been a part of your background, maybe you already learned all that. Maybe your parents taught you, maybe whatever. Awesome. You’re good. If not, get some books about it. Check out Ramit. He does, I will teach you to be rich. There are all sorts of other resources to basically invest your money and find ways to make your money work for you because there could come a day when your business dries up or changes in drastic ways or your priorities change as a human and you’re going to want to make sure that you invested your money wisely along the way.

Elsie: Yeah, we would have been so screwed when our sponsorships dried up, if that were our main and only income. So, before we wrap up our social media advice, we thought we would just share some tips for creating healthy boundaries because a lot of being successful at social media is having the longevity and mental health to sustain whatever may come your way. So, tell us some of your tips Em. 

Emma: Well, therapy’s great, so I highly recommend that. So just for the record, any work environment can be kind of toxic. It’s not that we think social media is the only one. I’ve had friends who had really terrible workplaces, terrible bosses, who were verbally abusive to them and things like that. I just think you kind of have to know social media. That will for sure happen. Just prepare yourself with a plan for how you’re going to handle it when it does. And it can happen in other places too. So that advice is for anyone really. So yeah, therapy is really good. I think too, like finding yourself resources, if you tend to be a little bit of a people pleaser, which I think almost everyone is to some extent, some more than others. Kind of have to find some books, resources, friends, and loved ones that you can talk to, and set yourself up a support system because the more successful you are on social media, the more you will have people who dislike you, who dislike the content you make or attack you personally, or, you know, think that you’re a bad person or, you know, you’ll run the gamut of things they’ll say to you the more successful you are. So you’ve got to have some boundaries in place for how you’re going to handle that, how you’re going to let it make you feel if you’re going to let yourself have breaks, things of that nature. And then, I think too, when you’re doing sponsorships, setting healthy boundaries out of the gate as you work with people, whether it’s an employee or whether it’s a sponsor. So things like contracts can be very helpful. But I also think just having conversations around how many times you will reshoot something, what happens if, you know, this or that scenario might come up never hurts to ask questions. It’s not awkward. It’s okay to say, what should I do if you don’t pay me after 90 days? What recourse will I have? See what they say. There are all sorts of different areas that I think we have to protect ourselves and have boundaries. 

Elsie: Yeah, we hope this episode was helpful. So we have a voicemail question, so let’s go ahead and play that. 

Voicemail: Hey Elsie, hey Emma, this is Kate from South Florida. We are moving back up to being your family, in the Tampa Bay area, and we have bought an ironically like a pseudo-historical home alone house. Complete with like the 3rd floor up to the attic finish situation. My question, however, is we have always gone with a more traditional, very, very washable sofa situation, and this house screams historical colors like greens and I mean, I think really browns and rich woods. We have solid oak throughout the house. So my question is this if we are to go with a sofa and we have never gone with color is a velvet green sofa. A solid choice and is it technically kind of neutral because I think it could be and then I guess really the livability. We have a large doodle and a 4-year-old. Yeah, you have a lot of experience with colored sofas and velvet. So please give me your heads up as to what you guys think.

Elsie: Hi, Kate. Thank you so much for this question. This is really fun. Your house sounds amazing, by the way. I’m excited to see it. Send us a picture. So if you haven’t already ordered, I’ll tell you what I think are the pros and cons of a velvet couch. So my personal favorite pet-friendly couch is leather. I love leather couches, but I know that maybe you’re vegan, or maybe you just like don’t like the look of leather. I think that velvet is great. I think that it’s washable. It’s pretty forgiving. It’s more forgiving than linen or something like that. But it does get imperfections, texture imperfections, and then sagginess, I would say is like the main thing that a velvet couch can get, which I think if you’re a pillow person can be okay. My opinion of how it looks best is like a dark couch in a dark room, a light couch in a light room so that it blends. I think when you put it on high contrast, then you’ll see those imperfections more. 

Emma: I would agree. I also would, I’m sure you already feel this way, Kate, but you know, with dogs, with kids, life, you know, it’s just going to mess up your stuff. It’s part of it. So embrace the pillows and the throw blankets and, you know, buy, the cleaner. What’s the one, Folex? I feel like that one’s really good with dogs. Not hair, but like other, other messes. And personally, I think a green velvet couch sounds awesome, so I’m into it. 

Elsie: Yeah, I had one at an Airbnb. I never had one in my home, I don’t think. Yeah, I think they’re pretty. 

Emma: Airbnb, that tells that it probably holds up pretty well. 

Elsie: I say go for it. All right! Okay, let’s pass it over to Nova for her segment. Hey Nova, what do you have for us this week? 

Nova: A fact. 

Elsie: A fact? Okay, I’m excited. 

Nova: Did you know the first Olympic Games were held in ancient Greece? 

Elsie: Whoa, that sounds really cool. I wish I could see it. 

Nova: Yeah, I think it’s cool. 

Elsie: Thanks, Nova! 

Nova: Bye, I’ll see you next week.

Elsie: Thank you so much for listening. We had so much fun sharing about our social media era. We would love to hear your suggestions for topics for future episodes. Send us an email at podcast@abeautifulmess.com with your request. And next week we will be back with an absolute banger rewatch podcast. It is going to be Harry Potter week next week, so we will see you then.

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